Bored of DH's DIY approach to the house.

[DIYDave]

We bought a shell of a house 20 years ago and DH is still working on it. I have lost all motivation.
All rare holidays have been capped at 10 days so there's a weekend for DIY.
The last 3 years have mostly been focused on classic cars which are all still unreliable and worth incredibly little.
We're finally getting a proper kitchen and after researching it, compromising for cost over and over again, the whole six units are being delivered in a month's time. And I'm just so unmotivated about it all.
DH is fitting it, I've found a worktop supplier but I just think that's going to be watered down and I've run out of fight.
We need a joist and DH actually said he was thinking about cutting a tree down and making his own out of the garden.
He will do a good job but there just aren't enough hours in the day, it's been 20 years and I want to do something different.

I think it's the relentless 'do we really need that' cross examination. It's good, but ultimately it sucked all excitement out. And I have no idea now I've parked everything back to the bare minimum.

I also don't want to become an expert in kitchen appliances and fitting. And no longer take pleasure in watching DH fudge his way through a skilled trade. I'm happy to pay someone. We've had an unfitted integrated dishwasher for 15 years now, no plinth, no sides, with a loose worktop.
The initial agreement on this kitchen fit was everything done at once and properly. We are now quite far from that. no plinths or cornicing because he can source, paint and fit them from elsewhere.

And after months of it by Xmas I'll have to hear a dozen people tell me how clever he is and how lucky I am, as I once again stop the dishwasher tipping just like in the previous version.

I'm going to put an extra blob of HRT on.

I too share your pain. We bought a house in 2015 that needs a lot of work, every room to be precise. My DH is a perfectionist who is very handy, but my god it takes forever. It hasn't helped that he had an injury at work that knocked him from doing anything for over a year, he could barely walk and lost his job - bless him, so we can't afford to get people in either.

In total he has finished - our bedroom, lounge (but now needs repainting), boys' room, utility.
Still to do - bathroom, dining room, kitchen, spare bedroom/library, garage. He's currently building a log store so we can move the wood for the new log burner from the utility, so we can move all the crap in the dining room into the utility so he can make another start on the dining room. Gah - I love love love the house, but it needs so much doing to it. I am NEVER moving again though.

So he’s from money, you have money together, you have an income.
You have chosen a kitchen, he’s beaten you down.

Life is very short. You appear to be working for an unfinished house and some vanity project cars. No holidays, no music festivals, no fun.

At what point do you say it’s just not worth it any more? Find somewhere to hang your art. It’s not that house.

(FYI, I wouldn’t heap praise on anyone who does it themselves and spends that long about it. That’s not clever, it’s daft)

Then order it in.

We have a new build. The fence is timber posts and wonky. We got two quotes to put concrete posts in, gravel boards and make it higher one quote £1400 and one £900 from someone we know does a good job. Yes we could do it - but it’s £430 in supplies and two days plus work. We have dogs and just want it done. He’s bringing two blokes and it’s one day done. Easy.