TW baby loss advice needed

[Stripybasket]

Hi all,

A dear friend of mine had twins very very early and sadly one of them passed away. The other one is still in hospital but seems to be making progress- still a long way to go and I think they have a very long journey ahead of them. I haven’t sent anything yet. I really don’t know what’s appropriate. A congratulations and a condolence card? What about a gift? I don’t know whether it’s appropriate to mark it as baby is still not out of hospital. Any advice would be welcomed as I want to be sensitive to what my friend is going through and don’t know how to handle it. Thank you.

How close are you guys? I assume they are in and out of NICU every day and also trying to plan a burial. They have enough on their plate at the moment and need help with everyday life. If you guys are close I would suggest offering to clean the house, do laundry, stop by with dinners that the just have to reheat etc. Right now they don’t need gifts they need help when they are in the trenches. You can get them a gift when baby comes home!

Second the first poster. No card etc is going to be appropriate given the mixed circumstances

Agreed. Having been through nicu and the subsequent death of my baby, no cards or gifts until baby is home.

Depending on how close you are, definitely send a message to let your friend know you are thinking of her. A cool bag of m&s (or other) snacks she can keep in a nicu locker could also be nice. Her emotions will be all over the place so she might not reply, but knowing you care is helpful.

Ok thank you so much for the help. We don’t live close to them so can’t really help in that sense but might send a uber eats voucher or something for food.

Check what they have at that hospital- many have Costa, M&S etc and the prices are often hiked. I would have massively appreciated a Costa voucher as I spent a fortune that I just couldn’t afford!