What age did teens stop going on days out?

[Onemoret1me]

My DD15 is starting to not want to come on family days out with us. Up until very recently she’s always been up for coming to places whether that be a zoo, farm, theme park etc with us and her you get sister

what age did your teens stop wanting to come on days out?

I just feel a bit sad that she’s left behind. Obviously that’s her choice and she does other things with friends and would come on a shopping trip for example.

she also asked to stay home when we went for a weekend away. I’ve said I won’t consider her staying alone all night for at least another year.

I think that's pretty normal OP. Certainly mine stopped coming to zoos and farms well before 15, although they'd have still been tempted by a theme park (if you mean rollercoasters etc).

Mine didn't ever stop, but it wouldn't have occurred to me to take her to a farm or a zoo at 15. Are you involving her in decisions about what to do, or is she just refusing to spend any time with you at all?

It's very normal at that age to want to spend more time with friends, but that doesn't mean that family time is necessarily out of the window. Maybe find something that she would really want to do?

I lost interest in family days out from about 12-13 unless there was something in it for me - I was quite easily bribed with food 😂

That's about right. My 16 year old isn't interested in them either now. Rather do stuff with his mates instead. I don't mind, as he has a little job now and he can organise it himself. It's like I'm losing a child but also glad he's able to be independent.

My teen and young adult kids still come on days out with us if they’ve not got anything else planned. From when they were about 13, they could choose not to come if they wanted though, but mostly they still wanted to join us, as long as it wasn’t too much of an early start.

How big an age gap? I only have 20 months between mine so we still did days or as they were suitable for all. Now young adults and still do occasionally.

My three are pretty close in age (15,17,19) and I wouldn't plan a day out if it wasn't something they would be interested in (and I'd ask them first before planning!). They enjoy spending time together and I don't think we've ever had one of them not want to come to a day out. I guess it could be different if you have a big age gap and you plan something that is suitable for the younger child/children but not the teen.

We still do days out with my 18yo, but they've been older day trips since she was about 13, and it's her younger sibling who has had to catch up and tag along to older kids things. We still do theme parks, plus immersive experiences, shopping trips, art exhibitions, theatre trips, city breaks, lunches out, climbing, watersports. Stuff that any adult might like to do.

My son is 15 and refuses to go for days out, he's our youngest so if he doesn't want to go, we don't bother. He will however go to the park, zoo, local farm if we're bringing our 2 year old grand daughter because he is her favourite person.

My 14 and 12 year old come out on about 50% of days out now. The 14yo has a Saturday job so he has now learned that work sometimes gets in the way of fun. The 12yo likes to ha g our with his girlfriend and best mate although they sometimes come with us sometimes if the eldest hasn't come out (7 seater so usually have spare seats!)

I have a 3 year age gap and my eldest (nearly 20) still comes on days or weekends away and holidays. We have made them more teen friendly for about the past 6 years - family trip to cinema, beach trip and walk, car shows, boat trip etc.

I was 13 when I started 'pushing back' IYSWIM but it was another year before I got away with opting out. I was still stuck with family holidays for a further two years and I'd already had it with those!

My two are close in age (less than 2 years) so we stopped going to farms and zoos etc for both of them around the same time, they are 19 and 21 now and still come on other days out, cinema, theatre, sports, immersive experiences, meals out, NT places and castles etc (both like history and one is very keen on gardening). But we don't do all of these things all together, often it is just one parent and child and the others are doing other things, they both did different sports at weekends and both had weekend jobs on and off so it became hard to schedule anything for all 4 of us from early to mid teens in any case.

What age are your other DC? As ours got older we did less days out but they were usually teen friendly (activity with food) but ours are all very close in age.

Oldest, c17 still comes out sometimes but they have to be prebooked in advance! It started when they are about 14 when they started to, naturally, prefer being with friends.

My 15 year old is less keen to come on days out where it’s just me and her little sister (they don’t get on)depending what it is but if any wider family members are coming she will still jump at the chance

Youngest child is 7. I’ve asked the eldest to choose where we go but she’s really not interested. Even things like cinema, theatre etc she turns down.
like a pp has said though, she’ll jump at the chance to come if we’re with friends with young children or her youngest cousin as she’s great with little kids and likes to look after them on days out.
she’s just not interested in days out if it’s just us parents and younger sibling

I guess I need to start accepting that she’s growing up. I just feel bad that she’s missing out. Not that she even cares!

My 16 year olds come on day trips with us. We do zoos, stately homes, steam engines, theme parks, shopping, spa days, cultural sites, music festivals, craft/hobby workshops, etc. but I can’t see them wanting to do it with a 7 year old except once in a blue moon.

Have you tried doing 1:1 trips where one of you takes teen DD and other takes the other kids (swap over so it’s not always the same parent/kid combo)? Is it that she finds you all boring(?) or is it the younger sibling(s)?

I remember ruining a family day out to a stately home when I was 13 with my stroppy attitude and was never invited on another! My eldest is 15 and will still come on a day out, although we don't do them as often these days. She would prefer a theme park to a stately home but would probably still come. She is autistic and quite young for her age so might be different to other teens.

There was a point when I looked around on a holiday trip out as a family and realised my children were so much older than those with all the other parents in the room. I felt like I shouldn't expect them to want to carry on with days out and realised they likely felt they couldn't opt out. I changed my expectation as I felt it was right for them.

IME, early to mid-teens is the peak time for not wanting to do family days out. DS (16) isn’t very interested unless it’s something that he particularly wants to do. He’d much prefer to do something with his mates.

But, DD (20) seems to have moved through that stage now and is more enthusiastic about hanging out with the family. So things will change.

I have a 7 year gap between my children so often days out are not going to interest my older child, so she stopped coming on those last year, when she was 13. Ones that do interest her (we went to an amethyst mine this year, both of them loved that) she does come on, and I also do days out just with her doing things that interest her to balance it out (usually shopping sigh)

I think pp is in to something, I reckon it’s more not wanting to be on a day out with younger sibling. Eldest is autistic and I would say she’s quite young for her age. Sibling I think is undiagnosed adhd so they clash massively!
we need to be better at offering 1:1 time with eldest.