Now i will start this by saying I'm ill with some virus that has made my asthma bad and I hardly slept last night due to coughing constantly so that is a big factor why I'm so emotional.
However over the past few weeks anyway I've been thinking how alone i've been feeling. My family don't really check in or meet any of my emotional needs. Never have since I was a child. They know I'm poorly but have not checked in by text or call to see how I am. I just hurt my finger and shut it in the door and it bloody hurt and I just broke down crying because I have no one here to look after me. I'm just looking after myself physically and emotionally. I just feel really sad about it all.
On top of that this morning my hideous abusive ex has been horrible to me this morning. He asked if DS could come with me today as DS doesnt want to go to grandparents. I really wanted to see him however I'm ill so I've said no unfortunatley I can't. Que the barriage or horrible messages from DS dad. He took me to court last year for 50/50 and basically re-abused me through the courts and pulled a number on everyone that he was a great dad and not abusive at all. So during the holidays it 1 week each alternating. I find it very hard. I miss DS, his dad doesn't do much with him and sends him to grandparents which DS doesnt like now hes getting older. So I guess I'm feeling guilty I can't have him today due to me being ill.
Sorry for the ramble, I don't really have anyone in my life I can discuss this with. The little friends I have are going through their own things and I don't want to dump it all on them.
Just can't stop crying and feeling rubbish