I’ve become the fat person I used to judge

[feelinglikeanawfulmum]

When I was younger I used to judge people who were so overweight they were out of breathe and sweaty. Who got fat through no self control. I watched Fat Friends as a teen confused about “how people could get like that.” Yet here I am. But it’s dawned on me today that I’ve become that person. I’ve get so sweaty and out of puff, I’ve always got an ache or a pain, I have no willpower. I always thought adults had it together and it was easy. I feel like I should be doing better by now rather than just getting bigger.
But instead of setting a plan I went to McDonald’s and ate a disgusting amount of food. I’m trying to juggle almost solo parenting and a full time job alongside other long term chronic health conditions. I hate that I’ve got to this point. My son goes to school next year and I can’t bear the thought of doing the school run looking like I do.
Weight loss injections aren’t approved for my conditions yet and I’m jealous of those taking them or who can stick to a plan rigourously.
HELP! Every time I set a plan to eat less or move more, I manage a day or so before something else comes along and sidetracks me and I feel like I’ve messed it all up and why bother? I hate feeling like this.

What size would you like to be?

I think realistically anything under a size 16 would be my ultimate goal. It’s just got worse since I had my son. I know it’s about priorities and of course I could go to the gym and spend ages on cooking meal boxes back then.

This is really mean.

OP I think as a young effortlessly slim person it’s pretty normal to wonder how people get fat without doing something about it. Then you have kids and your metabolism slows down and you have less time to cook or exercise …. You suddenly realise how those people got fat.

id say start small. Give up dessert or go for skimmed milk coffee or drink extra water. Any
goal that will be manageable. Go from there. Give up McDonald’s except on the last day of the month etc. small changes will empower you to make and manage big changes.

Maybe look at intermittent fasting too. It’s a really good way to lose weight and I find not eating before 11 really manageable.

I guess you'd like some sympathy now. Shame you didn't have any before for the people who were on the end of your judgements.

I'm still overweight but losing a fair bit by using injections and it sickens me how much nicer people are to me now I'm slimmer.

Imagine your health issues ramping up along with the scale dial. Could you face telling your dc you won't be around much longer?
I had a health scare. I imagined my 10yo growing up without a dm. . It gave me the push I needed. Lost half a stone in a month.. A good start imo.

Let's hope that if and when you lose weight Op you also lose your judgemental attitude.

Hey OP,

I think the thing you need to reflect on is why you are overweight. By that I mean, do you do emotional eating, or maybe are you using food as a coping mechanism for anxiety or anything else ? Is it your health condition or maybe some medication you're taking ?

Ideally you'd need to work both on your diet and on the deeper reasons that govern your eating habits.

Do you enjoy cooking ? Could you motivate yourself to cook healthier food ? It doesn't have to be hard or take a lot of time, and it doesn't have to taste bad - it can be delicious. Personally I like mixed salads and homemade soup, but you'd have to experiment and see what works for you.

Look up some recipes online or look at a healthy cooking channel on youtube ?

Don't hate yourself, that's the first thing. Make peace with it. Think about all the other ways you are wonderful - and I am sure there a lots of amazing things about you. Simply the fact you are juggling lone parenthood and full time work alongside chronic conditions makes you amazing!

Then just start to think about making baby steps for health. Don't see it as an all at once thing. Gradually change habits.

If people judge you, that's a them problem, but you need to stop hating yourself. I became very large on steroids and it was a revelation realising how much fat people have to deal with judgement every day. I wasn't a different person, I was still funny (well, I think so ), kind, hard working, a loving mum. It was a revelation though to realise I didn't have to see myself through the eyes of the most judgemental people

This.

Good. 😊

There is a psychological element to it, you’re overeating for comfort or to reduce stress. The mind and body work together so gentle exercise will help - don’t throw yourself into a really intense running session because you’re so keen to lose the weight quickly but things that put you back in touch in your body will help, like yoga or swimming or cycling. You just have to eat less overall. I know it seems really hard but it is actually that simple once you’ve overcome the psychological barriers.

We can all judge other people. Op used to be judgemental of fat people before she was in the same situation
She acknowledges that. We all learn as we come up against different situations in our lives. Yes it would have been good if she could have been more understanding when she wasn't in the same situation as the people she used to judge. Who hasn't been there in some situation or another. If I had a pound for all the things I've got wrong over the course of my life I would be a wealthy woman. 😁 Let's give each other a bit of space to learn and grow sisters 😁♥️

Intermittent fasting and quitting upfs helped me hugely as age and weight crept up on me. Recommend reading Ultra Processed People as it makes you realise it’s not really our lack of willpower, it’s that companies spend literal billions making addictive food that makes us overweight and depressed. I feel so much better since I cut it right down…

Bloody hell, the mean girls are out in force today!

OP ignore the nasty responses and focus on the now. As a PP has suggested, start small, something you know you can stick to, then go from there.

For me, it was writing everything down that helped…I could then see exactly what I was doing to myself! I did this every day for a week, and honestly, I was shocked at how much I had been lying to myself about what I was eating/drinking.

Then I made a plan! I used ChatGPT, and asked it to create a high protein, low carb (but not ‘no carb’) for a week. I tailored it to where I shop (Sainsbury’s) and asked it to be mindful that I was shopping on a tight budget. I also asked it to add the calories for each meal and to make the recipes for dinner big enough (and suitable for) taking leftovers for my lunch.

It gives a shopping list and recipes too if you ask it!

I now do this weekly, and since May I’ve lost 2st5lb.

Take control. You can do this!

This is a good ides that I might do

Start by being kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you're doing a good job balancing all the things you need to balance, and it's ok for some things to go a bit by the wayside atm.

Think in terms of wellness and nurturing yourself. First, why are you overeating? Because you're hungry and eating the wrong things? Or not because you're hungry, but for emotional reasons, because you're bored or to get a dopamine hit? If so, can you think of other healthier ways to get that hit? Exercise, a cup of coffee, a foot spa or skincare routine that makes you feel good and that you're treating yourself?

I regularly eat "junk" because I have a dopamine deficit and suffer from impulsive decision-making (ADHD). It gives me a short-term hit that helps me to focus. I also find it difficult with all the various competing priorities to structure my day to get sufficient exercise. Identifying the problem has helped me to address it, although I still have a long way to go. For me, it's about building routines that work for me to help avoid burnout (and temptation) and it takes a lot of hard work and planning.

Look into calorie density of foods. You can eat reasonable portions of things if the calories of the food are low, so lots of vegetables, big salads, and healthy carb but little or no oil There are videos on YouTube about it, Nutmeg Notebook has a one called Calorie Density Weight Loss Secrets Revealed. I watched it a long time ago so can't remember how good it is but I definitely learnt from it at the time.

It's not about calorie counting. It's about not eating crap. Crap is sugar, takeaways, ready meals, UPFs. Read Dr Chris Van Tullekan, Jessie Inchauspe, Dr Michael Moseley and Dr Andrew Jenkinson.