Anxious first timer - talk to me about Nepal.

[seekinghoneymoon]

DH and I are currently looking for somewhere for our honeymoon and he’d like to visit Nepal.

He’s a seasoned traveler and spent most of his late teens and early 20s travelling (mainly Africa, Sri Lanka and Eastern Europe).

We went backpacking together on two separate trips to South East Asia about 8 years ago. I absolutely loved it but got a massive culture shock on the first trip that lasted about 2 weeks (both trips were around 4 months each). Since then, I’ve had issues with anxiety and feel less prepared for another big trip than I did in the first place!

Our loose plan is to go back to Thailand (more the North as opposed to the South) because I loved it there and it’s a great place for a more affordable luxury holiday, but DH has floated the idea of also visiting Nepal, he’s always dreamed of seeing the Himalayas.

I’ve heard great things, but we’re both nervous that my culture shock is going to “ruin” the experience. We'd be looking to go over Christmas for around 3 weeks, no itinerary set other than ending the holiday on a luxury note in Thailand lazing by the pool reading our books.

For added context: I’m not precious in any way, I’ve no issue with rustic accommodation, spent many an 8 hour bus ride in Thailand needing to wee in a bush in the middle of nowhere, was fine staying in the odd place with cockroaches roaming around in order to save money, etc. My main anxieties seem to be surrounding safety and transport and I find feeling unsafe to be rather scary rather than exciting.

Has anyone been who can give me some idea of what it’s like? What are the locals like? Is it safe overall? I don’t do well in big cities (no matter where I am in the world) but is the countryside totally secluded and likely to “freak me out”?

Any help/advice would be lovely, because I WANT to go, I'm just nervous.

No advice I'm afraid but very interested to read responses. Can you say more about how your culture shock manifested itself?

(were you saddened by what you witnessed, or scared witless by the sights/sounds maybe?)

I loved Nepal and felt very safe there in comparison to India, personally, but being blunt, the health and safety culture is not generally well developed in that part of the world.

Nepali people are wonderful and amongst the kindest that I've met anywhere. The scenery is also stunning.

A combination of things, really. We arrived into Bangkok and I was immediately overwhelmed. My first tuktuk ride was one of the "scam" ones where they take you to 5 different shops/travel agents and try to get you buy random things. I wasn't expecting the amount of people who would be pressuring us to book tours etc in the streets, and straight after that we went to Ayutthaya which at the time was very quiet ( the complete other end of the scale to Bangkok).

Essentially I was just very young (had just turned 20) and it was my first time experiencing that culture and it hit me hard. After a couple of weeks I calmed down and absolutely loved every second.

Thank you! Have you been anywhere else in that area? If so, how would you say it compared safety wise? The most rural place we visited was probably Flores in Indonesia and I did ok with that, however it was towards the end of our trip, so I'm keen to find a comparison.

Did you feel safe on transport?

Well it’s been a long time since my last visit so probably not the most up to date advice, but a few things I can say,
The people on the whole I found generally friendly, kind and polite. Obviously that’s not always going to be the case but I never felt unsafe, even late at night.
Ktm is incredibly hectic in a quirky chaotic way. Understand it’s modernised somewhat in the last decade or so. Poverty can be quite in your face in places though.
The countryside is unbelievably stunning. The scale of the mountains has to be seen to be believed. The trekking areas are mostly quite some way from Ktm, we did langtang trek which is one of the closest. Do not underestimate how tough these can be in terms of going uphill. I certainly wouldn’t try it now without a guide/porter.
November ish is probably the best time to go as monsoon has passed and you’ve reasonable chance of seeing the peaks from a distance, they’re cloud covered in monsoon season. The leeches (yes!!) have also gone by them. They were literally everywhere in the Annapurna area when we went in September.
It’s generally an extremely cheap place to go once youre there, esp in the rural areas.
Pokhara is far more relaxing than Ktm, it’s a nice place to chill.

