What on earth do you do with your teens on Sundays?

[RuthEvershedforPM]

Hello

two kids at home (one only for summer) 19 and 14. For various boring reasons we can’t go away this summer and I can’t take much leave.

nevermind

but it’s another Sunday - I am bored shitless - would like to do something nice with the kids - they don’t get up until lunchtime and any suggestions I make fall on deaf ears.

obvs ask them what they would like to do ‘nothing’

Any suggestions welcome - including how I get out of weekend blues

Doesn’t the 19yo have a job? Most weekends at the moment are taken up by DD working. Other than that we head into the local city centre for a coffee and look around the shops, walk the dog at the beach and go out for Sunday dinner every few weeks.

Make your own plan. Invite them to join you. If they do, great. If not, also great.

Yes the 19 year old has a job. She works really hard in a care home. Not necessarily on Sundays

Yes I make my own plans - just incredibly lonely and would love to have some company and for the teens to join me sometimes

What would you like to do? Sit down and get a big list going, some stuff you’ll all enjoy. You can do tonnes in a day! Movies and snacks, historical sights, beach, coffee and cake, make sushi together, trip into a city, be a tourist in your town, find a class to do, go for a walk? If you have a plan and something they know is Happening they’ll get up for it. Hire a blinking pedalo on a lake and just have a random afternoon 😆

Depends where you live. I’m in London so plenty of things to do and places to go. I would combine something they like with something you like. But as a basic - movie, bowling, skating, shopping.

Nice ideas @FurForksSake :)

What did you use to do with your parents when you were 19 & 14?

I played poker with my teens the other night which was fun! I sometimes do park run with my 15yo (that's Sat not Sun). Mine can be bribed with food - maybe suggest going out for a full English breakfast or cake and milkshake.

If I do a favour for my teens like a lift, make them breakfast because they’re in a rush, order something they need - I tell them they owe me in time and then I make them do something with me. It works well. Yesterday, my 19 yr old came on a long walk with me and we had a really good conversation because I picked up some toiletries he needed when I went shopping.

I think probably just shopping. Was mostly at activities or with friends. But we would have gone away at some point over the summer so there would have been some concentrated family time.

i parent very differently to my folks - that’s fine. I would just like us to be able to enjoy some time together

I’d r or t a 19 year old to do their own thing. If working hard during the week then a day chilling in jammies seems fine!
-4 similar in that they are old enough to arrange their en meet ups with mates. If you wanted to do something as a family then going out to a pub for a roast lunch? Food seems one thing my kids will do with me!

I’m struggling with this. Very few things we both enjoy, and it’s just a battle. DCs can’t even get motivated to do the things they like doing - if left to it they’d just stay inside and in front of the computer all day. So trying to make sure they still do the sporty hobbies etc - but it’s hard work at the moment

Me and nearly 18yo DD are about to go for a walk, and we generally have a TV show on the go that we watch together a couple of times a week, but generally these days she's off doing her own thing.

Typically, we're completely out of sync child wise with all our friends, so now I've gotten my freedom back, noone else is free, so I've had to find. Awhile new set of friends to go and do stuff with over the past couple of years!

Yes! Out of sync is the issue. All of my friends have little ones. I haven’t made new friends so maybe it’s me and I need to just get a life! Even then though I really would like to spend some time with them - they are great kids ❤️

At 19 I wouldn’t dream of my parents organising my time or entertainment with them. At 14 I was out with my friends. It was a different time so we went out to communicate, not sit in our rooms and communicate online. But I never did anything with my family.

Fair - I am not ‘organising her time’ as such - she has a job, friends etc. as I said I’d I would just like some ways of doing some things together

anyway moderate success have convinced them to walk the dog with me this afternoon and to watch a film tonight

I think it helps to think separately about things you would like to do, and things you could stand to do with the kids (and would like it because with them), and make time for both.

1. What would you actually enjoy? Can you do it in the mornings while they are in bed? Or on Saturday and then something different on Sunday?

2. What would they enjoy and you be able to stand? It's a nice idea to imagine you'll be able to think of lots of things you'll all love but depending n where you live it might not be practical. Just as you put up with softplay or whatever when they were little, there is something to be said for putting up with an activity for the sake of time together, especially if you have also made time for the things you actually enjoy yourself (see 1). Also accept that 14 to 19 is a big gap so it may be that you're doing something with one or other of them rather than both.

Cinema, shopping, silly things like crazy golf or that giant golf you play with a football, pub lunch, art galleries, exercise class, themed movie night at home, board games, watch local football team or similar, beach.

I find my three have different interests / agendas so I tend to spend time with them individually.

My 18yr old works every weekend but in other times we go to the cinema to see films that appeal to him, he is often the one who will come to exhibitions with me, and he is a history geek so can be persuaded to see WW2 stuff.

My 15yr old comes for a dog walk and nice coffee every Sunday morning. She can also be persuaded into shopping, getting the train somewhere for the afternoon, or baking.

My 13yr old likes art galleries, cinema, going to see shows, browsing charity shops.

It's all about offerings that speak to them as individuals.

Have you told them that?

I find if I ask DD what she wants to do then I'll get the dreaded "Nothing", but if I actually tell her I'd like to spend some time with her this weekend and give her a few options, she'll be up for one of them.

I've also found that she's more likely to be up for something in the evening. She's no interest in drinking yet but she'll happily join me in a pub for some live music or (generally rubbish) standup comedy.

It’s not about parenting style it’s about being 19 & 14 and wanting to hang out with your mum/parents.

We have a 16 & 14 and they don’t mind doing stuff with us, eating with us, playing board games, but they really prefer their peers at the moment, which is as it should be.

I definitely hung out with my parents more mid 20s onwards once the flush of teenage and young adulthood was subsiding.

Great input - thank you all so much xx

One DC. We have a sport we both like and can play that sometimes. We usually have a tv series on the go. I don’t force time together but try to think of things - ie occasional trips to his football team. If they just want to chill I’d let them and do my own thing.

OP shopping is a favourite shared activity. Where we live there are heaps of options, vintage and thrift. My young adults love a browse with a chai and a bit of cake thrown in.

We sometimes book something random, like surfing lessons or a visit to a wine farm for lunch.

We did an escape room recently which we all ended up enjoying.

I stopped going out with my parents at the weekend at the age of 14 preferring to see friends. I think you need to start planning things for yourself. If they get up late are they available to have supper with you or a games evening or a movie nite? As for during the day, join a walking or cycling group and a book group. Make some new friends. You can’t rely on your children for company.