Utterly bored teen doing my head in help!

[Boredteen]

As above. He is 17 and sooo bored he is beyond being able to think of anything to do. He is quite bright and gets bored easily but this is a whole new level. He has applied for loads of jobs but got nowhere. He shrugs off my requests to cut grass, paint fence etc. his mates don’t seem to be able to organize anything and he is fed up of trying to make things happen. Help!

He can take a professional course, apply for internships, volunteer, train for a marathon, do a bungee jump to raise money for a charity, volunteer abroad, learn a new language...

Is he doing Alevels? My DD is busy with entrance essays, ucas statement, reading material for next year.

She got a job in June at local pub and works there twice a week too.

Do you live near a city? Mine go into London for the free museums too.

Teen DSD who has fallen out with her friendship group and not ready for a job is:
-volunteering at the local farm
-repainting her bedroom + furniture
-going on bike rides
-walking our dogs
-determined to read 50 book this summer so lots of reading, library, coffee shops, parks
-babysitting younger siblings for money
-learning to crochet
-dance lessons

does he do any exercise? Start running or join a gym? Anywhere he can volunteer? That experience will help him get a job

@NotsurewheretostarthereYours is a DD!!! Boys are not self starters in many cases.

He probably doesn’t know what a museum is. If he’s applying for jobs, what is he doing about education? Or were these summer jobs? What else have you suggested? What about volunteering? Look at what’s available locally. He’s probably not gods gift to an employer. He could try volunteering in a care home.

Learn a new language made me laugh. I bet he’s not much good at any MFL. Takes effort! Obviously has useless friends too. Does he have any interests in anything at all?

@TizerorFizz ha ha! Yes I have a younger teen boy too, but he is ASD so I'm never sure how he is is down to being a boy, or ND!!

What a ridiculous comment.
why would a boy not know what a museum is or be able to do any of those things?

Sounds like you have really, really low expectations of males.
Why would you think OPs near adult son would not know what a museum is, is a non starter, that an employer wouldn't want him, and he would be incapable of learning a language?

(Edited because I kept noticing more and more insults in the comment)

oh come on! Boys don’t take themselves off to museums at 17. It’s the end of July and he’s bored! If he was full of ideas and a self starter he wouldn’t be bored! Yes. It is more of a boy problem like being addicted to gaming. We need to wake up and get boys engaged with hobbies. Op hasn’t mentioned sport. Just work rejections. What is he doing with his parents? What are the family planning for the rest of the summer. Being bored isn’t new at 17 is it? It’s built up and he’s not helpful either.

Thanks guys!
what do you all do as a family? Son doesn’t really want to do stuff with me. so any tips welcome.
his dad said he’d pay him to decorate but it was like pulling teeth and he was soooo bored after an hour, it was exhausting.
he does muck about with electronics but he’s too bored to do that at the moment. He does do sport with mates but they are often not around. As a group they seem unable to just hang out, and plans don’t seem to come to fruition. They were supposed to go away, but it all fell apart for some reason.
I just feel rubbish as a mum because he seems to have spent most summer hols being bored. It doesn’t help that his cousin in America goes to summer camps where they water ski/ horse ride/ sail and my MIL says ‘why don’t you do that’ but doesn’t hear me say, err..because it’s over 1k a week.
am arranging a weekend in London so that’s something.
Maybe it’s me that’s bored and guilty and I’m projecting!

Set him a challenge with the weekend in London as the prize? Cycle couch to 50K, run couch to 5K, read 50 books (or even 10), go on 10 train journeys on his own, visit 10 free attractions (then he'll find the museums!)

He's nearly an adult why are you arranging his life. He's not too bored to mow the lawn or paint the fence for you is he.

He sounds like a brat to be honest. Every time he winges again, just say there's a a lawn that needs mowing. He doesn't wanna do it, tell him to stop complaining. Repeat x1000

Stop pandering to this childish nonsense.

What’s that saying: you’re not bored, you’re boring.

Is he actually bored or a bit melancholic?

Is he mid sixth form, or just finished as just finished can feel very odd. Like in limbo.

Is he likely to go to university? Could you plan a trip to a few different uni towns. Or is that not his likely future.

I sometimes think people need structure and volunteering would give that. Something to get up for and community.

When my DC were 17 I’d long since stopped being the entertainment committee! If they were bored it was up to them to find something to do. My only rules were that if they wanted extra money they had to earn it (they both had an allowance) and that I didn’t want to hear how bored they were.

I always offered a few jobs that they could earn money for, outside of the normal
stuff that I just expected. I also would ask DS to take charge of the evening meal a couple of times a week. For that he would plan, prep and cook it. If we didn’t have some of the ingredients he’d go off on his bike and get them. I’d pay him for the ingredients obviously as long as they were reasonable. There’s a load of stuff they have to learn for when they’re living independently, get them doing some of it now.

DD was less bored because she loved finding ways to earn money, so she would feed the cats for a couple of neighbours when they were going on holiday which earned her a fiver a day for very little time on her part. She’d do some babysitting or teach herself a new skill. She’d learned to use a sewing machine one summer and made herself a skirt out of one of DH’s old shirts!

DS was more likely to not know what to do but there’s going somewhere on a bike with mates or getting on a bus to go somewhere. Getting them out of the house is always a good option! But you’re not responsible for how he spends his time, at his age he needs a bit of no-nonsense ‘well these are the options, choose one and I don’t want to hear any moaning’. But my DC are mid to late twenties now so maybe I’m just old fashioned!

Thanks. He mowed the grass at the weekend, and saw his mates Saturday evening, so not so bad.Maybe I’m over concerned. We’ve been through a lot recently as a family and it worries me overly when he is quiet. Maybe he is a bit melancholic ( lovely word) he is in limbo and college is looming in September.
I just hate to see him listless.