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Fantisizing about another man

3 replies

Hannie31 · 28/07/2025 11:42

Hi. Just wanted to talk it out to be honest. I’ve been with my partner for 8.5 years. Around a year ago one of my closest friends passed away suddenly. After the funeral, me and some friends went to the local pub. As always we chat to everyone and I was obviously grieving and trying to stay upbeat. A guy kept walking past and was very smiley ( I knew his friend) and he came over and chat to us, innocent chat you know.. turned out one of his best mates had died recently too. So we got chatting and he stayed with me and my friend for a while. Now I don’t know what it was about him but something made me just want to chat to him all night. About his kid, my kids and life in general. Anyway that was that and we just added each other on instagram. I saw him again once while I was out with my partner and again we chatted innocently, even with him.. But after that I haven’t seen him out again and each time I go out I’m hoping that I do. I think about him a lot, and it’s not even because of his looks ( he’s not my type) but his personality and the way I’ve seen him with his daughter online just makes me like him. He’s asked recently if the girls wanted to have a meet in the park together (6&7 years) and I’ve agreed to it but feel slightly guilty ( my partner).
my head is so confused, I don’t overly know him or find him attractive looks wise but I just really really feel drawn to him. I don’t really know what’s going on. Recently I’ve started thinking about him sexually too?? What is wrong with me?!!! Is this just a weird phase? What does it mean?

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 28/07/2025 15:45

It's means..you need to delete him from your instagram, and block. No good can come from this. Whilst you're confused about the whys..consider this. If your partner of 8 years had these feelings for someone else, how would you feel and what would you expect him to do?? Exactly. So stop.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 28/07/2025 15:46

Stay well away. Cancel the park meet up and delete him off social media. Otherwise you're risking destroying your family.

CloudyIvy55 · 28/07/2025 16:08

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with you! Your going to get responses on here from people who want to make you feel bad, you've done nothing wrong...yet!

Do they really think that people in long term relationships NEVER find another human being attractive!?!? It's normal and it happens.

However, this is most likely a little crush and you should not meet up with him if your feeling the way you feel. Give it time. It will pass. Plan something fun with your partner and remind yourself what you've got x

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