How did your child achieve Outstanding

[AlertEagle]

Hello, child in Y2 has only one Outstanding in Reading, rest of the subjects are Working At The Expected Level. I’ve been helping him a lot at home with the help of cgp books. I thought he would get more Outstanding but didn’t. I want to ask any parents of children who have got outstanding in all subjects how did you do it, is your child just clever or you helped them and if you did how did you achieve it. Thank you

I read every day, I’m a book worm.

The teachers know what the child’s natural ability is, you can hothouse them at home as much as you want but the teachers will know how quickly each child understands what they’re being taught.

Both my dc were classed as gifted and talented at infants and juniors, they both did well at secondary but nothing outstanding. Dd has just got a first at university and ds never wants to step foot in a classroom/lecture again 😂

just support their learning and as others have said make it fun not about grades

I want to continue making him read every day for 15 min during the school holidays and maybe do a bit of handwriting because his handwriting is not quite there yet.

Please don't - just don't.

There are dozens of experienced teachers and parents on here who have been telling you to back off on the academic stuff and suggesting better things that you might do with your son. But on you go - wanting to know how you can get him to outstanding.

Childhood is a precious time - don't waste it for him. Don't make reading a daily chore in his holidays.

If he were seriously struggling in school you need to discuss with teachers. But you would still need to let him be a child and have his holidays.

Drop this obsession with test results.

Agree. I grew up in the 60s/70s and reading was my “thing”. I could read and write aged 4. I don’t think you can hothouse kids to be “outstanding”. They have to be immersed in a subject and derive enjoyment from it.

Exactly this. My parents both left school at 14 without qualifications, largely because being working class in East London in the seventies that's what you did, you got a job. So they didn't have the academic background to teach me but they created an environment where I was never too young to know, I could ask any questions I lined and they would do their best to find out, we used the library a lot, they both took an interest in current affairs which were openly discussed. They also both had a fantastic work ethic and a 'yes that's try that, why not!'outlook on life. Which I think set me up to learn better than drilling and tutors.

I was the first person in my family to go to uni, I now have two undergrad degrees, a Masters and professional qualifications, with all but the first degree completed while working full time.

My eldest was outstanding across the board, because they are naturally extremely academic. Middle and youngest were fairly middling with the odd subject where they shone.

They are now adults and incidentally the younger two have much better jobs than the eldest. I think it’s because they’re used to working harder for their results, whereas their brother was able to coast and put in very little effort and still come out on top. This obviously will only take a person so far!

GD is greater depth. My son did struggle with handwriting in yr 1 but school did some small group work with him and taught him cursive. It's much faster and smoother for them. As an aside, schools are very desperate for all children to hold a pencil with the basic tripod grip. Both of my boys use the modified tripod with two fingers on top of the pencil, and so does my friend's very clever son. I didn't force handwriting as it can make them more reluctant to try.

Is he summer-born? DC1 is and only started to show their academic strength towards the middle of year 6. DC1 was the highest achiever in their school at GCSE and A-Level and has just graduated with a 1st in a STEM subject.

In general, what helps is encouraging a love of reading and taking them out and about to many different places. DC1 is now an adult but has a constant thirst for knowledge and learning.

He’s January born. He’s doing well in school it was his teacher expecting him to achieve outstanding. He’s not very good with his handwriting as they are doing cursive.

Honestly, absolutely nothing specifically for sats. My daughter has a naturally studious and diligent nature so I think she was always good learner in class. Although I am very light tough in the formal sense, I tried to provide a playful hone environment where reading was always encouraged. I buy as many books as they like and take my children to interesting places like galleries and off beat holiday destinations...not just fly and flop (although she loves those too!).
How much difference that all.made, I'm.not sure...she's just a bright girl who has had good teachers and a happy, loved, interesting life.
Relax with your daughter, read books and be supportive with homework in a proportionate way. Don't over burden her with your expectations or make her feel your disappointment if she doesn't meet your aspirations.
I should say, I am a teacher too so see this from both sides of the coin.

