Help! How do I lose weight as a single parent?

[BarbaraVineFan]

I am a single mum to my 5 year old DD and have been getting fatter and fatter since she stopped breastfeeding three years ago. I am now officially categorised as obese. I’m worried about my health and really want to lose weight, but am struggling to work out how to manage it, given that I work full time and have DD 24/7 (her dad lives abroad).

I can’t go swimming, or go for a run. I work from 7.45 until 5.15 and by the time I’ve got DD from after school club and sorted dinner, laundry, housework and bedtime, I really struggle to motivate myself to do home workouts, especially now that she is often not asleep until 8 or 8.30.

Foodwise I also don’t do very well in the evenings, although I do eat healthily at breakfast and lunch. I am a constant snacker and I suspect I’m often eating because I’m bored. I’m also 45 and I think perimenopause has not helped with the weight gain or the exhaustion that I’m feeling!

If anyone has any suggestions for how I can overcome any or all of these issues and start living more healthily, I would really appreciate it a lot.

I should also mention that I already do quite a bit of walking- I walk a mile and back to work every day, and I don’t have a sedentary job. DD and I are also very active at the weekends going for long walks in country parks and things. So I do have a relatively active lifestyle, but it obviously isn’t nearly enough :(

That sounds tough, you work long hours which doesn't help.

I think the snacks is the easiest win. Stop buying them. Have salad and raw veg for snacking. If you need to buy some for DD, only buy the exact amount she needs that week, and put them in a cupboard that you mentally mark as only for her. What activities trigger you to snack?

Then also portion sizes, cut them down a bit, reduce the proportion of carbs compared to the veg.

Thanks for replying @ManchesterGirl2. You’re right, I should stop buying snacks. I start munching almost as soon as I get in from work , eating some crisps or biscuits while I am cooking dinner, and then as soon ss i get downstairs from putting DD to bed I seem to go straight back to the cupboard again. I need to retrain my brain I think!

Perhaps start prepping your meals or have something in the slow cooker so you have your evening meal almost immediately, that might help you to stop munching while you're cooking. Have you tried logging food on my fitness pal? Aim to eat lots of protein, veg, salad and fruit

Using MyfitnessPal or something similar can help. Planning your food and knowing what you are allowed.

Im trying to get fit again at the moment but previously when I was at my fittest I mostly did it at home. I did walk a fair bit but then I did workouts with weights at home in the evenings. Your DD not sleeping until after 8 does make it difficult though would she play in her room whilst you did 15 minutes?

I'm in a similar boat op so you have my sympathy. It's very hard and I think the exhaustion is a major factor.

One thing I find easier is taking one day every two weeks and doing a proper meal prep and batch cooking two weeks worth of food. That way all I need to do is get in the door, and microwave rather than having to start from scratch when I'm starving and ds is tired hungry and cranky. Having healthyish snacks to hand is key and actually drinking enough I find important because I find it hard to remember to do being busy. Decent sleep at a reasonable time and supplements to help with energy.

I think if you're generally active, diet is probably key. And really that's organisation. I usually do one hob batch cook, one oven, and one or two in the slow cooker on a Saturday every other week.

It's hard though and i by no means have cracked it, so I feel you.

Also could you set her up with an activity to do in the same room as you while you do a quick workout while dinner is heating/cooling so you're both occupied?

I know @CatKings, she is not a good sleeper unfortunately- just doesn’t seem to need lots of sleep. Conversely however, she is much less likely to play on her own in the evenings and gets quite needy when she is tired after school, so it’s unlikely I could get much done before she is asleep really :(

Batch cooking is a good shout. I haven’t really been able to do that much when DD was younger, as she needed entertaining more, but now that she’s older and will play by herself I could start to try it.

Exercise isn't needed (but obviously helps with toning etc). I lost 5 stone (with no Exercise as im disabled). What helped me were changing one thing at a time. I started meal planning every meal and spent a couple of evenings working out calories per portion. I now have a fortnightly meal plan that I use, shop online for weekly food shop prevents temptation, have a cupboard for dc snacks etc so I don't really see them (I also try to buy snacks i dont like), Intermittent fasting (having a rule i couldn't eat after tea helped reduce snacking), Logging all calories, not drinking alcohol or calarific drinks, allowing treats but moderation and building them into my calories, counting calories over a week (so if one day i went over i didn't fail and give up i just needed to adjust the rest of the weeks calories), working out what calories I do actually need with a tdee calculator (a lot less than I thought).
I've been at goal over a year now and continue to log calories and IF but slightly more relaxed. I believe it worked because I changed long-term eating habits, I eat normal meals with dc but just portion controlled (no making different meals), I've been able to continue the same habits just slightly altered my calorie intake. You need to find what will work for you long-term, not look at what's holding you back (too busy, tired, single parent) and slowly change what you can.

That’s a really interesting post and food for thought, @Becauseicanthelpyoucantbebothered, thank you!

