How many people actually like children?

[Whitehorses67]

I detest children.

Yes, I know that is a sweeping statement and that, as with adults, children vary but as a group I find them almost universally irritating, selfish and generally unpleasant to be with.

Of course at very young ages selfishness is understandable because understanding of others needs as separate beings is a developmental stage and I excuse that (but still don’t want to be in their company) however so many older children continue in this manner to young adulthood.

This is exacerbated by the modern cult of self which encourages “putting yourself first”, “living your best life”, “being your authentic self” and other bollocky catch phrases.

A generation of wannabe “influencers” and reality tv stars is created whose only aim is money and fame and enjoying themselves.

All very well but who does that leave doing actual important work to maintain society and support others?

Does anyone else admit to not liking children? Or at least only liking your own?

You’re limiting this to children? Adults who think the way you say, are 💯 more fcking infuriating.

Bankers and lawyers also support society by paying taxes, you know. As we have so few net contributors.

Children are just a subset of people in general. Having some weird, rooted dislike of a developmental stage literally every person who has ever lived goes through doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

But I suspect coherent thinking may not be your forte.

I love kids, always have done. Obviously, I liked mine better than other people's, but I've only met a handful of kids who I really didn't like.

I generally find kids funny and cute, and their perspective on the world is often very refreshing. Teenagers are great too, if you take the time to talk to them.

You don't hate them just detest them? Lol. Look up the meaning of the word detest.

Some very odd posts on here recently about hating kids.

I used to be an infant teacher. I found my pupils to be far more caring, insightful and creatively thinking than most adults I encounter. And they loved to show that they have learned and improved; realising, unlike most adults they have so much to learn about life.

Think I probably prefer children to adults, actually.

Yes DS2 is 10 and dislikes the company of children, especially younger ones. He is probably autistic (awaiting diagnosis) like me, and after school club can be a trial for him when there are a lot of younger kids there- the noise and unpredictability disturbs him as much as it did me. It's kind of sweet to see how he bonds with older autistic kids though- he has a good 14 year old friend through Scouts who he can sit and discuss computer games with for hours.

I tend to have a visceral reaction towards unpredictable movement and noise too. So yes, although I bear no ill will towards children- and frequently have to tolerate them- I'd love an exclusion zone!

Young kids can be amusing but many from 10+ can be horribly obnoxious.

At what point, OP, do you suddenly stop blanket disliking younger human beings? You have picked out selfishness as a trait which you believe often continues into young adulthood. So I presume you dislike young adults then? Or certainly many of them. With no grounds other than that they are bound to be selfish due to their age. What is the cut off age where you start to reevaluate them and look at them as individuals?

I don't like all children. I believe that some children who aren't particularly pleasant will grow up to be unpleasant adults. Some unpleasant children will grow into wonderful adults. I know one child who I found particularly challenging to be around, as he came across as rude and defiant and attention seeking. He is now the loveliest, most polite and endearing young man. He's just shy of 18, so going by your way of thinking, I should just assume he's still a pain in the arse and treat him accordingly.

Bit odd to go on a parenting site to say that you detest children?!

Obviously they can be annoying, but I don't believe anyone actually hates children - sounds like a general anger at people, and life.

I detest children too, OP.
Chose not to have them at the age of 13 and 35 years later, it remains the best decision ever made, by myself, for myself.

I chose not to have a dog so I thought I would go on to a dog forum to tell everybody how much I hate dogs! I am sure they are very interested because I am really, really special.

Disclaimer: I actually love dogs.

They’re all so different though! I mostly love them, they’re cute, hilarious and fascinating.

You get a few who haven’t been parented properly but that’s not their fault.

Children and young people are good fun, I like them!

Yawn.
I was actually responding to the OP.
However shocking, there are probably more of us than you think.

I wish you would stop thinking there is anything shocking or pathbreaking about this. Of my 7 or 8 close friends, half are childfree. But they don't make it their personality or string together incoherent agreements.

I don’t detest children I would just rather avoid being around them. They’re noisy and overwhelming and make me feel very overstimulated.

I am not a fan of kids but when I think about it it’s not really about them, they are learning and we all had to do the same. It’s the parenting, or lack of that allows children to behave very differently to how my generation did and it’s my generation that are the crap parents!

I was never allowed to go outside and screech and shout because I was ‘just being a child’ doesn’t mean I was repressed I was taught about having respect for others around me and thinking of others. Noise is part of childhood but the over the top screaming and shouting is unnecessary. I should probably add the unless the child is ND disclaimer because that’s the stock reply to noisy small people.

Responses on MN will generally be skewed becsuse so many people here are deeply misanthropic, anxious, terrified to answer the door and very proud of having no friends. Must be very exhausting to go around hating large demographics who have never done you much harm.

By the way, I volunteer and there are a lot of young people working with me. They make time for it despite working long hours, paying London rents and generally having a hard time.

I don't recognise your claim that all young people are selfish. I am always wary of performative posters who paint themselves as deeply unselfish. Smug!

@Whitehorses67 Something I don't understand OP; you have worked as a nurse with people with learning disabilities. In many ways they are like children : vulnerable. What exactly about children is it you don't like? I dislike some children. Or rather I dislike being around some children because the parents have done/are doing a poor job raising and educating them.

But most children are lovely: they are innocent and vulnerable and just as I feel protective about people with learning disabilities and abandoned kittens I feel loving and protective/maternal towards children.

I am curious about your experience of children because you talk about influencers who are adults, not children. Is it because you never had any and your regret about it has turned into hate against them for existing?

I don't see why people have to be so polarised and extreme about it. Children seem to either be described as revolting, irritating, filthy monsters or adorable bundles of wonderfulness, and people seem to love ranting at whoever holds the opposite view.

Children are just small humans who don't yet have the ability to act like adults. Some of them are pleasant to be around, others not so much. Interacting with children you don't know well can be a bit awkward and difficult if you're not very used to it (especially if you don't have particularly good social skills yourself!). Often the child haters come across as very immature themselves.

I've been a teacher for decades. I'm good with 11-18 year-olds. I've always found small children (other than my own) a bit more effort, but they can be pretty funny!

Detesting children is a ridiculous attitude tbh, and often seems to be worn as a bit of a badge of honour.

Your post is perfectly understandable but I don’t see the connection about the ‘influencers’, which is a teeny tiny segment and they are not children but adults.
I have kids but there are quite a number of children I don’t like, mainly because of their personalities. Plenty of adults I don’t like either. But as a generation I think children are fine. I’m sure 100, 200, 1000 years ago older people were complaining about the youth of their day!

I have to disagree with those who say that the children who are unpleasant to be around are like that because of poor parenting. We are all a combination of nurture and nature. Some children are unpleasant because they have unpleasant personality traits and they will always be like that. But they are young and deserve to be protected and cared for like any other child. I like children in general but that’s not to say I like each one individually. Some children, just like some adults, are very hard to like.

Some adults just aren't very understanding and aren't very good at accepting people who don't follow the expected and unwritten rules of social interaction, which children often don't entirely, even as they get a bit older. I think some of these adults find interaction with children very uncomfortable for this reason, and tend to take an 'attack is the best form of defence ' attitude by saying they hate children and that children are awful.

I completely agree. I've worked with children my whole life. I find them a lot easier to get on with than a lot of the teachers and parents I've worked with. Primary aged children (generally speaking) are more accepting of people with disabilities, don't seem to notice which race people are, enjoy helping others etc etc. They only treat people as 'other' when they see adults doing it.