Interesting points made in this thread. My son’s teacher (year 3) has said if he applied himself he could be working at greater depth but my son gets too distracted. He reads a lot, constantly head in book and loves maths. Creative writing or any writing is his downfall. Not sure how to help him achieve that but more. I believe education unlocks potential - so I want him to be able to unlock that door that is keeping him at expected, for him, not me. Not sure how I can help him further.

Genuine question, is “expected” bad then? I thought it was fine but does it really mean below average?

No. Expected means what it says: the child has reached the expected standard. Also known as age related. Nothing to worry about at all.

I think you are responding to the OPs question and responding very strongly to her reasonable post.

It's definitely a good idea to get him to read to you over the summer holidays. Obviously don't force it. There will be days you are too busy or tired, but generally it works well to just be part of routine. My children read almost every day. It's not a chore (usually!) Also you can read to him and discuss as you go, which will help comprehension. We often 'predict' the next page e.g. 'uh oh he just kicked the football really hard, what do you think will happen?' With handwriting, I would try and make it purposeful e.g write a shopping list, a list of where you want to visit, a postcard to Grannie about your day out, a diary of the holidays sticking in photos too.

Apparently children lose half a term of progress over the summer holidays. We find continuing to read helps keep them ticking over. We like to do things like board games too, which help with maths. We even to 'learning' once or twice a week where we do some more structured maths and the kids enjoy this. They still get many hours to run around the garden, build Lego, go swimming etc.

We read a lot over the summer as the local library often had a reading challenge and my kids loved going to the library. A local charity shop is also a cheap way to find a new book.

we did lots of outings to local museums (loads of opportunity to practice reading), nature reserves, map reading when they were older etc. we played loads of games… reading instructions together, baking or cooking following a recipe. Just lots of activities that involved reading or counting or discussion which were playing or doing things together.
i didn’t focus on any school things at home but just found other ways to do the skills.

One of my children had Learning Support from Reception to Yr2 they have just graduated from Cambridge. Please relax; pushing at a young age causes stress anxiety. I know a number of pushy families where the children have crashed out of uni, they have no idea how to work without the constant guidance of a parent.

DDs both have outstanding in a few areas. Part of it I'm sure is that they're just naturally pretty bright. DH and I are both reasonably intelligent, university educated etc so perhaps some of it is nature and some is nurture.

What I do think helps is that we have always encouraged reading. DH and I also read so the children see us reading for pleasure too. So we have books everywhere, we are regular visitors to the library and currently doing the summer reading challenge which we do with them every year. I let them read whatever they would like to even if I personally think it's rubbish as I want them to enjoy it and not see it as a chore. We have a quiet hour between 7 and 8pm every evening before they go to bed where we all read or they can draw or colour and I think that has naturally helped them either with pencil grip, writing and reading. Although DD2 struggles with her handwriting still so it's not all perfect.

We will watch a lot of documentaries together that aren't necessarily designed for children but they can engage with. Things like David Attenborough nature programmes or the Brian Cox space documentaries on iPlayer or Digging for Britain. They may get bored and wander off halfway through but some of it goes in and I think that has definitely helped them with their marks for Science, History and Geography at school. They like programmes like Blue Peter and Horrible Histories (they're 8 and 6) which I encourage and then they also watch some absolute dross on YouTube so it's not all educational!

Things like playing board games together, enjoying books, visiting museums, doing quizzes, writing stories, being interested in the world etc all help and I think that's really all you can do. Encourage them and provide them with opportunities for learning but don't obsess over grades and tests.

My son is among the youngest in his class and has outstanding in all subjects. I haven't done anything, it's all been driven by him. I was similar so assume it's genetic. Just respond to his interests.

Honestly, I taught them both on top of school learning. I wanted them to see learning wasn’t stressful and wasn’t hard - it’s just being interested in life.

Eldest - I taught them to read at home using a home programme but it was daily really - learning to count out the pegs for me to hang up the washing. 10 pegs out and then can you do pairs, put them in arrays and sort them. I taught them concepts such as nothing or zero. Reading was 10 minutes a day using a reading programme I found and they were reading by the time they went school. Library every Saturday morning - they got 7 books each. Stories every night. But everything was learning and learning is life. We play a lot of board games or they make up games.

