Millionaire£ at 23, self made. Feel lost.

[Jonesqua]

I became a millionaire£ at 23.

All happened between 20-23.

Self made, have 3 buy to let houses with 300k£ equity in them rented out. With 750k£ liquid money.

The change happened so fast. All of my friends have regular income , it’s sometimes hard to do things I want to do as income difference.

I am use to making money so quickly that essentially I feel as if I’ve lost touch over it. As no one around me friend wise can relate or I speak with about it. Does anyone else feel like this in a similar situation?

I’ve lost motivation. Feel disconnected from the people around me who I grew up with.

You are deliberately misunderstanding people here and ignored my earlier posts that actually tried to take you seriously. Someone earning an average income does not make them an “average person,” nor does earning a below average income make them a a “below average person,” and earning a lot of money doesn’t make someone an “above average person.”

I always thought someone’s “value” comes from their character and behaviour - trustworthiness, thoughtfulness, humour, diligence, compassion, conscientiousness, honesty, etc.

Have you considered why you equate someone’s worth to their income? Why are you friends with these people who you don’t even seem to respect? Who or what do you respect, admire and love?

What about the people inside? You sound as if they are inconsequential to your ‘investment’.

I agree you do sound disconnected. But more than by money. Might be worth doing some work around empathy.

“TwoUnderTwitTwoo · Today 12:06

If this is even real, then judging by your posts, communication style and opinions of others then I don’t think the lack of connection you describe is due to money. You come across as brittle, defensive, arrogant, and intransigent. You also haven’t described your friends or why you like them - have they supported and cheered you on through the times in your personal or business life? Do you laugh together? Do you have any family members who you love?”

This. It sounds like you’ve done very well career-wise so far and invested sensibly. That’s great - good for you and congratulations.

But, based on your abrupt, arrogant and dismissive replies on here and assuming you’re similar in real life, then your manner may well be putting a distance between you and your friends.

In any case, as a PP suggested, you may need 2 groups of friends: the wealthy ones who can split the cost of a private jet and another group with whom you can hang out in a more lowkey way.

Also one PP suggested volunteering. I think getting committed to something bigger than yourself is a very grounding experience and can help you connect with people.

Are you well educated? You might find it fulfilling to go to university and meet some new people.

Forget about the money. It really doesn't matter. Other people aren't thinking about it all the time, they are absorbed in their own lives.

DH and i have a lot and have had phases where we've had much more disposable than friends. Just do a mix of enjoying the things you want to (perhaps without friends if they can't afford) and finding pleasure in doing simpler things with friends.

It’s not that you’re saying, it’s more the way you’re saying it. Tone is everything.

I can believe that suddenly finding yourself with a lot of money, at a young age, when you haven't come from a wealthy background, could leave you feeling a 'different' from your friends and others around you.

I struggle with believing a 23 year old, male, millionaire, music producer, who is possibly not British (judging from lots of odd things in the way you write), deciding that mumsnet is the best place to ask people what to do about this problem though. That's pushing things too far

You stated that you don't like to spend money (unless it will make you money) so there is no problem that your friends have less money than you as you wouldn't want to spend more anyway! Just go on the cheap holidays with them.

Also, specifically step by step, how did you raise enough cash for a deposit and earn enough to be accepted for a mortgage, by the age of 20?

If it was the other way around and you were destitute and struggeling to fit in you wouldn't get so many heartless replies. A lot on mumsnet are cruel and are here because they can be cruel anonymously.

It sounds like you are lonely, struggelingto fit in.

My advice is to start with your interests. What are you interested in, what brings you joy, makes you happy.. look for hoobies/groups etc within your community & beyond to meet like minded people. From there, you may build new friendships with people who are similar to yourself.

The people are renting a house, just like someone rents a car.

its an investment, theres nothing personal about it. Its a service .

And agree with pp - check your tone. I get the impression you think people should be rather impressed by your accumulating money at a relatively young age. People generally won't be, and if you bring it up a lot to elicit a reaction, you are likely to be perceived as arrogant or lacking empathy. Don't confuse it as jealousy, it isn't - people simply aren't interested in your finances.

