DS (14) in hospital after drinking almost a full bottle of vodka

[MumofDrunkTeen]

He has Type 1 diabetes as well and I was terrified of alcohol poisoning after seeing him uncontrollably puking, not able to walk and talking absolute nonsense.

He seems to have bought it from a local corner shop (who I have reported to the police) and took it with friends to drink in a nearby forest.

I checked his FindMy as I do when he’s out and noticed he was there for a while and had an instinct and when I called him his speech was slurred.

I thought at first it may be a hypo and his CGM was wrong (as it has been recently) so rushed there and his friends were trying to hold him up. They said he was drinking but they weren’t and helped me get him to the car.

He’s had a drip of fluids and slept for a few hours and is talking sense now, just waiting to blood sugar to go up as it’s staying low.

Anyone else experienced this?

Mortified he was swearing and shouting like a road man, demanding more vodka and drugs, while young kids in cubicles all around us!

He’s normally extremely polite and that was an alien side to him!

Worst thing was he was saying, ‘I hate my life why do I have to live with this shit, I want to die’about his Type 1. He will never talk about it and be open about how he feels and this has just made me feel so terrible for him!

This was a moment of rebelling against his diabetes. He is angry that he is different and that this condition controls every aspect of his life.
14 year olds just want to fit in. Try not to overthink it all. His friends were great and you were too. When he is ready to listen, tell him how scared you were and just how afraid you were. My guess is the consultant will also speak gently with him. I am a school nurse and many pupils face daily medical battles. Your son will be frightened by his behaviour, even if he says he is not. Maybe he would talk in confidence to someone online?
I wish you both lots of courage as you move on from this. It will be OK.

I think it's a bit harsh to punish him. He's probably learned his lesson and is feeling completely humiliated already. It's hard to accept you have a chronic illness and that your life is going to be more limited than everyone around you, even if it's just small things. He needs to learn to drink in moderation before University because the chances are his vow to never touch vodka again will wear off pretty quickly.

That’s a good update OP!

For your own sanity, forget uni, that’s years away and he will have gone through many changes between now and then.

OP

First thank you for the update.

You said he won't engage with other teens but what about an older than teens person? Maybe someone who is at uni and managing their T1?

@MrsSunshine2b makes a good point, it does take time to accept a medical condition. I became disabled but it took my mind longer to accept the permanent changes.

I've seen something like that with young people with epilepsy - I remember I was in hospital and a 17 year old ran away from the ward, she was saying she was sick of epilepsy etc.

At same time, they are just young and growing up, so it's just helping them navigate all that with a condition on top of it all.

Do you have have NHS health psychology where you are? They are specifically designed to support people coming to terms with long term conditions? It might feel less drastic than CAMHS if you pitch it that it's to talk about how he feels about his Diabetes, as opposed to his mental health.

This, we all knew someone who did this at school.

You need to cut out this drinking at home thing. It’s absolutely known from research that children who drink early in the home are more likely to have alcohol problems when they’re older than those who don’t.

Yes, okay 16/17 at Christmas, sure a glass of fizz with everyone else. But not at 13/14 and definitely not with T1 when he’s still working out how to manage that and live with the curveballs that can throw.

It will also affect his social life. My dd is 12 and has a friend who is allowed to drink at home. She said she literally has cans of cider in her bedroom. She offered dd a drink last time they had a sleepover, which is how all this came out. Dd didn’t want it, but said her friend is allowed to drink regularly at home. Nope, she’s now not allowed sleepovers with said friend.

16/17 and into uni age is a totally different thing than being barely out of primary school and drinking. I would absolutely nip that in the bud and be very forthright about how it will impact his friendships. No one wants the sloppy vomiting friend who is a liability over because it’s going to get them in trouble with their own parents.

like others I’ve looked after numerous paediatric patients who’ve done this, including diabetic kids. I agree with getting some psychological support -
it’s so difficult to navigate this stage with diabetes as well, and the consequences can be life-threatening. It’s so hard for kids this age.

My son was diagnosed T1 just before his GCSE’s 15 years ago. He struggled and internalised his anger and frustration at being T1, although I think it helped that his best friend at the time was severely nut allergic so they were able to commiserate with each other. It is difficult when they won’t communicate and T1 really is a life changing diagnosis.

There are a number of public figures who are T1 and talk about it (the England rugby player Henry Slade is very frank about his diagnosis and how he copes- he’s put videos on YouTube about it). Hugs to you OP and I hope your son will accept any help that’s offered to him

You poor thing, what a shock ! Maybe the scare will help as alcohol is not great with T1 .
My brother died from ketoacidosis after a drinking binge. He was older than your son at 27 but maybe your boy will learn a lesson from this ?

My brother struggled with his diagnosis and this may have led to the drinking . Impress of your son how lucky he is to have CGM, pumps etc. and that if he leads a healthy life he should be able to lead a long life !

Best of luck and hope he gets some help if he needs it .

He won’t engage with fellow Type 1s as he says all they have in common is the condition! Which is of course a lot! I’ve tried to get him to follow some really inspiring T1s on SM but he ignores. Still in denial I think

That’s very common, OP. It can be a way of distancing yourself from the condition - ie saying “I’m not one of those people with Type 1, I’m still me” or it can be because of still resolving anger. People always understand upset at a Type 1 diagnosis, but they don’t realise there’s often a deep anger. So, joining in with happy Type 1s who are managing ok is hard because you don’t feel anything like them - you want to rant and rage.

