Hi all,
I’m just looking for somewhere to get my feelings down. I feel very unseen and unloved right now which potentially is selfish of me, but it’s just how I feel.
Everything feels like it’s going wrong. Work - I am still dealing with ill-treatment from my pregnancy where I’ve been told I didn’t meet expectations which feels like a tactic to push me out, whilst colleagues who gave the feedback and myself believe I went over and above expectations (I’ve even seen their feedback in black and white - they said I was great) so that feels like a constant battle and the negative opinions towards me are really bringing out deep rooted insecurities I have.
DH and I just seem to be at loggerheads. I’m certain it’s his fault and he’s an arse but it just feels like one thing after the other. I just feel very let down. Today he commented on a top I was wearing asking if this is the fashion now as I’ve worn it recently and never before - he then felt the need to tell me he doesn’t like it. I think I look nice but in general my appearance is something I obsess over and feel insecure about.
DS is the light of my life but I constantly wonder if he’s behind. He passed his first year check fine but I’m worried about language development and I can’t stop myself. My friend’s child is walking that’s the same age and DS is just cruising - I know that’s normal but it feels like a reflection on me being shit.
My friendships all feel shit right now. Just not receiving love in the way I give it and I feel really focused on not having anyone seem like they care about me.
I feel like an abject failure in all parts of life, nothing is going well for me. But then I feel ungrateful because no one is dying.
I could write so much more but won’t. Please can someone share some things to make me feel better!