Millionaire£ at 23, self made. Feel lost.

[Jonesqua]

I became a millionaire£ at 23.

All happened between 20-23.

Self made, have 3 buy to let houses with 300k£ equity in them rented out. With 750k£ liquid money.

The change happened so fast. All of my friends have regular income , it’s sometimes hard to do things I want to do as income difference.

I am use to making money so quickly that essentially I feel as if I’ve lost touch over it. As no one around me friend wise can relate or I speak with about it. Does anyone else feel like this in a similar situation?

I’ve lost motivation. Feel disconnected from the people around me who I grew up with.

You don't believe in helping people?
Not everything is about giving away money, you could support a charity and do some good work helping people that way.

I also find you signing off posts as: self made, music, male... as very weird!

I avoided it on purpose to not reveal too much but yes

Please tell me why using them words is weird.

its to give people an understanding.

Are you still in a relationship? Has this got anything to do with your apathy?

I know you don’t believe in therapy but you are an ideal candidate for it.

I would start there with a therapist who has experience working with similar profiles to yours.

You don’t want to live your life feeling like this.

Having seen a few of your replies, I think I’d advise you to focus first on 1) [see my post upthread] ignore the money (ruder version: get over yourself). It’s normal when you hit a wealth milestone to over-focus on it, but it’s not healthy. What are you doing in life? Just keep doing that, and being a good person, and keep on keeping on.

There will be plenty of time to worry about private jets when you reach some higher milestone.

I wouldn’t judge anyone too much at any wealth level for their consumption choices, but I will say that in my circles where more than a few are 8-figure wealthy I don’t think I know anyone who travels by private jet. That tends to come at nine or ten figures.

I’d also say it’s not that healthy to think primarily in terms of wealth. One of the things that happens as you get richer is you get into the outer orbit of the even-richer. I think I’m friend-of-friend with the world’s richest person two different ways. Financially speaking I am a worm to them. Financially speaking you are a worm to me. Financially speaking is corrosive. Just get on with life. My main worries are if my child is doing well, if I’m good enough, if I should be continuing my normal commuter life on the Northern Line or if I should be doing something more worthwhile for others with the opportunity I have.

This will come with time to you I think. Don’t feel belittled and don’t feel special. Keep working, and look to how you can do some good and stay sane. Don’t overthink it.

You need to get your values in life in order. What values are important to you? What life are you working towards?

Really recommend doing something like the Rebel Finance School. It's entirely free.

There is a community of other people who are FIRE or working toward FIRE.

I get it OP... the disconnect.
Just like the disconnect you have with your nonsense posts... I mean, you want to spend your money on holidays and fancy clothes, but you also can't stand to spend money unless it's on making more money. You're not immature enough to buy a Lambo, but you want to go and buy a fancy car. Your friends have already started hinting at you paying for things, but none of your friends know about your money. Your friends don't know about your money, but they are also jealous of your money. You feel disconnected from your friends, but according to your friends, you're still the same 'average' person. You have written about your £, but also your $. You have 750 somethings in the bank, but want to fly on a private jet to go on spontaneous holidays.

And you googled for advice for a 23yo SELF MADE millionaire male in music production feeling different to his povo friends, and came up with Mumsnet. LOL.

Yeah there's definitely a disconnect of a kind here.

😂 exactly!

This thread is pretty wild!!

My friends tend to fall into 3 groups

• 'growing up' friends (people I 'grew up' with - mainly uni, who all now have different kinds of lives from millionaires to breadline, but we're tied by friendship - some drop off along the way but I still have my core),
• work friends (people who have a shared love of my industry and are in a similar set up financially)
• community friends (hobbies, village life etc - people who generally I don't have too much in common with but we enjoy doing a specific thing together).

I'd suggest if you're struggling with your 'growing up' friends I think you need to foster work friends as it seems you are not community minded. That means not only those you work with but wider connections in the industry etc. You won't be alone being young and successful there.

Your situation is rare but I also think you're - apologies - you are making a bigger deal of it than it is. You're not able to live a totally millionaire lifestyle (yet!) so you're not so far off 'reality' as you might think. Many many people have money young, it's perhaps just you don't know them (not all of them self made for sure).

Also, mumsnet, by the name, is for everyone but mainly for people who are ... mums. So yeah, not sure what you expected there! Maybe try reddit next time!

My final thing: I really think you need to think about your attitude to giving!! I have no idea why you are so against it but you might find your connection with 'reality' is restored if you aren't quite so selfish, as this is the biggest thing I find different about you compared with anyone else I know.

I can see where the OP is coming from. If she’s 23 then she’s still relatively young. It can be hard at that age especially if you don’t have much support. Money isn’t always the answer. If she’s self made, self employed she won’t have connections through work with people who are on a similar level.

If you were my friend and wanted advice I’d suggest doing something meaningful. Not necessarily giving money but doing something for others on a regular basis. Join a church group, volunteer with children, do something with the elderly. Anything that isn’t about how much money you have and what you want to buy next.

If that isn’t for you try doing something professionally where you can meet like minded people.

If your current friendships aren’t fulfilling then don’t put as much time into them.

I'm pretty sure it's your attitude that's the problem, not the money.
I don't have much money myself, and I struggle to do anything "fun", yet you're here moaning that you can't do anything fun because nobody can relate to you and friends can't afford your lifestyle? Oh boohoo.
Get out there and live your life. Travel (solo), around the UK or abroad. Treat yourself, experience things that most of us will never get to. You don't need other people to do any of that. However, if you feel like you need other people, then treat your friends. They wouldn't be using you, because it would be your choice when and if to treat them.
Of course most people can't relate to you, you're not living in reality or the real world like us.

Frankly you probably need to get new friends and socialise in different circles.

you also need a reality check because your crowing that your a millionaire but that amount of money isn’t a lot to last you. It could all be lost tomorrow. My point is don’t be too disheartened that your friends can’t do this and that.

Yes, you’ve lost touch. I’m skipping meals and wearing charity shop clothes and you’re complaining about being a millionaire. Go get yourself some millionaire friends so you don’t have to feel bad

Apologies if this has been discussed, but OP what job do you do- is it well paid? how did you raise deposit money and mortgage?

At 23 you must be well paid. you say you are "self made" what does that mean?

How many times has the OP said he is male?

I work in music.

self made, no handouts no inherited money no help

money I made allowed me to buy 1 house per year with investments

Read the OPs replies. It's all there, many many times.

@Jonesqua How about kicking back and doing nothing for a few months or so? And consider taking to someone who works with the 'suddenly rich' to get ideas about what to do next.

Have you been able to speak to any of your friends about the way you're feeling or do you think they'd struggle to understand?

🤣🤣🤣

He has ignored my questions about relationships with friends and parents.

Did you read the same OP's posts, they were quite dismissive of using money to do any good and are suspicious of their friends talking them for granted.

My friends would not understand.

id most likely get the same replies as here haha

It’s wonderful you think a private jet costs £15k 😂
I will take ‘Things that aren’t real’ for ten Bob.
Also, a million doesn’t get you far, you’re not that rich

👏👏👏