What is your young teen doing this week?

[Tacocatgoatcheesepizza]

DS is 13 and would stay in bed until midday and then watch tv for the rest of the day if he could. He doesn’t do anything else when he’s at home apart from game or watch tv. If we turn off the tv he just sits on the sofa 🫣 It’s harder and harder to persuade him out apart from activities like bowling which we can’t do everyday!

He is not particularly fussed about meeting up with friends and will probably only do that a couple of times over the whole 6 weeks.

This week we will be going for a game of badminton at some point, going out with friends one day and going out for dinner one eve with friends. I end up resorting to bribery like let’s walk to town and go to the cake shop to get him off the sofa!

Anyone else have the same struggle with children this age?

Mine are a bit younger but I was thinking this earlier how it won't really get any easier, in a few years my eldest will be 13 and too cool to play with her younger sister so I don't know what I'm going to do with both of them then! It's hard isn't it and I feel guilty as they are off school and there is a pressure to be "enjoying it" whilst trying to work full time as well!

I think I feel pressure because I’m not at work (school) and so am available to entertain him…. He just doesn’t really want to do anything! Other ds is 10 and is still open to most suggestions or will at least give it a go!

OP I would chill a bit ,he's working hard at school let him have time that's his own and he doesn't have to do anything .

@MaybeThisTimeILlbeLucky he will get plenty of chill time, honestly. But I can’t let him do that for 6 weeks!

My child is the same age… playing 13 hours of sport across Monday to Friday and then pretty much sleeping, watching tv, playing games consoles and lounging around the rest of the time 😅

14 year old has cricket camp Monday and Tuesday, cricket match all day Wednesday, going to Granny’s Thursday to mow her lawn (and eat all her biscuits), Friday he’s coming into work with me to blitz my classroom and redo all my display boards. Saturday, more cricket. At this age, he can cycle down to the cricket club and go in the nets with his friends or watch sports on the telly in the club house.

13 hours of sport in 5 days is amazing! Ds only likes tennis and his lessons don’t run over the holidays sadly ( and I’m rubbish - he likes to play dh occasionally though)

@KingscoteStaff I wish ds was as invested in a hobby as that!

I have a 15yo who is pretty good at keeping himself occupied. Over the summer holidays this year he'll be playing cricket, going on bike rides with friends and practising his instrument. He does also game with friends and watch TV (mainly sport).

my dd is older this summer, but I knew she would never leave her bed and a screen would be permanently attached to her hand if I left her to decide how to spend her summer at 13. I strongly led her to finding a volunteer position for that summer. It was a bunch of work for me because I had to provide transportation, but it ended up being a great opportunity for her. It helped her mature by leaps and bounds and eventually led to a standing summer holiday job.

Watching with interest. My DD is 13 (14 in a couple of weeks). She has ASD and ADHD and says she needs a break from socialising, but in reality gets easily bored. She has various ideas, we will see whether they come to anything. She's going to visit some art galleries and collect bits for her art portfolio, and generally wander around taking photos of things, going to take her sister to the cinema a couple of times, has talked about volunteering in a charity shop after her birthday (you have to be 14). She goes to watersports club twice a week and I've offered to pay for climbing lessons if she wants, and ice skating. She likes mooching around the charity shops. We have been to the lido as a family a couple of times already. She might get the sewing machine out and try some projects, and she likes cooking and picking blackberries etc. She needs to do some Spanish practice.

It’s a very tricky age. They are too old for ‘family days out’ such as farms and soft play (which we do a lot as we have younger dc) but also too young to make their own arrangements or be left alone all day.

I do give my ds the opportunity to game, laze around, scroll on his phone etc because it’s the holidays and he needs his downtime. Plus I can’t micro manage every minute of his day when I have work and younger dc to juggle too.

I have booked some time off where it’ll just be me and him and we are planning a shopping day out for our holiday bits and the Cinema to see the new Jurassic park film. I’d also like to get him involved in a few more chores around the house and learning some basic life skills like cooking. We will do dog walks and maybe some national trust visits with the little dc too.

