Who should go out of their way to rectify this?

[CrickityCrickets]

13yo went on a trip and came home yesterday without their boots. Trip was all about responsibility/organisation/leadership. Child has nothing to do today. Would it be mean to give them the job of going across town (hour walk in all) to pick up the boots from the house of the person who now has them. Or should I drive to pick them up, taking 13yo and (recalcitrant) younger sibling.

They walk over there, get the boots and then you pick them up?

Definitely send him to get them

It depends whether this is a regular problem or a one off.

Also, whether when you forget something/drop the ball you punish yourself to teach yourself a lesson or whatever you just put it down to human error and do whatever is easiest to repair the situation.

And I suppose the third thing is what you would like your son to do in a similar situation. Let's say someone drops the ball at school/work. Do you want him to be the sort of person who helps if he can or deliberately withholds assistance to teach the other person lesson?

I don't see it as a punishment, it's a natural consequence. He forgot a thing, so he goes and gets it. Part of this trip was to learn self reliance and he did well to pack his own bags etc. Now I'm spending the next couple of days washing his stinky clothes and packing for the upcoming family holiday, so I don't need more jobs on my list.

When does he next need the boots? Natural consequence would be to pick them up from the person who’s got them when you next see them, as long as it’s before the time you need them next. An hour’s walk is over the top unless it’s really necessary and you’re really pushed for time.

Why don’t you get him helping you with his laundry? You seem so resentful and overwhelmed about it.

Send him to get them himself. Might teach him to look after his things a bit better in future. Even if it’s an hour’s walk each way it won’t kill him - an even better lesson.

If you can fit it in, just take them to pick them up and send them up to the house to say thank you, go home and get on with your day. It would be a slightly funny story to tell about the day they came home from a camp about responsibility and forgot to bring there boots

Why not get him to do his laundry and help him out with a lift to get his boots? That's seems far more logical and a better life lesson.

I agree with natural consequences, but it's not really natural if you're deliberately withholding help that you would normally provide (and expect to be provided to you in the same circumstances). That feels punitive.

If you've lots to do it's not really efficient to send someone on a two hour round trip that could be done in 20 minutes in a car. Use your manpower better, have him do the laundry and you go and get the boots.

They go

You stay home with recalcitrant siblings.
Responsibility and organisation being the key words in your speech telling him why he's going himself.