Self Sabotage

[DeirdreChambersWhatACoincidence]

And how do I stop it??

This last year I've lost just over 3 stone and fell so much better. Yet lately I can't seem to get myself together and not over-eat. I know I'm doing it, I know it's going to start undoing all my hard work, and I keep doing it. And I don't know why!

I also have trichotillomania. Bought some hair powder last year and for the first time in over 30 years I've been able to wear my hair down in a parting (by colouring in the bare part on top of my head) and it's been so liberating and lovely.

So now I've started pulling my hair out again!!

Does anyone have any strategies they use? How can I sort myself out and stop being a twat??

Regrading the overeating OP - firstly congrats on your weight loss but secondly j went down to 7 and a half stone as a 30 year old by sticking to a daily calorie intake of 1330 doing some form of aerobic exercise - not walking - every day for at least 30 minutes abd to attract myself fr overeating I bought magazines / papers etc and watched TV shows I liked

I tried 1300 calories and it made me feel terrible! I'm very tall though, nearly six feet, and walk 10 miles a day usually. I was losing weight on 1600. I stopped for a while and maintained but I can't get back into the diet mode now!

I think doing it for a year has just got boring really.

Ah right I’m 5ft2

Have you been diagnosed with OCD? It would be helpful if you had treatment and learned distraction techniques to stop you trying to deal with anxiety and compulsive behaviour in unhealthy ways like hairpulling. Mindfulness and CBT could be helpful.

Work out your TDEE, then you can see how much you should be eating.

It does seem as though you may have some unresolved psychological issues though, so some counselling would probably benefit you. However, you say you don't know why you are doing the SS or hairpulling - are you maybe in denial about it? It's very common to not want to acknowledge things we know will be painful to deal with. They must be dealt with though, however difficult and that will enable you to move away from hurting yourself.

@unsync just calculated tdee and it says 2300 to maintain and 1800 as cutting out 500 calories. I did 1600 from last September to about a month ago. I use Nutracheck, I like it more than MFP.

I've pulled my hair since I was 11, I'm 43 now. It was a reaction to being bullied at school and having a miserable home life I think, I've never seen a doctor about it. I can go for years without doing it and then have weeks where it's nearly constant.

I could see a doctor. I already take antidepressants and I think they do help a bit!

You might find these helpful:

OCD Action
https://ocdaction.org.uk/resources/bfrb/

MIND
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/about-ocd/

Anxiety UK (lots of info and affordable therapy)
www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

@MiloMinderbinder925 thank you, I'll have a look at those.

Knowing why you do something is half the battle. You need to get specialist help to deal with the retained trauma from the bullying and poor homelife. Your GP may be able to point you in the right direction, but you don't get to choose and waiting lists are long. Try the charity Mind in your local area. They often provide counselling at affordable rates.

Can you get counselling and see your doctor about your obsessive hair pulling?

Do you ruminate a lot while you walk your daily 10 miles? How about doing more focused and intense exercise, including HIITand weight training? Check out Growingannanas, Heather Robertson and Caroline Girvan.

Regarding eating healthily - do you enjoy cooking? I tend to find that if I cook I find it easier to make better choices and avoid UPS and other sugary and starchy cr@p. I like Dr Becky Gillaspy’s short talks on YouTube for daily reinforcement.

@Tulpenkavalier I love cooking, I'm actually a professional cook. I make all my food at home from scratch and only occasionally have chips from the shop or very rarely a KFC.

My problem is I eat too much of the home made stuff!
If I cut calories I lose weight and it has worked really well this last year, but now I just can't seem to be arsed with it. I'm still eating healthily in general but I over eat it.

I don't have much chance to do anything except walking (zero childcare) but I could do something in the evenings at home.

I think you have to dial down the shame and self-judgement and start seeing your ‘self sabotage’ behaviours as ‘self protection’

Something about the self protection feels good and soothing to your system. So bringing gentle awareness to that can help you pause and make different choices in the moment.

What about cooking only just enough for one meal at a time?
No refined carbs or sugar or alcohol
Using a smaller plate
Consciously eating, one bite at the time, slowly, and putting the fork down between bites
No distractions whilst you eat, just focusing on each bite

Sorry if I sound like grandma teaching you how to suck eggs but I find these strategies work for me...... most of the time.

I also find that exercising first thing in the morning - before I even eat anything - sets me up on a 'today is going to be a good day' path. Even 10-15 minutes can be helpful, as long as it's fairly intense. Growingannanas has some short Tabata workouts that I really like:

Re. walking: I found wearing a weighted vest (5kg) really useful, both for weight control and strengthening shoulders, back, core. It seems heavy as I put it on but once I start walking I barely notice it.