Is it normal to dread returning to work after maternity leave?

[mummaonmaternity]

I want to preface this and say I enjoy my job so much, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else career wise, truly. I am really lucky for that.

It’s just… my baby still feels so young. And I’m a mum now, I’m not the same person who went off on maternity leave almost a year ago. I’m fortunate that we’ve been able to stretch it so I can have 11 months off in total. I have got a couple more months on mat leave. Lots of my mum friends are ‘itching’ to get back to work, saying they want a bit of themselves back and miss it. This is absolutely valid and I can see why they would feel that way but I now feel in the minority for absolutely dreading it. I just want to spend every day with my beautiful baby. I know we will adapt and that there are positives to it. I’m also lucky to not need to use a nursery or paid childcare, and to be able to almost halve my working hours. I knew I’d have to go back at some point but nothing could prepare me for how I’d feel or how quickly maternity leave is going!

Does / did anyone else feel this way?

I did! I cried for a full week beforehand it just felt so ‘wrong’ to go back to work. But I had to go I needed the money
I was fortunate enough to be able to go part time and I had good childcare and now looking back it was tough but I kept up
with my career, earned money for the family and was / am a good example to my children.

if you can do part time at least for a while would that help? Good childcare is worth its weight. And the money is always handy

Slightly different here as I’m on adoption leave which is coming to an end soon but I feel very conflicted about it.

I’m looking forward to going back to using my brain (my job is technical and detail orientated) and I know I’m not cut out for the SAHM life) but my god I’m not ready.

My LO is 3 so not a baby but we have fun every day and I’m really going to miss him. I’m scared I’m not going to cope and would love to be off longer even though there’s no real need LO will be in school.

You are not alone OP 💐

I sobbed and sobbed about going back, but when it came to it, it wasn’t so bad. There were bits I’d forgotten about and enjoyed, like being able to plan my day really easily, drink a hot drink without any spillage worries, and grown up conversation! And hopefully (assuming you’re working daytime) you still get to enjoy breakfast and dinner, bath and bedtime routine, so it’s only a little bit of the day you’re missing.

Yes!! It’s really difficult. But if you have good colleagues, they will support you. I HATED the thought of going back to work before I did it, but now my kids are toddlers, I am so so glad I have a sort of “dual life.” It makes me better at my job and better as a mum. You can do it! Xx

I think it’s totally normal to feel like this! Rubbish, but normal.

I am three months into mat leave with my third baby. I feel very lucky that my mat leaves have been some of the absolute best times of my life, but I have dreaded the return to work every time. I love my job, and I have been glad to return both times so far. But I do love maternity leave more, and I will dread going back again this time. 😂

Solidarity OP - I’m feeling the same way about going back after DC2. But I just keep having to remind myself how heartbroken I felt in the same scenario with DC2, and then actually it wasn’t as horrendous as I’d imagined. By the time she hit 18 months she really loved nursery and I strongly believe that for her it’s been the right choice to be in nursery at least some of the week. I also found I became even more efficient at my job as I’d been so used to having so little time to myself since DC1 arrived that I was able to absolutely power through things.

So, yes it is normal, but it probably won’t be as bad as you’re imagining.

I haven’t even read your post op , I can say yes , it’s horrible and then you’ll probably cry a bit/ a lot the first couple of weeks then it will settle down , don’t make any drastic decisions for at least 2 months , you should all be used to it by then . It will be tough , then it will be normal . You can do it !