Why did he do this? (TW - unsolicited male contact)

[feckingcrunchies]

My friend’s ex. He’s now married to someone else.

We all worked on the same hospital ward for 3 years, 10 years ago.

I put a photo on Facebook this week. I’ve lost a lot of weight lately.

He messaged me, sent a screenshot and said well done. I thought he was being kind, I replied thanks, we chatted a bit and I said did he fancy a coffee.

He kept sending kisses. Winking faces. Hearts.

I didn’t say no but I didn’t say yes, I hardly replied as I was so uncomfortable.

He then sent a topless photo and said he couldn’t sleep. I didn’t reply.

Two days later - yesterday - he sent me a message saying he was lying on the sofa in his pants.

Photo.

Then another zoomed in photo.

And he asked me to take my own jeans off, and send him photos of me. I didn’t, I won’t.

I’ve blocked him. But we have dozens of mutual friends. We worked together. I helped him when a patient died.

He cared for my MUM when she was admitted to that same ward terminally ill. He knows my story. He knows I had a nervous breakdown when that happened. He knows I’m neurodivergent. I’m a full time professional but socially I function a bit younger than I am and I really struggle with relationships and sex.

Why did he have to send those photos?

I feel so dirty and ashamed and embarrassed, I’ve spent the last 24 hours trying to block it out.

Initially I felt flattered almost that someone found me attractive for once but I didn’t want this. I didn’t block him at first because I thought maybe he was just drunk and he’d apologise. But I didn’t feel safe.

I don’t know what to do with it. I’m so worried he was turned on all along. He’s seen me crying in meetings about mum, seen me on FaceTime in my pyjamas to mum.

What do I do? No one in real life will realise how upset I am.

He's phishing. Block, ignore. He might have a list he is working through. Or name/shame amongst your friends. Your choice. Only way toake him stop is to out him. His behaviour will escalate so a sharp shock might be what he needs

I think if I named and shamed I wouldn’t be believed… he’s a big guy but he always comes across as being harmless. He said he’s a shameless flirt, but I think there’s a line between flirting and this, I think.

He can fuck off. I'd screenshot the lot and publish it on my page so everyone could see what he's like. I appreciate you might not want to do that.

These men thrive on our embarrassment. But we (YOU) have nothing to be embarrassed about. You did nothing wrong.

I'd be inclined to report that sort of thing to the police. He is clearly a predatory sex pest, and you won't be the only person he's doing this to.

i thought about that but I don’t know if they can do much, it was covered up, it was just zoomed into the ‘area’ if you get me.

I get you but it's still icky

I wouldn’t overthink it, he’s a sleazy man who thinks this is “flirting”. Block him and forget about it.

Creepy.. block and forget the maggot

You shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. This is quite common from (some) men unfortunately. Just block him x

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, HE is the one who should be thoroughly ashamed of himself, he’s a pest. Block and never unblock him. I’m sorry he’s made you feel this way.

Well done on the weightloss, btw!