He plays sport and training/games continue through the holidays and I expect he’ll make some plans to go out with friends too so it won’t be all screens and sleeping until midday. But I agree it’s very tricky especially when their enthusiasm for everything is on the floor.

Mine are younger but my best friend's older son is on football camp in the mornings, then is spending some afternoons with his friends from football, and some time with his grandparents helping them with garden stuff.

Surely there will be tennis classes, clubs over the summer, OP. Even if it's a different company. But it may be too late to sign him up?

I could have written your post OP. It's so hard isn't it. I feel guilty, that I'm failing him. We live rurally so he's reliant on me to drive him places to do anything, but I'm busy too.

We always have a chilled first week of the holidays. About 8 years ago, we went away immediately & it was miserable as they were just too tired. As well as 13yo DS, I have a 15yo DD and, after another term full of school work, sport & socialising, I feel as though I need to remind them of the rules of family life (eg sitting around at the table chatting over dinner and then helping to clear up rather than having a bowl of chicken & pasta in the car) and almost reintroduce them to each other.
Today & tomorrow is literally entirely up to them other than having dinner as a family. Tues, Weds & Thurs he has no plans so he can mow the lawn, help me with a bit of hardening, I’m intentionally decorating a room this week so he can help out with the various different stages for 20 - 30 mins or so at a time (although I have a feeling that, once he gets a roller in his hand, he might not stop!), he’s going to help cook dinner on at least one day and I’m going to teach him how to clean the bathroom. Tues evening well all watch the football and on Weds I’ll take him & DD to a park in the evening and take a bat & ball. The DC would refuse to do that in our local park as it would be too embarassing but, if we drive to the next town, they’ll do it. Friday, he‘s out with friends.

He’s doing a couple of days at his tennis club summer camp next week but he gets very anxious about new places/people which makes it tricky.

I've ordered one Hello Fresh box (at a big discount!) and 13 year old is going to use this to cook the tea each day this week! (I did this last summer too and it was very successful!)
Fresh air and exercise every day, if they don't plan anything this will be a 'nice country walk' with me!
Enforced time with no screens and they usually do like yours and lie on the sofa but think of something to do eventually, when the boredom kicks in, haha!
They do have quite a bit of screen time- usually in the later afternoon.

I figure unless I offer a better alternatives my kids will be on screens (secondary age). Money is tight and I’m working mostly from home but I’m doing following to break up the days:
walks
parks
seafront
bike rides (well waving them off)
football and trampolining in garden
invite friends round
Bought new books, they both read before bed and I will read with DS (separate books) but suggest we read one chapter in middle of day.
cooking - i buy the ingredients and they get on with it and both enjoy this
board games (DS only)
DD loves art and crafts so making sure she has supplies
We've got Merlin passes and National Trust membership so will do a couple of theme park days and gardens/tea rooms

I hate seeing them do nothing except gaming or phone - they look depressed. But in reality they’ll both do hours of both each day but as long as we do some other stuff too i accept it.

DS15 plays the piano and violin so he'll be doing some of that, some gaming and he's been taking a handheld game apart to modify and hack that 🫣. He's got into football recently so will probably spend some time kicking the ball about and hopefully he'll come with us on dog walks (except getting him out of bed is a challenge!)

DS13 has had a busy year so I'm letting him fester in bed for the first week or so. He'll come swimming/cinema/bowling with me and younger sibs over the coming weeks and meet up with friends occasionally. Towards the end of the summer he has football camp for a week and we have a week at the seaside.

I struggle to get my 14 year old in. He’s out on his bike all day with his friends very rarely games anymore

DD 13 broke up 2 weeks ago so has already been away with DH the first week then pretty much slept most of last week.

This week she has Pony club competitions today + Friday, sleepover tomorrow night (2 days in reality).
In-between those 2 things: lounging around, eating and walking the dog.
We have an agreement she can vegetate as long as she balances it out with reading + physical exercise.

Next week she is at PC camp Monday-Friday then nothing the following week.