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My boss actually makes me cry

6 replies

Mybossmakesmesad · 20/07/2025 21:38

So, I love my job. I've worked here since I qualified 6 years ago. I have part time hours which are hard to get. I love the particular days I work (end of the week). I love the location of my work, as it's in walking distance of my house. I have some really great colleagues.

However, I really, really struggle with my boss. She makes patronising comments to me, is negative, pulls me up on tiny things in front of other people, tries to blame me for other people's mistakes, gaslights me, compares me to other members of staff. She tells me to do something a certain way, so I do, and then tells me I shouldnt have done it like that. In conversation, she talks very fast, interrupts a lot and talks over me. I tried to tell her how I feel, and she told me that other people wouldn't be upset by the things I am, and that I perhaps misunderstand things said to me (I don't) because of my autism.

It's honestly breaking me. It causes me so much stress. I'm currently speaking to my union about something she's done that actually kind of unlawful and it's going to be so awful when she's pulled up on it.

It's so awful because she gave me my job, kept me on permanently, so I've just put up with everything because I felt a sense of loyalty. All other staff members love her. I'm the only one she treats like this. I've always said that I can't imagine her saying the things she says to me to other people.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Great job but awful boss? I know the easy answer is just leave, but I'm at the top of my pay scale and jobs are very competitive in my area, so I think I'd actually have to just leave my profession if I left. Plus there are lots of things I do love about my workplace.

OP posts:
Sportsdaywinner · 21/07/2025 01:13

Can you speak to HR or to her boss perhaps and request a meeting to raise all of these points directly? Make a note of them and instances where you feel she's acted inappropriately and calmly but firmly express yourself. You can't go on like this as she's clearly bullying you and it's wrong to treat you this way. Hope you are ok. Remember you're most probably not the first person she's ever done this to..

healthybychristmas · 21/07/2025 04:52

That's really awful for you. Don't leave. Log everything and take it further.

tripleginandtonic · 21/07/2025 05:18

Do the other staff members agree with you about the way she treats you?

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FamilyPhoto · 21/07/2025 05:18

Mybossmakesmesad · 20/07/2025 21:38

So, I love my job. I've worked here since I qualified 6 years ago. I have part time hours which are hard to get. I love the particular days I work (end of the week). I love the location of my work, as it's in walking distance of my house. I have some really great colleagues.

However, I really, really struggle with my boss. She makes patronising comments to me, is negative, pulls me up on tiny things in front of other people, tries to blame me for other people's mistakes, gaslights me, compares me to other members of staff. She tells me to do something a certain way, so I do, and then tells me I shouldnt have done it like that. In conversation, she talks very fast, interrupts a lot and talks over me. I tried to tell her how I feel, and she told me that other people wouldn't be upset by the things I am, and that I perhaps misunderstand things said to me (I don't) because of my autism.

It's honestly breaking me. It causes me so much stress. I'm currently speaking to my union about something she's done that actually kind of unlawful and it's going to be so awful when she's pulled up on it.

It's so awful because she gave me my job, kept me on permanently, so I've just put up with everything because I felt a sense of loyalty. All other staff members love her. I'm the only one she treats like this. I've always said that I can't imagine her saying the things she says to me to other people.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Great job but awful boss? I know the easy answer is just leave, but I'm at the top of my pay scale and jobs are very competitive in my area, so I think I'd actually have to just leave my profession if I left. Plus there are lots of things I do love about my workplace.

I had this. Only in my case she had done it at least twice before , other colleagues left.
Mine was office based , so I kept hard copies of all correspondence.
I battled on for 4 years, in the end she left.
But I wish I would have left .
My self confidence took years to recover.

spoonbillstretford · 21/07/2025 05:31

Have you tried standing up to her? Shut her down, get pissed off.

Sorry, could you say that again? Wow, that is rude. That's not a pleasant way to speak to a colleague. Stop speaking to me like that, it's not acceptable. Shut up. Go away. I don't want to hear what you think unless you can give me feedback which is constructive. I'm not going to listen to you unless you learn to speak politely and respectfully.

Don't give her any quarter, be fucking rude and direct, if necessary, not equivocal.

Devilsmommy · 21/07/2025 05:34

So are you saying she's picking on you because of your autism? She's going to open a shitcan of worms if that's her game. Definitely take it higher up. Good luck 🤞

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