I found fasting (not eating or drinking anything other than water or black tea/coffee) for 16 hours a day has been a game changer. Then adding things like walking the stairs at work more, squats while making a cup of tea/brushing teeth with kids. Weights by the telly. Little and often exercises.

I haven't dieted for a long time but need to again as it's all crept back on as it does.🙄
Getting in from work and starting to cook seems to be the trigger for realising your really hungry and start nibbling, I found making a big batch of low calorie soup at weekend and having a cup of that whilst preparing food helped. I lost over three stone doing that and only buying treats that were 100 calories or less, so freddo frog with coffee, pom bears or French fries are much lower in calories than proper crisps, that kind of thing...........basically better organisation helped me (nowI just have to put it into practise again)!

I use an app called Yuka, it allows you to scan barcodes of products and then shows you the good and bad of each product in terms of calorie, salt, sugar content etc etc. I have found this super helpful in cutting out excess calories and moving onto healthier snacks and foods

i think we all try new diets / eating plans and feel bad when we don’t stick to them, there will be weeks when you might snack more, you should never feel bad for breaking a diet, I struggled with this in the beginning but now understand it’s all part of the process.

hope you all the best x

From my understanding, the majority of weight loss is about diet, rather than exercise. Using an app to track calories, and make sure you are in a calorie deficit.

I got a smart watch so I could count my steps accurately and a walking pad, took away those excuses of it's raining, I don't have time, cant go out. It takes ten mins ish to walk 1000 steps, can be broken up throughout the day and it made all the difference in the world when I switched to a 9-5 job sitting down all day. 15 mins before work, 20 mins on lunch break and id make up the rest once the kids were in bed

Totally agree ! If you’re in a calorie deficit your body will burn fat reserves. I think this is a much easier way then doing lots of different exercise routines which when raising a family can be hard to stick to x

You might need to kick off with a bit of a junk food detox. 3 or 4 weeks to rid your body and brain of the cravings for sugary or salty things. I'd rid the house of anything tempting and make sure you have healthy snacks like carrot sticks ready as an alternative. I'd probably go a step further and cut out potatoes/bread/pasta/rice too, as it will force you to fill yourself up with vegetables and protein instead, and you won't get the energy highs and lows that carbs give you.

It'll be good for your DD not to have chips and biscuits in the house, too.

16/8 fast for 16 hrs.
Which for me means no breakfast and no after dinner snacking.

I used to use MFP but having much more success with the Samsung Health App, it doesn't moan if I don't eat 1200 kcal

I agree with all pp’s who have said that it’s controlling food intake that is key (which is why the injections work).
And yet…for me, when I exercise, cravings for snack food aren’t nearly so prevalent and I inevitably eat less, and have lost a significant amount of weight.
There is also evidence that walking after meals positively affects how the body processes food, so, as you already like walking, could you get a cheapo walking pad to use for half an hour in the evening? Just as a kick start?

What PP said. I’ve lost a good amount of weight this year, no exercise. Small achievable goals:

finish eating for the day 30m / 1h earlier
start eating a little later the next morning
Swap out snacks every other day: apples or carrot sticks instead of crisps etc
When I started I made a huge pot of veg soup which is incredibly low calorie - whenever I was hungry I ate a bowl
Do online shopping or stick to a list so unhealthy snacks don’t fall into your trolley.

Salad. Great time of year for it - and cheap. Means you're low calorie and getting more veg, win win.
Agree with PP about buying lower calorie snacks - crisps or chocolate bars that are less than 100 calories per item. Or just try not to buy them at all!

Can you afford an exercise bike @BarbaraVineFan - might be worth asking on local Facebook page it’s the sort of thing people buy and don’t use

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jul/21/change-that-worked-exercise-watching-tv

Exercise is great for keeping you fit, strong and healthy and improving your shape. Eating in a calorie deficit is all that's needed for weight loss.

Your body doesn't defy the laws of physics - if you eat less than you burn, you WILL lose weight. And noone is too busy to eat less.

Low fat greek yoghurt for breakfast - I have a big bowl (200g - ignore the serving suggestion) for 100 calories.

A 3 egg mushroom omlette for lunch.

A sensible portion of whatever you're making for dinner in the evening, so long as it's real food.

Be careful with oil used to cook, and don't drink your calories.

I’d suggest a slimming club. I got weighed by a group at work and once I got started it was great to see the weight coming off. Do you have a supportive group who might want to do this? It’s great that you are active already so it’s not that much of a struggle to incorporate exercise if you won’t struggle to do it. Could you substitute the snacking in the evening for playing just dance or some kind of other active game in the evening. Like displace the snacking ? I’m good when I’ve got other stuff to do but am a fiend for snacks when I’m tired/bored or trying to power through the relentless dullness of trying to get everything done in the evening and just think fuck it. I’m also doing intermittent fasting and it really helps to have a window when I can eat and don’t feel that deprived cos that just doesn’t work for me. I hope you manage to do it. Imagine how good you’ll feel having to buy new smaller clothes. This stuff isn’t easy but it’s worth it and it sounds like a lot of your life is in really good order, managing to work and be a sole parent makes you a superstar in my view.