My tips are to allow him to speak up about his feelings to him and acknowledge they’re all valid and that, yes, it is shit. Then, at appropriate opportunities, mention how proud you are at his strength. Talk about the future - the possibilities of a cure, and why it’s sensible to stay healthy in the meantime. Also, talk about everything but diabetes. Let him know that he’s still exactly the same person. Keep him interested in his hobbies and his hopes and dreams.

My aunt (medic) treated a boy who did this. He died, only 13.

So sad teens don’t get it.

😩😩😩😩😩
for the 409th time. He's DIABETIC it's a whole different risk level!!

not that ANY 14 yo should be drinking a whole bottle if vodka & no adult should be normalising that!

Not normalising it at all, just saying we all know one dumb kid who did this. At least OP knows and can do something about it now, and that her DS is ok.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2E0rxoPUd0rojq9YnmylMd?si=AMHJd5FvRaO07iJjaSxJyw

There is a podcast called off menu with a couple of comedians, Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Ed Gamble is a type one diabetic and in this episode he is talking to James Norton who is, too. Your son might like to hear it.

Dont even think of punishing him - he's grieving for the changed life he's been handed, for always being different from his friends, for the possible health challenges he'll face lifelong.

His adolescent brain is struggling right now.

He needs a network, role models, older boys and men who live with it and with whom he has more in common than just a diagnosis.

That's the focus - finding it, and helping him adjust and adapt.

There was a scientific study I came across that found that financial incentives can help improve young people's adherence to managing their health condition. Improved management behaviours.

I know as a parent that probably sounds like bribery but I suppose it taps into a motivation that we all share.

I have a chronic health condition as an adult and being able to continue to work and earn money is a motivator in sticking to taking the tablets which have side effects and doing all the boring stuff.

I also remember at one point having a rational conversation with myself about consequences.

At the end of the day, not taking my tablet is a choice I could take. I don't have to take it.

But, if I didn't take it, I'd likely upset family and friends as I would get more ill, I would also have to rely more on the health system. And probably be badly affected health wise.

Or I can take a treatment and live with a few side effects.

Kind of like a rational bargaining in my brain with it.

I was really struggling with the meds at that point and went for a long walk to think about it.

It helped. So I was like OK I will take it. I'm not saying I love it, but I take it.

It took me about 8 years post diagnosis of my condition to reach acceptance.

Defo recommend a good long walk. Also easier to open up if you are walking side by side.

Finding support groups also helped. I'm now sort of a semi advocate for other people with the condition and support people who are newly diagnosed. So positives can come from it.

One thing I did when I was first diagnosed was write a list of all the positive things I could think of e.g I'm not dead, it could be worse, I have XYZ respurce available to me and so on.

And then every year I wrote a list of things I had learned that year.

I also have a colourful folder with all my appointments stuff in it that I take to check ups. I write a list of questions down before hand etc.

There may be some books on Amazon about how to live with a conditon (although I did find a lot of them were related to things like CFS which isn't at all what I have).

But maybe the charity Diabetes UK will have some resources that can help.

Getting pissed on vodka down the park was standard teenager behaviour when I was growing up. Of course with him being diabetic he has ended up hospitalised (mind you it would hospitalise most diabatic or not) How big was the bottle?

There is a balance to be had here. He needs to be able to feel like a normal teenager without endangering himself. I'm sure this will be a learning curve for him, it usually takes a being sick and a hideous hangover to discover your limit.

His comments regarding his T1 are the concern. He maybe would benefit from talking to someone.

Oh god, I remember doing this with some friends I had over when we were about the same age. My mum had been out and came home late to find one girl lying half in, half out of the front door giggling feebly, another passed out and covered in sick and me. I was so drunk myself I can't actually remember what state I was in. Needless to say, she wasn't very impressed.

Somehow between us we got the puking one cleaned up and we all went to bed. Felt absolutely dreadful in the morning, but my mum made me and the puker go out with said puker's parents when they came to collect her and invited us to go on a dog walk in the Cotswold hills with them. 🤮 Her parents would have gone insane if they knew what we had done, so we had to pretend to be fine while trekking about feeling like absolute death. Served us right, frankly.

I think a fair proportion of teenagers are going to do this at some point - there doesn't necessarily have to be something very wrong mentally or behaviourally. I would be inclined to think his depressive comments are at least partly the alcohol talking, but you know him best. When he's feeling better, I would check in with him about how he is doing mentally, and go from there.

I have a type 1 DD who struggled around the same age. We went through a few years of absolute hell, but with counselling and loads of support from school, home and then work, she's through the other side, no longer drinks and is about to have her second baby and her diabetes has never been so well controlled.

It's so hard for teens realising that this is for the rest of their life and they always have to check their blood sugars before they eat or drink anything.

Sending you both lots of hugs.

It will also affect his social life. My dd is 12 and has a friend who is allowed to drink at home. She said she literally has cans of cider in her bedroom. She offered dd a drink last time they had a sleepover, which is how all this came out. Dd didn’t want it, but said her friend is allowed to drink regularly at home. Nope, she’s now not allowed sleepovers with said friend.

So you are punishing her for doing the right thing? Couldn't you read the riot act tot he friend's parents that your DD is not to be offered alcohol?

A month on @MumofDrunkTeen how is he coping with injections /diabeties