Yes I think it’s a school holiday weekend and OP isn’t in a holiday club today. It’s such a funny thread though, I can’t help myself.

Poor fucking you

My friends do not cheer me on as they don’t know.

i also feel jealousy sometimes as they know some but not all, they think im worth less than half of what ive said here.

They’re my friends since very young .

Can you say how much approx you have? I’ve said before that if I won a huge lottery rollover I would probably panic and feel sick but if I won a more manageable amount I’d hopefully enjoy it.

I think you would be better off, as some posters have said, in giving yourself a normal allowance (stipend) and investing the rest for your future (and basically ‘forget’ about it). Just live as though the allowance was your salary and live within that (not a massive salary!!).

@Jonesqua

Do you actually do anything to help others less fortunate than you? After all, it boils down to the fact you had a lucky break (right place right time) and others are less fortunate than you

You have brusquely said you don't give handouts, maybe you should rethink that. My children (older than you) give of their time and their money to help others when they can. One tutors disadvantaged kids who are trying to get their GCSE's in the basics. These kids are so poor they don't even own a laptop or iPad and have to rely on rellies to lend them one for the tutoring sessions. However, when my DD gets them through a Maths GCSE, the feel good factor is beyond money.

You need to start thinking of others and stop whinging about having too much money for your friends, otherwise you might find you have no friends soon....

You need a major reset of your life. If you are late 20s, now is the time. You just need to grow up somewhat.

Maybe your friends are secret millionaires too, but like you don't want to say too much 😏

I am British but I’ve spoken with Americans since young. Many other people daily across the world

Well I think that's the problem. Money is controlling you.
I am unable to offer advice but I think professional counselling will help

But you must have started out with considerable (for a very young person) amounts of cash to invest - so where did those amounts come from? Inheritance? Gifts from rich parents?

6th time.

music production. Houses are investments.

This thread is a solid argument for tax rate reform!

I was similar (a couple of years behind you) and passed £10m ish in early 40s.

There are so many perspectives you can take. The trick is to find one that works for you that allows you to put this overthinking behind you.

Everyone needs purpose. There seem to be two main approaches:

1. Ignore the money side. Lots of people (lawyers, consultants, doctors, businesspeople) are £1m+ (about 4% of the UK). Focus on what you want to do. Realise that what you think of as rich is someone else's table-stakes and get back to focusing on the thing, whatever that is. Does it really matter that you are richer, or poorer, than your friends? Find purpose through meaningful achievements. They don't need to be 'grand' achievements worthy of a prodigy either. Just good, honest, solid achievements in work and relationships and life. The rude version of this would be 'get over yourself' but the kind version is, your perspective will adapt and you are not defined by your wealth. Carry on, and be good, like everyone should.

2. Embrace the money side. You can do so much good in the world with your money, and your ability to make money. Maximize your income, maximise your giving. Focus on how to do the most good. If you are a 'head' person, there are plenty of resources available to assess the most cost-effective ways to maximise the good you can do in the world with your money. If you are a 'heart' person, what problems do you want to fix in the world, and how can you do them? Get started.

Getting started is the thing. As you start to do the sort of things you feel you should be doing, you will meet others along the way and opportunities will come to you. The worst thing you can do is to sit there and ruminate, much as it's natural to do so. Good luck, stay normal, and do good!

Hoard it then 🤷‍♂️

you don’t want to help less fortunate, you don’t want to pay for your friends. My advice is become bitter, miserable and paranoid, but console yourself with the fact you’ll have more money than you’ll ever know what to do with - and its there for a rainy day.

or live a little.

What work did you do before you were 20 that enabled you to get a deposit together and buy your first house?

I bet you had parental back-up.

Shame your English isn't as good as your ability to make money.

If someone decides to ‘sell’ your car that’s inconvenient but does not cause harm.
Selling a house can to the people who live there.

Treating people as part of a business plan where the ‘service’ is their home is morally bankrupt.