Sleep in your 40's

[TiredDub]

OK gorgeous people, can we talk about sleep?. I was awake until 3:30 this morning and this has been a thing for weeks. Every night I’m awake til 2, 3 or even 4 in the morning and lads - it’s absolutely zero craic. I’m not stressed (well no more than usual) and it’s nothing medical - have checked in wth my GP and we’ve tried everything - loads of meds which should send me to sleep but nothing seems to be working.

Other things I’ve tried:

Mindfulness

Meditation

Gratitude

Journalling

Getting sunlight in the morning (I go running)

No devices / TV in my bedroom

No blue light an hour before I go to bed

Getting up after I can't sleep and doing calming tasks like folding clean washing (there’s always washing) or watching old episodes of things I’ve seen a million times like Sex And The City. Sidebar - can we talk about how the best couple is actually Charlotte and Harry? Also - can we all agree that Carrie was a terrible friend? I’m also spending a lot of time talking to the cat.
Cutting out caffeine - I lasted 3 days and thought I was going to die
Watching my caffeine intake - I’m down to 2 cups of tea and a diet Coke a day - and I don’t have caffeine after 7 pm.

Headspace app

I’ve completely reorgansied my bedroom so it’s as zen as fuck.

Writing down action plans/things I need to do/remember for the next day

Melatonin patches and gummies - they made me tired but didn’t help me sleep. I was super tired but wide awake if that makes sense.

Valerian patches - no effect other than when I actually fell asleep at 3 am, I had really weird dreams. I dreamt that I lived in a mansion and I had bats in my kitchen. Dream me is clearly living my best life (apart from the bats).

Magnesium supplements and sprays - had absolutely no effect I even bought the super fancy ones all over insta at the moment - the YLW ones that are bright yellow - they didn’t work and I absolutely don’t look well either. Sidebar - the free night cream that comes with it burns.

Listening to podcasts - this used to work.

Does anyone have any advice at all? I’m not sleeping in the day or having naps.. Oh and I’ve tried calamine tea but it tasted like sadness and didn’t help with the whole sleep situation. Thanks so much if you’ve made it this far xx

Anyone?

If peri menopause are you on HRT? I have some spells like this and magnesium is helping me and/or herbal nylon before bed.

Sorry, this is pedantic, and I really hate pedantry, but I laughed out loud at calamine tea tasting of sadness. 😂
Have you tried Camomile tea?

To add, I asked my insomniac DH for tips, and he said if you've tried everything else, the most important thing to remember is not to get too wound up, accept that you have issues and try to relax. Sorry, that doesn't sound too helpful, does it. I'd be on the wines myself.

Not on HRT yet. GP says I’m not in menopause yet. I think I absolutely could be in the peri stages though because I’m 46 and knackered. Went to him with a whole list of symptoms, the insomnia, anxiety, brain fog but felt really dismissed. He said I could go back in 3 months if things were no better.

have just restarted magnesium supplements so will see if they help

Can you tell I was a bit tired when I posted? 😂

maybe it’s time to rebut the tea

Agree - HRT fixed this for me. See another GP, if it’s suitable for you you’ll be sleeping like a log within weeks

Forgot to say, started HRT at 44

Perimenopause for sure. HRT will sort you out!

The progesterone element of HRT does help with sleep and I think would move that caffeine cut off to much earlier in the day (mine is 12pm). If I am struggling I go to old audiobooks where I am not terribly invested in the story any more (weirdly, Matthew Perry’s autobiography on Spotify kept me going for ages). Are you getting up the same time every morning irrespective, is your bedroom cool enough?

I can see the temptation in wine but it is terrible for sleep and you will just end up sleep deprived and hungover which is ten times worse

Go and see another doctor and say that you want to try HRT. Don't beat around the bush, just list your symptoms and say what you want. Hopefully, that will sort it. You should cut out caffeine from lunchtime though, not 7pm, that's far too late and would disturb a lot of people's sleep. In terms of quitting caffeine too it took me a week. I felt like hell for a that week, but after it I was absolutely fine.

I take zopiclone when I’m really struggling but try not too more than once a week.
daily I take taurine
sleep spray on pillow
no caffeine after 12
stay up as late as I dare - 5 hours sleep is better than none

Im on HRT but made no difference
Ive been struggling weekly since January and it’s hard going. I was awake 40 hours two weeks ago which I can confirm was not pleasant

Op no help but just solidarity. I tried magnesium, ready for deep amazing sleep and two months later still nothing. I Power Nap between one and 3 and 5 and 6:( Back to looking at phones at night for a break from the wishing I were asleep!!

Thank you lovely. Just on hold with my GP to get an appointment

Love that!

moving the cut off is a shout. Bedroom is cool and don’t worry lovely _ this tiredness and being hungover would be the stuff of actual nightmares so will resist the wine.

Really annoys me those GPs that push back on HRT. I had one appointment and had the HRT in my hands 48 hours later when I was 44/45.

Christ that sounds like the stuff of nightmares. I’m so sorry lovely x

Why are some GPs so slack with prescribing HRT to women over 45? I went at 46, immediately prescribed, sleep like a baby now. I would ask for a different GP? Sounds like everything else you are doing is great, but I'd maybe stop caffeine earlier in the day if you can, might be worth a go.

Sleep is about habit so most you need to give most things a good couple of weeks to kick in. If you're interested in supplements ashwagandha might be worth a look. Nutrition Geeks do one about 5x stronger than most.

Yes, I had very similar at the onset of peri. My GP also said that I was "too young" for it to be peri (43) when I first went, so I did a journal/list of symptoms before going back.

In the meantime, I had a bit of success taking probiotics with a few Lactobacillus strains that had been shown to help sleep. Combined with the melatonin gummies (although like you, they don't always work - if I take them too soon before going to bed the effect will have passed and I still won't drop off), I got a decent stretch of sleep (i.e. at least a five-hour stretch). But the HRT really fixed it.

I’ve found melatonin dissolving tablets (5mg) have been amazing for me - I can now be asleep within 20 minutes of taking one! I know you’ve tried patches and gummies, maybe the tablets or a higher dose would be better?

HRT has helped my sleep but it took time and wasn't miraculous. Peri and menopause are the first time I've struggled with sleep for an internal reason rather than be kept awake by babies. Peri and menopause anxiety also contributed to my sleep issues.

I started on the tablet form of HRT in peri and that was less helpful than the separate progesterone capsule at night which my gyne only prescribed once I was actually menopausal (once I'd gone a year without a period). I had seven years of heavy, heavy, flooding irregular periods in peri before full menopause.

Now I sleep well but weirdly I have to avoid sugar (processed sugar) in the evening as trial and error has proven that keeps my mind whirring restlessly and even makes my heart race.

Where are you getting melatonin? I can’t find it in the uk?

and what hrt are you all on. I do one gel pump a morning maybe that needs changing.
another night of zopiclone for me and I feel sluggish and a failure for taking it again so soon after my last one Thursday