Lonely

[chocolatemuffin75]

Does anyone who is single feel like this?
what do you do to fill your days? I’m off work this week and truthfully I just want to go back, how sad is that, but at least I get to speak to people there. My child has just moved out and I’m wondering if it’s that making me feel this way, but the house is so eerily quiet. I don’t really have friends, well I have friends at work, but no one I can go for a coffee or lunch with, I’ve tried online dating but not getting anywhere, I feel like I don’t have a purpose anymore, like I’m just existing not living. I find it hard to go anywhere as I don’t have a car to meet people and can’t afford taxis going places, is what I’m feeling normal, does anyone else feel this way?

Yes I do. My relationship broke down last year and I lost my mum too. Now I have not many people around me and I’m also retired ! So no work so it can be pretty lonely Online dating is grim when your 55 seem guys want younger lady’sI’ve come to conclusion I’ll be on my own forever I’ve done the meet up and clubs but they do not really come to anything
I still get up and get out I have to force myself even a holiday this year solo It’s really tough I know but don’t be hard on yourself I’ve just decided to take every opportunity that comes now as not got much to lose! you never know what’s round the corner. Also invest in a good tv as that curbs the lonely nights it’s seems it’s the way of the world it’s seems there are a lot of ppl living alone nowadays

Sorry to hear you lost your mum, I lost my dad 3 years ago and I often just want to pick up the phone and chat to him like I used to then remember I can’t 😢
I can’t imagine retiring, I would go mad I think, yes online dating is grim, I’ve been on it far to long and should have met someone by now, funny you say that as I met someone a while back and I had to stop seeing him as every time we went out he would stare and leer at young girls 🤮 he was 51! I feel I will be on my own forever too, I rent my house as well I worry about that too as what happens when my landlord passes away, I won’t be able to afford rent anywhere else as he gives me a good rate. The future just looks bleak to me, I watch tv all the time bored of it now I’ve even turned it off this evening.

It must be an adjustment if your child has moved out that’s for sure. (I’m single but also have no children so used to being on my own). Now is the time to re discover what you love and enjoy doing - get out there and make new friends (if that’s what you want), or take up new hobbies.

But I imagine totally normal to feel the way you do xx

But it’s difficult without a car and especially in the winter with less daylight hours will be worse.

Yeah that will definitely make things harder. Try not to worry about the winter just yet. Hopefully things will be better by then for you! Oh dear god, please don’t use online dating to fill a bit of a void in your life - I feel like that’s opening yourself up to be mis treated by the wrong sort!

Hopefully others will be along with some other suggestions x

But why can others meet partners online 🤷‍♀️ don’t get why I can’t, feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I'm single, but I have an adult child who lives at home. She has a busy life though - college, work, her boyfriend, her friends etc. So I don't see a whole lot of her.

I work full-time, so that keeps me busy. I'm lucky as I have a lot of friends, so I have lots of people to meet up with. I'm also involved with a few groups where I live (one of them is a book club).

Occasionally I feel a bit lonely, especially on Saturday nights, when DD is gone to the pub with her friends. But I've made Saturday night my TV night. I check the TV guide at the weekend and record anything that looks promising during the week. Then I sit down with a glass or two of wine on a Saturday night, and catch up on some good TV. In winter I light the fire and light some candles and make the house cosy.

Would you consider learning to drive? It would open up your world a bit and make it easier to go places and do things, especially in winter, when we have those long, dark nights. But perhaps that's not an option for you. Or perhaps you have medical issues which rule out driving. No judgement from me if that's the case.

Joining a group or sports club is the obvious solution. What things do you enjoy doing and are there any groups or societies that align with those hobbies and interests?

Charity work or volunteer work is another option.

Is there a travel group for singles you could join? Save up and go on a holiday somewhere.

Just luck, I think. I have a lovely friend who has tried dating sites on and off, but hasn't had any luck. She's very attractive, has a good job and a lovely personality. I don't understand why she hasn't been snapped up. Having said that, I know a few people who met their other halves through dating sites and seem to be blissfully happy.

i do work but I’m on holiday this week, probably why I’m feeling worse. I can drive I just can’t afford to run a car as well as run my home on my own, I feel stuck as I can’t afford taxis to get anywhere, I have been thinking about some volunteer work. Basically I just work to pay my rent, bills and a bit of food, life is rubbish at the minute.

Aww OP, you’re not alone feeling like that. I am long term single and have a teen at home. When he goes it’s going to be a big adjustment. I have anxiety so socializing in groups is hard, but I do have a small number of friends/ people to hang out with. Unfortunately I often feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I have noticed if I have friends staying in the house it goes, so maybe in future I would look to a lodger?

Do you have any pets?

OLD is v tough. Some are lucky but many are not. Just starting dating again…

Best of luck. It helps me to know I am not the only one with these feelings

Try and enjoy the rest of your time off and maybe when you next have some time off, plan a few bits in advance each day (even if it’s something small to get you out of the house).

it is tough and I do get it. I used to dread bank holidays and taking time off work for the same reason but I eventually learnt to accept spending time on my own. (Now I’m probably too comfortable alone!).

Thank you
yes I’ve had stuff planned this week, but just boring stuff really, like tomorrow I have a smear test booked lucky me 😂 and then my boilers getting serviced so rock n roll
Do you have many friends? I did but covid came and they all disappeared 🤷‍♀️

No I can’t have a lodger my landlord has said no, don’t know if I could live with someone I don’t know anyway.
No pets I would love a dog but I work in the week, so wouldn’t be fair.
Thank you wish you luck too.

Can you look to get a better paid job? That will then perhaps give you the opportunity to drive and expand your circle.

Boiler service and a smear test - you are having a great week off, don’t know what you’re complaining about 😂

I’ve got friends, not heaps - I prefer one on one time though than groups and definitely became a lot more anti social as I age 🤣

Have you tried Meet-up to see if there’s anything in your area? Or Bumble BFF?

also you mention you’d like a dog. I used to volunteer with the cinnamon trust and walk a dog for an older lady who needed a hand - it got me out of the house/I wanted a dog myself but couldn’t/and met some great people.

Worth thinking about.

Yes how lucky am I 😂
I could look into meet ups and I like the idea of walking a dog will look into that thank you ☺️