I have been to Nepal. Loved it, but I am of Indian origin and used to crowds, noise and poor health and safety standards. There will be a lot of poverty which may upset you. One needs a bit of a thick skin to travel in S Asia. That said, so much to see and enjoy!

I would stick to vegetarian food, but not salads. Hot fresh food like daal bhaat ( daal rice) and vegetables.

I loved Nepal. It's the most beautiful country and the people are lovely. You have to be prepared to be assertive about saying no: to visiting someone's brother's friend's cousin's carpet factory or buying a hat/bangle/t-shirt you don't want but I'd definitely go back there.

Did you feel safe on transport?

Being honest, no. The way the Nepalese often drive is somewhat terrifying at times. The roads can often have huge drops to the side in the more mountainous areas (ie most of the country) and doing things like overtaking half way round a blind corner seem acceptable to them, they just beep their horn and cross their fingers it would appear. I’m sure though if you found a good driver or cab used to tourists, they well drive in a more safe manner but the locals (esp the lorries) often seem a bit mad imo.

Thank you! A lot of that sounds reasonably similar to my experience in some places in S.E Asia, although perhaps a level above, it seems. Kathmandu definitely sounds like the type of place where I'm likely to freak out - if we avoid it, are we missing out on anything big? I think the food will be a big highlight, we both love Indian food and it seems to be heavily inspired by it over there.

I've also been debating the idea of booking onto a tour, assuming that will make me feel better. A friend of mine did that in New Zealand and Australia and said it was great, it allowed her to explore and have an adventure whilst still feeling like she was being looked after. Do you know if there are similar tour guide groups in Nepal? I'll of course do my own research, but a recommendation is always welcome.

Yes I needed to learn that rather quickly in S.E Asia as well, so will definitely need to practice a bit.

Sounds a lot like some of the drivers in Thailand too, to be honest! I can't remember at all how I dealt with it at the time, perhaps it's where my anxiety has stemmed from! Thank you for your honesty, always good to be prepared rather than have things sugarcoated.

Yes, I've travelled quite a lot in South Asia, East Asia and South East Asia. Also lived in one SE Asian country for a while and I spend a lot of time in India, including very rural areas.

I can't say that I felt particularly unsafe in Nepal but I'm very used to transport in that part of the world and so I might not be the best yardstick. The driving culture there is certainly different and they certainly don't have the kind of culture around health and safety that we have in the UK. Having said that, I didn't feel any less safe than in other countries in the region, if that helps.

Personally, I think South Asia is probably more of a culture shock for most British people than South East Asia tends to be, but I think Nepal is probably much less of a culture shock than India, which is a full-on assault on all the senses.

I was in Kathmandu in autumn 2023 and it was fairly crowded and busy with narrow pavements and chaotic traffic but probably no worse than many places you have already been to, not as bad as Delhi for instance. I was with a group so we were mostly taken places on minibuses but I did have an afternoon to walk around by myself and didn't feel pressured or harassed. There are people trying to sell you stuff but they are not persistent and all accepted my smile and 'no thanks'. The airport is a bureaucratic hell so allow time to get through all the checks and endless queuing.

We went on to Bhutan from Nepal which was astonishingly gorgeous and serene. It's expensive and difficult to get there but it's my favourite place that I have ever visited. We had three nights in Kathmandu to acclimatise a bit, but still a couple of the people in our group came down with altitude sickness in Bhutan. I felt very spinny for the first day but was fine after that even at 4,000m.

I would recommend Bhutan too. Much quieter and more serene.

I absolutely love travelling but Nepal for a honeymoon?! Nope.

Well, in terms of things like temples, yes you’d be missing out by skipping the Ktm valley, there’s so much of that there although obviously bear in mind the earthquake will sadly have changed much of what is still standing. Bhaktapur in particular is absolutely beautiful, although again you will be seeing some fairly hard poverty there too. Nargakot is nearby though and that is a lot more peaceful than the valley. Can imagine it’s much more modernised these days though.

There are plenty of touring companies for sure. I can’t recommend a specific one though.

