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Feeling like a terrible mother at the moment!

6 replies

twobabiesandapup · 28/07/2025 16:48

Just posting to see if anyone else has found themselves in this situation as I’m feeling a bit crap about it, I had my second baby three weeks ago and my 20 month old toddler is currently only at nursery on Wednesdays and Thursdays (until September when he’ll be there Tuesdays-Thursdays), so today is the first day my partner has gone back to work after paternity leave and I feel like I’ve just relied so much on TV to get through today!

I did take both of them to the park this morning and over to Sainsbury’s, but I had second degree tearing during my labour and the walking has made me so achy, plus it’s caused my bleeding to start again so this afternoon has been spent feeding my newborn non stop whilst my toddler plays with his little soft play area we’ve bought him but with the TV constantly on (I’ve also managed to play with him and read to him briefly on and off on the rare occasions I could put my baby down). He was restricted to 30 mins TV time per day prior to her birth but today’s been ridiculous and I can’t see how it’s going to change over the next few weeks as I’m finding two under two very challenging in these early stages!

Before my second was born I was taking my toddler to the library, park, soft play and trampolining virtually every week even when I was 40+ weeks pregnant so I feel like his day today has been so boring and disengaging.

Anyone else felt like a terrible parent in the early newborn stages? Really hoping it’s not just me!

OP posts:
IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 28/07/2025 17:15

Dude, chill. You are doing just fine!

Pushing yourself physically will do no one any good in the long run so take it easy!

TV is not going to do any harm tbh, he will be fine but for some other ideas

  • Run a bath and Let the toddler play in it as splashy as he wants, chuck duplo or cars in.
  • Melissa and Doug reusable sticker books are great
  • or those paint with water books (limit the mess!)
  • Sit on the floor and play something that you don’t have to move much
  • Books or something like a Tonys machine
It will get easier!
Beamur · 28/07/2025 17:18

You need to heal whilst looking after 2 children.
TV in the background while your toddler plays at home is absolutely fine. Just vary the games and activities.
Get out for fresh air but don't overdo it.

museumum · 28/07/2025 17:23

Chill. It’s day 1. But also try sneaking the tv off when ds isn’t watching and see if you can get him used to just playing without it. Or maybe put some music on instead. But playing himself a bit is good for him.

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AutumnLover1989 · 28/07/2025 17:24

You're doing great xx

Iloveeverycat · 28/07/2025 17:28

Don't be too hard on yourself it is early days. If at nursery 2 days a week you don't need to go out anywhere if you don't feel like it. Nothing wrong with the TV on. I just don't like seeing toddlers on ipads or phones. Do you have a garden that he can play in as well. I had a newborn and 2 year old twins as I was a SAHM they didn't go to nursery. You don't have to feel guilty about not going out. There are plenty of things to do indoors.

Lotsalotsagiggles · 28/07/2025 17:44

These first few months are about survival

No judgement needed

You are doing brill, it's hard. Even leaving the house is an amazing achievement xxx

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