Millionaire£ at 23, self made. Feel lost.

[Jonesqua]

I became a millionaire£ at 23.

All happened between 20-23.

Self made, have 3 buy to let houses with 300k£ equity in them rented out. With 750k£ liquid money.

The change happened so fast. All of my friends have regular income , it’s sometimes hard to do things I want to do as income difference.

I am use to making money so quickly that essentially I feel as if I’ve lost touch over it. As no one around me friend wise can relate or I speak with about it. Does anyone else feel like this in a similar situation?

I’ve lost motivation. Feel disconnected from the people around me who I grew up with.

So what is happening here is you are being inauthentic.

You are lying to protect their feelings, and to possibly save your relationships.

This sort of deception erodes your own self worth, as you start to mentally link your success to deceit, and emotionally tie your money to that rotten feeling of being a liar. No wonder it’s not bringing you joy.

No one wants to be this kind of person. I imagine it’s even harder if you are ASD.

You need to be honest with people. Slowly if need be. And you may lose people, or find some try to rinse you and emotionally manipulate you, but with your parents’ support I think you will feel a weight come off your shoulders.

I didn’t know that sorry. I just came across here via Google.

Maybe charge less rent or sell your houses?

Being a private landlord is exploitative as it treats people as commodities. Having access to a home should be a human right not part of someone’s business plan.

Bless your little cotton socks. Enjoy the rest of your holiday, good luck with the exam results.

Also, and this goes generally, watch Better Man.

The houses are just investments

Wish I had this problem

So you feel disconnected from reality? That's because you are. Oh, and by the way, you can't cash in that money without having to pay tax on it. You are paying tax, I presume?

To you maybe. But they are homes. Please treat them as such.

The problem is disconnect from real life and average people

I get it, you're too rich for your old friends, and too poor for the rich friends.

You can afford a one off PJ, but not $40k on bottle shows every weekend.

My advice:

1. Get a personal wealth advisor. But be careful which, you are not a HNW individual, so go for someone who focuses on early wealth.

1. Stop thinking about money. It's boring. The trick to being sustainably rich is not to see money as something you have to save (read into Scarcity Mindset, it's one thing that stops people becoming truly wealthy).

I really agree with this. Do something altruistic and stop being a private landlord.

OP I know someone who made a lot of money quickly in his twenties. He doesn’t come from a wealthy background at all, he is very clever though.
He bought a couple of houses, one to live in and one for a friend to live in. He did buy an expensive car, and some expensive bits of tech, but apart from that he isn’t very different from his peers. He spends time with the same people.
I also have a lifelong friend who, due to the tragic loss of both parents , inherited the family house and a large amount of savings at 21. I don’t think it made any difference between us, she would often insist on paying for meals out, and she bought generous birthday presents, but our friendship wasn’t altered. As your peer group gets older, more people will also start to own houses, and some will inherit more money than others. It will all be far less of an issue as you get into your thirties.
In your place I would do something sensible with the large amount of cash you have and essentially “forget” about it, eg not factor it in to your daily life. If you want to travel and friends can’t afford it, then go alone, along with doing the sort of stuff with your old friends that they are all doing.

You still live at home. You can't possibly be that disconnected.

It painful, every single second of the day from awake till sleep is money money.

if I feel like I’ve had a bad week or month, my attitude changes to everyone.

It sadly controls my whole mind.

I think that you equate money with success. That’s fine if that’s what you believe, but amassing the money you do have, doesn’t seem to have made you happy.

If you are in the music business, is that likely to be a career that’s finite, in which case, why not save money for when times are lean? If you think this career will have longevity, pay forward to benefit others, who aren’t likely to ever be in the position you’re in.

750k does sound like plenty of money, but probably isn’t long term, so you have to keep making money.

You could allow yourself roughly the amount of money your friends have to spend each month and save the rest, or invest in a business, or give to charity, or buy a piece of equipment for a hospital, or sponsor children abroad, or any number of things.

Replying quite brusquely to posters isn’t the way to go.

Except for going away and doing spontaneous things, apparently.

What my friends make in a year is less than I make in a month.

im sorry how bad that sounds but its to give you my POV.

on how different situations are

All of this, exactly.

What did you do with your friends before you had money?

Maybe try that? Because they can presumably afford that.

I suspect the disconnect comes from you thinking of yourself differently and behaving differently. Because your situation is the thing that's different

Most people at 23 won't have the ability to spend as they please. You will have to accept this. The money should buy u freedom. Is there something you would like to do? Any particular job or volunteering? As u don't have to worry about money it could be something that is not particularly lucrative but would bring lots of satisfaction.

Being defensive and giving barbed responses won't do you any favours here. It will put people off giving you constructive advice.

Are the people you grew up with good genuine friends? Do you want to maintain the friendships?

You are average OP Your not better than anyone else because you have money. You know that right? Your so average, it's painful. Because anyone not average would be living their life to the fullest, giving to charity, making peoples lives better, enjoying it with their friends, treating friends and family and enjoying every second. You are not special. I bet your friends on 30k are more interesting than you.

We are older but have also been very successful in business...reaching millions, with property in millions . We have friends still from when we were struggling and we just make sure we don't do excessive socialising when we are with them, we also have very wealthy friends who we splurge with and can be honest about our holidays etc. Keep you original friends but maybe seek out friends who are in the same financial bracket as you. I love all my friends and wouldn't be without any of them.
Also be proud but not boastful about your achievements at 23 that's quite an amazing thing

Yes, but you still live with your mum. Your life isn't all that different. Get some independence before spouting off about how disconnected you are. Disconnected from what? Your childhood friends and your bunkbed? Yeah that happens, millionaire or not. It's called growing up.