Edit to add, I would return there in a heartbeat given the chance. Oh and my DPs finished their honeymoon there back in the late 60s

I've found Nepal to be generally less frenetic and frankly a little cleaner than India. I've done my travelling there in tour groups (I used Exodus). The Himalayas will utterly take your breath away if you decide to go. December is a good time to go if you decide to trek - the teahouses are quieter, and the skies are so clear. It can be very cold if you're trekking at altitude (it was -20 at Gorak Shep when I was there) but you're fine when you're walking, and the sun is usually out.

I'd definitely go for a trip with a partner there, but I'd skip it for a honeymoon. You could get sick, or get altitude sickness if you're trekking, and it could take the shine off your honeymoon. If you're set on it then I'd break your trip on the way back and have a few days luxury in somewhere like Oman to chill out.

Thank you, that's certainly helpful! Sounds like it's in between S.E Asia and India culture shock wise, perhaps leaning slightly more to S.E Asia.

That all sounds a bit similar to my experience in Bangkok, which even now I wouldn't rush to return to, so that's very helpful, thank you. Hadn't considered the altitude sickness, only just started researching, so that's good to bear in mind.

All very useful to bear in mind, thanks so much. Will have to have a discussion about whether or not we think Kathmandu will be worth it with my anxieties, and will start looking into touring companies. Thank you! I know it's perhaps not a "usual" honeymoon destination, but we're not the type of people to lay by the pool for 3 weeks so definitely keen to break it up a bit with some adventure. Hope your parents enjoyed their honeymoon!

I think the Himalayas are the main attraction for my DH and I totally understand why, they look incredible. We went to the Alps a couple of years ago and even that was unlike anything I'd ever seen, so it sounds very tempting.

Thanks for the name of the tour group, I'll look into them. Overall, were you happy with them and would recommend them?

Didn't think about it being very cold, nor about the possibility of altitude sickness, more things to take into account, thank you!

One word (if it hasn't been mentioned already) :
Altitude

Kathmandu definitely sounds like the type of place where I'm likely to freak out - if we avoid it, are we missing out on anything big?

Probably yes, and definitely yes!

Kathmandu is overwhelming in places, especially to the inexpeienced traveller - but that is all you are. Inexperienced. The more you do the less inexperienced you will be and the less overwhlemed. But you absolutely MUST, MUST, MUST go to Bhaktapur (which is actually about 12 miles from Kathmandu but most people visit from Kathmandu) because there is absolutely nowhere in the world like it. And although it is a pracfice that presents some ethical questions, whilst there you should aspire if at all possible to see the Kumari (or at the very least, her home) because that is something it is almost impossible to see anywhere else in the world now.

Google Women's Co-operative for places you are visiting - Nepal has many of them producing fantastic quality items which support education and economic freedom for Nepali women.

For Kathmandu, the must sees are the Boudhanath Stupa, the Pashupatinath Temple (the largest Hindu Temple in the world), and the Swayambhunath. And that's the tip of the iceberg - you could spend weeks just around the Kathmandu area.

One semi-warning for the uninitiated - the Pashupatinath also contains ones of the largest cremation areas on the Bagmatio River behind it. It is clean, tidy and very respectful; and they also have no problems at all with respectful visitors. But Hindu cremation ghats are what they are, and if you can't take it, don't go there. Equally, it is a fascinating and ancient practice.

One last point - outside many of the temples you will see gatherings of older / elderly women, often having a great gossip and doing handicrafts (which may or may not be for sale). Most do not speak English, or poorly. Do go and sit with them and take an interest in what they are doing, even if you can't chat with them. And give them some small coins (keep a collection especially for this purpose). Regrettably social structures are breaking down massively in Nepal now, and women who would have previously been supported by younger generations are now often turned out of their homes and abandoned. They exist on the charity of others, and a pittance from you can make a real difference in someones life, especially in the smaller villages and towns.

I haven't been to Bangkok, but from what I've heard it sounds a lot more intense and overwhelming than Kathmandu. Kathmandu was more like the back streets of Kuala Lumpur, not the shiny new bits of KL, the older bits with street markets.