As you get older, what do you appreciate more?

[TitaniasAss]

Aside from your loved ones? Although I've included mine as I couldn't not!

As a twenty something, my life revolved around socialising and clubs etc. I was rarely on my own and craved company as I thought it was what I needed at all times in case I felt lonely. I remember my aunt back in the 80s saying that people were never content and I remember thinking 'i'll never be like that I want more!'

I bought a flat in my mind 20s (long time ago) and realised that I like being on my own and actually need solitude sometimes. Fast forward to marriage and children and that all went by the by and now, as I reach my late 50s (which, imo is a great time of life) I need much less than I thought I would:
DS and DD to be safe and happy, DH around (when he's not getting on my nerves 😂), my friends who I love from my bones and couldn't do without, my sister (my best friend) and her family, my beautiful dog, a good book, my phone and a nice wine. I'm automatically including our very average but lovely home in all this and it's made me realise that I need much less to be content than I ever thought I would when I was younger. Contentment is so underrated and feels wonderful.

I'm aware that this sounds very self absorbed and I don't mean it to. I've been through so many bereavements, cancer, my own family's life limiting conditions etc., but I think I've just realised that, compared to many, I'm very lucky and I'm truly grateful.

Time alone and sleep

Birdsong, nature, no drama and not having to put up with awful people at work.

Quiet

Time alone is so important to me. I totally get that. My DCs are adults now but I haven't forgotten when I never had a second to myself. Or when people made you feel guilty for even wanting that.

This. As a 45 year old mother of five kids, one of whom is only 13 months….these are the two things I value most. They are rare, but magical when they happen.

My garden. As a teenager I resented having to do things like water the plants and mow the lawn at my DPs house As a twenty and thirty year old I was happy with my yard and no effort to keep things nice. Now I'm early 40s in a new house with a garden. I love it. I love the plants and the birds and the bees and butterflies and the peace

Another vote for my garden. We have sacrificed indoor space to have lots of outside space - garden, orchard and fields. Bliss!

Sleeping and stretching.

As many other have said, alone time and sleep.

I also appreciate those moments of joy and wonder more, I think. When I was younger life was full of adventure and novelty and great nights out. Now these things are rarer but I think I appreciate them more for it.

Comfort. I have always loved beautiful clothes and home decor, but now I think part of their beauty is in the comfort they provide as well as how they look.

Lovely thread. I'm still at the busy family stage and sometimes freak out a bit about getting older so it's nice to hear positive experiences.

Security and chill with my loved ones. Isn't that what everyone strives for?
Enjoy everything you have. No more negatives.
I'm pretty much there. It's been a journey.

Peace and quiet. And space —and good wine—

Comfort, space and peace and quiet

An early night.

Trees.

Rabbits.

Im 46 with 3 children under 12 so still in the thick of it.

Lovely to hear of people in their 50's happy and content.

Unless any major health problems develop, I think that will be me.

At the moment, I appreciate quiet, solitude. Nature. Birdsong. Changing seasons. I do not get much of any of these things but live in hope I will soon.

Edited for typo

My incredibly stable, fairly dull, life.
Not dull because I don’t do anything, I do a lot, but it’s fun stuff I choose now rather than things I feel I ought to, and it’s stable because dh is a nice normal guy who is relaxed and easy going (most of the time!) and my dc are on the whole very good company and enjoyable to be around.
I really appreciate that I love coming home. I have friends who have very chaotic ever changing lives and home set ups, they don’t seem to mind but it stresses me out just listening to them!
I also appreciate being financially stable.
And my health. Without that things could and would look very different.

Time - it waits for no-one

It's odd though because just reading these comments has made me realise that I also kind of miss the chaos of when my DCs were little too. My DCs are wonderful young people (21 and 19) but although I love the opportunity of solitude if I need it, I do miss their little faces when I was the most important thing in their lives, so if you're at that stage, treasure it. Now I've just contradicted my very own thread. 😂

This is it. How lovely.

This

That we are all so individual and make choices accordingly. What looks like hell to me is fun for someone else and there is nothing wrong with either of us.

And how much control we have over our reactions and behaviours. People might upset me with thoughtlessness but I don’t take it personally and am just grateful I’m not them.

Yes, I love this.

I also find that things I may have been upset or offended by 20 years ago don't even enter my headspace today as I just don't care. Live and let live and all that.

I think I appreciate not caring as much about what other people think. I’m not 100% there yet but more than I was 10 years ago.

The death of my parents in 2022 was completely devastating for me, but had one strangely almost immediate consequence, in that I became laser focused on what was important to me.

My family, my pets and my circa six close friends, who I luckily see regularly. Everything else just seemed to effervesce overnight. The grief will always be there, but it’s given me this unexpected cast-iron confidence I never imagined I’d have.

A drama-free life.

I mind my own business and protect my peace at all costs. It’s brilliant.