Are you more or less tolerant as you've become older?

[SteviesNicks]

Just curious.
Some say they're less able to take other people's crap, and others say they just can't be bothered with it all.
Of course there's a good balance between the two, and obviously it is situation dependent, but which way are you more inclined to be?

Early 50s here and I'm finding generaIly, I care less as I get older.

So angry. Cannot deal with idiots anymore. Coinciding with men considering me invisible and therefore behaving much worse.
And realised most people are not very nice and stupid too.

Both. I am more tolerant of people when I have a greater understanding of their position but less tolerant of idiots.

I know I was getting less tolerant as I hit my 40s, but since my husband died, suddenly, and only age 48 a few years ago, I have become a lot more laid back and tolerant. Because actually, I just don't care - none of it really matters in the end so why get worked up about it. Idiots will always be idiots, and the world is full of stupid people. I can't change that, so why waste time getting worked up about it :)

Both.

Less tolerant of idiots
More understanding of people's genuine challenges

Which way do I lean? I'd have to say I lean towards fuckit

I would say I'm more tolerant, as I can empathise more easily, now I have some life experience behind me. But I'm also more confident, so I'm more able to tell people when they're pissing me off! It's not that I was tolerant of other people's crap before, but I stayed quiet as I wasn't as able to stand up for myself (still working on that!)

Perimeno is an absolute milestone. I found my perceived societal obligation of being a people pleasing smiling doormat, whilst inwardly crying, because of the latest passive aggressive put down, stopped instantly. I think because I've worked out that people will like me or not, I really don't mind, as long as I know I'm treating people fairly, kindly. I've actually become more laid back and perhaps less tolerant of bad behaviour.

Not to do with age as such, but ever since I started wearing noise cancelling headphones everywhere a few years ago, I notice/care about other people a hell of a lot less. Life is much calmer in one’s own little world - I recommend it.

This.

Can't bear idiots, I feel internally violent around them but I also simply cannot be arsed to deal with them, so I probably appear more tolerant as I just won't engage in the way I would when younger.

Actually I was always intolerant and never did the ‘people pleasing’ thing. So actually I’m far more mellow as I’ve got older. I’m more forgiving.

This is me as well.

I'm a lot less tolerant with idiots and piss takers. A few people around me think it's confidence from weight loss, but it's age. It was happening pre-weight loss.

Less tolerant there are some bloody stupid people out there and a lot of entitled people they all give me the rage
As I get older (I’m 54) all I want is to move somewhere remote and to live in peace

I feel the same as this.

We're far less tolerant, especially now OH has incurable cancer and has to deal with the NHS several times per month. He just won't put up with their crap anymore and has grown a pair of balls when dealing with them now he's been having tests/treatments monthly for the last 8 years, which usually involve their foul ups somewhere along the way.

Same with poor customer service, tradesmen, etc. We've been "doormats" for far too long putting up with their crap, but not anymore. They get benefit of doubt at the start, but if problems aren't solved at first attempt, then we won't put up with being constantly fobbed off etc.

We don't care what people think anymore. But we're never insulting nor aggressive. We've just honed the art of being assertive, backed up by knowledge of the facts, and delivered with a nice smile! No need to be nasty when you're assertively asking for what you know when you know you're right.

42 and just cannot be bothered with other people and their crap anymore. I have taken to avoiding lots of family members now because I just don’t see the point in the constant pettiness and competitiveness.

Variable depending on the situation.

So done with idiots and mostly men.

Sort of both. I'm still a rather sad people pleaser but I've developed more of an ability to say 'no, sorry, that doesn't work for me'. I just never quite know which side I'm going to come down on until the words come out of my mouth.

But I'm definitely less likely to go along with everything than I used to be.

MUCH more tolerant.

Late 50s and on HRT which I think helps massively but I can almost ways see both side to a story and I believe that most people are really doing the best they can.

My husband is 61 and has got more and more intolerant with age

Yes, this, very eloquently put.

Both, I’m more tolerant of people who have genuine difficulties in their life and less tolerant of people whose behaviour towards me is toxic. I was raised in a household where women were people pleasers in the extreme it was not a healthy family environment and the culture lead to serious abuse. I thought it was all fine until I was in my forties and really appreciated how fucked up it was. I genuinely have a visceral reaction to the types of behaviour that lead to that culture. Controlling behaviour and misogyny are examples that really trigger me these days.

I definately think more - but that could be my job (social worker). I just am able to look behind peoples shitty behaviour and think about whats really going on. In my 20s I couldn't. I was very judgemental and opinionated and would cut people off who I thought didn't have the same worldview as me. Now Im perfectly ok mixing with people with different views and lifestyles - I rather like it - and I don't think my opinion is 'right'. Im far more open to discussion and changing my views, and I certainly no longer think 'oh they think that therefore I don't want to be friends'. I do not, however, tolerate any abusive people in my life no matter who they are or how much I love them. I am very strict on that.

However, I also care less if people don't like me. Mostly I couldn't care less, whereas when younger I really cared and would overthink.

I have so much less tolerance, and want to go back and shake my younger self for putting up with all of the shit I did. I sometimes replay situations and think, what I would do now; DH, and I have a laugh thinking of what we would do/say!

I have no issues saying "no" now without justification, and not putting up with people who make me more unhappy than happy, whether that be family or 'friends. Life is too short to stand for nonsense.

I'm 40, so God help me when I'm even older! I am however more understanding of people with struggles, which has came with life experience, because life isn't black and white, and as fixable as I believed it to be when I was young.

Tolerant of "crap from other people" is not the type of tolerance I normally think about. I usually have view = "humans make mistakes and I'm human too" about ordinary things.

I probably was too reactive to outrageous behaviour when younger & have now calmed down a bit, although I'd still turn and harangue any arsehole who pinched my bottom or grabbed a boob etc (hasn't happened in a long time, TG). The fury would have been stronger when I was young. If we're talking that type of crap from others, I was never tolerant & never will be. I'd shout at a shoplifter and I have tried to persuade people starting fights to calm down. I'm an interferer in some contexts.

I'm mostly diffident about more subtle merely inconsiderate or selfish behaviour though. I actively enjoy very irritating people who are regulars in my life, the more irrational & self-centred or self-entitled they are, the more entertaining I find them.

More tolerance for people genuinely struggling. More able to give people a pass if I think they are having a bad day. More able to not share when I think someone is wrong, and let that go.

Getting better at protecting my boundaries and vocalising my needs and wants.

I have little patience for people treating me badly though. I recently gave a friend 18 months grace and finally dropped her. She had mistaken manners and patience with being a doormat 😂

I’ve learned to be more patient with certain people, partly more aware others might be having problems, also because I know getting stressed harms me (they don’t give a toss) but mostly because I have found it’s the best way to get what I need from a situation.

Other than that I’m way less tolerant of people and the world generally. I think it’s all a bit shit