So this is how I'm feeling at 50...

[HullaBulla]

Really anxious, can't relax, feel irritated a lot of the time, people who I used to tolerate annoy me now, used to be a people pleaser but not any more, don't enjoy gatherings where there's lots of people and noise, just want to be alone a lot and read my book or walk my dog.

I'm single, no children, so have always enjoyed my own company but crave it even more now.

I've the coil a couple of years. I don't know if this could be perimenopause or just cranky and less tolerant in old age?

Perimenopause, I’d guess. I have two adorable teenage kids, a husband I love dearly, and generally I’m a very sociable person with loads of friends - and I feel exactly like you do 🙄. The only people whose company I enjoy just now is similarly pissed off, cynical women of our age - misery loves company.

I also have lots of friends and with a lot of them I'm the first to make arrangements usually, and often wondered if I didn't make contact first, would they not bother, and because I've not being feeling too sociable recently, I haven't heard from 2 of them.

You sound very similar to me, OP. I am late 50s,

I have never liked big gatherings or noise. I like being in nature.

I definitely also have people pleasing tendencies.

I spent a couple of years or so in my early to mid 50d on anti-anxiety medication and having counselling. That helped somewhat.

Mid-fifties, I was diagnosed with autism. A couple of months ago, to my huge surprise, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I'm now on ADHD medication and that is amazing how much it reduces the anxiety.

I didn't think I had any of the traits of ADHD until I did a screener questionnaire.

Obviously, I could be barking up the wrong tree and what are experiencing could easily be peri/menopause symptoms.

And please nobody jump on me for mentioning neurodivergence. 1 in 25 of the population are thought to have ADHD and many of them don't have a clue. I didn't.

HRT might help?