would you be a bit worried?

[CoopDoop]

a friend of mine was last online 9 days ago, He is generally online throughout the day and at night and it's gone from that to nothing at all..

9 Days ago I asked if he would lend me quite a lot of money (my flat caught on fire recently and I lost everything) we were on the phone at the time and he sent it over to me as we were chatting, I told him I would pay him back today as I got paid and he just hasn't been online since he sent the money. He was supposed to be calling me this afternoon to tell me which account to send the money back to as he has two and wasn't sure then which account he wanted it in..

If I call it goes to voicemail, text not going through and he hasn't been online at all anywhere. We live about 300 miles away from each other otherwise I would have called round to his house by now to see if he was ok.

am I right to be worried or is it a case of he's an adult and can chose not to come online or answer his phone etc

If this behaviour isn’t normal for him then I’d be concerned too.
Is there anyone you know who lives close who could check in on him?.
Any local pub or cafe you know he visits regularly you could call to ask if they’ve seen him?

I think if you can’t do either of those I’d be calling the police to explain your concerns. 9 days seems a long time for radio silence, not replying to messages or texts. Even if he’d gone away on a last minute break he’d take his phone surely?.

Hope everything is ok OP and it’s just a case of him being busy or losing his phone.

Is there another number you could call him from? You may have been blocked? It seems odd that he’s disappeared after lending you money though.. how much did he lend you? Have you ever had concerns over his mental health/state of mind?

If this isn’t typical for him then I’d be worried. Do you have a phone number for him or can you message someone else he knows that might be closer to him?

The way you tell it OP , from your perspective, to me it sounds concerning.
Can you not call the local police and ask for a safe and well check to his address?
If you know him well enough that you yourself feel it out of character especially under the circumstances, I would think it was a fairly reasonable request.

How do you two know each other? Have you ever actually met in person? How long have you known each other? Is there any way you might have left him with the impression that you're one of those dating scammers who asks for loads of money from "partners" they've never actually met and just keeps asking for more and more? Obviously I'm not saying you are a scammer, I'm just wondering if that's the impression he's been left with after you asked him for a large sum of money?
If I'm completely off-base here then yes you should definitely be worried!

How long have you known him?

Sorry, my phone is terrible at the moment.

How long have you known him?

Absolute radio silence for that amount of time is concerning.

He could have gone away and decided to take a break from social media etc but he'd still likely use his phone for directions, payments etc and you'd have thought he'd replied to your message about bank details. Of course something could have happened to his phone and he's not yet managed to sort it out.

Do you know any of his friends, family or where he works to see if they've heard from him or can check on him? But if not, I think you're justified in asking the police to conduct a welfare check.

Hoping he's just taking a break from being online or his phone is broken.

known each other for 23 years and also used to live very close to each other too but I ended up moving away a few years ago and we kept in touch online/phone and meet up every year or so to catch up in person.

He's still not been in touch so i'm calling for a welfare check as soon as i finish work

I really hope he's okay. He sounds like a really good friend.

I hope he was found to be ok @CoopDoop