How much time are you spending with Teens?

[Mayflyby]

I have a 16 yo and 13yo on school holidays. The 16 yo wants nothing to do with me and spends a lot of time gaming. Wouldn’t mind so much if he was out with friends.
13 yo will do things with me each day but I find it hard to know what to plan. We went swimming today which was nice but then the rest of the day she is mostly playing Minecraft.
So I am curious to know how much time most teens spend with their parents in the holidays.

We have scheduled in 1 day a week as "family day" and told 15 year old DS as long as he comes on whatever outing we plan on that day and goes to every session of his sport training (6 sessions a week) I will leave him alone the rest of the holidays and not nag him to get off his computer. Working ok so far.

I could have written the same about my 2 teens and they're almost the same ages as yours. my eldest is a dd. and yep also wants nothing to do with me but funnily enough has lots of time for her dad. (we are separated) i think dad falls into more mate category than parent, so im the boring one who sorts all the life admin out and deals with everything while dads just for fun. Dd and me do get on, she just prefers her dad and it hurts at times.
Younger one is ds and just turned at teen will still do the odd trip out with me but prefers to be glued to a screen or with dad also.
sad really as ive spent years raising them and putting them first like mums do and now i feel cast aside and unimportant and unwanted in their lives.

@jonahjonesI just wanted to say my DD is the same and me and her dad are together. They just click in a different way and have shared interests. When the poop hits the fan through she will come to me first. I think it’s just part of them becoming more independent. You sound like a lovely mum, she will come to you as she grows and sees your unconditional love from the eyes of an adult.

Thank you. Dad has always been the favourite with both dc from a very young age, we've only been separated for a couple of years. But 100% childcare and responsibility was always down to me from day 1. He wouldn't know the name of their gp, or dentists, whether they had their vaccinations or not. school event dates, no clue. shoe & clothing sizes not a clue as he's never dealt with any of it. He's taking them away for a short break in a couple of weeks time, while they're away il be going to pick new school uniform up from the uniform shop.
im never switched off from being mum even when they're not with me.
Just wish that appreciation of what mums do would come much sooner than adulthood. I'd love them to want to spend more time with me. I miss them being little.

I’m working so no time at all.

Mine doesn't spend any time with me at the moment unless I let him drive my car. He's learning and I have to sit in it, that's the only quality time we really get, but I am usually in a heightened state of anxiety!

Feeling similar OP but mostly it’s about my ASD DS who is 12. We’re going on 2 week family holiday soon so that’ll be great but last week and this week are difficult. Older DS is 16 and tbh is out most of the time having a blast of a summer as he should be, and thankfully he’s lovely and did something with his brother one day last week and will again tomorrow. 12 year old doesn’t have any friends although he does some evening and weekend activities but it’s the day time in the hols that’s tough. DH wfh but is v busy and stressful job and I’m office based and out 7am until 5pm.

Youngest is muddling through the days trying to entertain himself but its TV, PlayStation, Computer, lots of Stimming, and a dog walk.

I feel for him and my DH who is bearing the brunt of the boredom. At least tomorrow is sorted.

Ds is 16, im not working at the moment so im home every day. We've been on our family holiday, ds had a great time paddle boarding and kayaking. This week he's doing a Lifeguard course. He will help me with jobs around the house, we've done some baking together, whatever i suggest he will usually go along with it. He's easy going.

We have 2 weeks left of the holidays (Scotland) and I took a couple weeks off and we have done a few day trips, beach etc. I do feel guilty as I’m a single parent and can’t afford to go anywhere just now. We are going for a day trip to Blackpool on Friday. Bus leaves at 6.30am and we have booked the big swimming pool as she LOVES swimming but in my area there’s literal 0 kids pools. Then we will get food and do the arcades which she also loves. Bus home leaves at 8.30. We done it last year but done the main ‘attractions’ and had the best day. She’s nearly 12 btw. She’s happy to go out and play and comes in around 8.30 has her dinner, shower and goes to her room with her tv on and plays Roblox for a bit. The mum guilt is real though xx

During our family holiday there is a lot of interaction but at home DH and I work so DD is used to be on her own since she is 11 and refused holiday camps/activities.

She just turned 18 and for the last two/three years I employ her in Summer. She runs errands, does laundry, dishes, cleans. Not everyday all the time but at least 1-2 things per day on top of what she normally does as part of living together. It helps us all and we then spend part of the weekend together.