Mine went through a stage of why, why, why and I tried to answer them and not shut them down. Maths and English are the key. I don’t see learning as stressful - I’m a teacher, I see it as lovely. I praised effort not results and praise resilience. They were doing World War Two at school, great - off to Bletchley Park and do some cyphers. But also teaching them it’s ok to fail and find something hard. It’s ok to change hobbies. It’s ok to do nothing and stare into space. Also that exercise and down time is vital for your mental and emotional health. Eldest had a reading age of 18 by age 11 and got all GCSEs at level 9. A levels results, we are waiting on but predicted straight A*. I made sure not to impose my choices on them eg I wanted them to do History GCSE and they didn’t like History but I kept quiet and let them do RE, as it wasn’t about me. Eldest was Year 8 when Covid hit, and they had all the CGP books and we worked through them - nothing else to do!

I believed that school only teach them 5 hours a day for about 40 weeks of the year, at 5 days a week in term time and it’s up to parents to do the rest.

We didn’t have any computer games or mobile phones until they were about 14. Numbers taught using pegs, cars, maps, uno etc

Youngest has just finished primary and had some challenges to overcome as they are SEN. Firstly, it was a battle to get them help, but I was like a dog with a bone and didn’t give up and when they are having support, I did it small but regular reinforcement at home. Lots of past papers at SATs. They were Year 1 during Covid and I taught them at home - 7 days a week (nothing else to do!) so the gap narrowed. They have just finished Year 6 and are GD at everything.

I’m also a believer that pressure is bad if it is bullying, but showing support and interest isn’t.

They all worked on the kitchen table up until about Year 8. No devices upstairs in bedrooms - none. Computers in study if needed. Family meal in evening. Some hobbies but not every single night.

Radio 4 or classic fm, is on a lot of the time. Audio books encouraged. Hobbies and challenges are encouraged, as are regular discussions. Even random ones eg Mum what do you think of Donal Trump? Who are they? Why are they controversial etc? Not just ‘he’s …….’.

Conversations and check ins, youngest, ok you are off to secondary school what would you like to do for hobbies? - they said learn guitar and German. Their school doesn’t do German / I don’t know German. But we have now a German school textbook year 7 and Duolingo on the iPad for 10 minutes a day. Also said they wanted to learn guitar - I can’t play guitar so asked around. They said they didn’t want to do grades they wanted to learn to play in the band and make friends so we found a cool teacher to make that happen.

I think there is a fine line between pressure and relentless drive of some parents and support and fun and challenge.

Not all children will find all things easy. For some children like my youngest who needed lots of SALT and still does- they were massively ‘behind’ in certain things like spellings - now they aren’t. It’s ok though to fail. Failing is also learning.

It hasn’t been easy. I was a single, full time working parent up until 2 years ago and I got no help and support from family and my ex husband was very unsupportive. We’ve had a lot of disasters along the way - making an Egyptian death mask was just one of those! Honestly it was the worse thing ever 🤣 but I phoned a friend who was an Art Teacher and said - oh my goodness I can’t do this and he said ok you need to do this.. and came up with an alternative.

I am not an expert. Languages =no chance - so I’m not afraid of asking for help or support or getting a tutor in. My eldest had a Spanish and French tutor again not just any tutor someone that got the best out of them.

I do feel that some parents have a very different view - eg let them do nothing outside of school it’s the school job to educate - is a mantra from some parents. Mine were finished and back by 3.30 pm or in my teaching room (!). From 3 pm until 9 pm every night is 6 hours which is longer than school hours. I feel it’s my job to educate them but you have a grow a want or thirst and it’s not always easy.

Not every child will be outstanding, not every child will be top of the class it’s not possible. I always remember the glee and sheer joy from my eldest- when my eldest learnt to ride a bike ( something that defeated them for years) at the age of 17 for their Gold D of E, the sheer joy of a video riding a bike (and not into a hedge!). They were cycling albeit slowly and wobbling a lap in the park whilst the 10 year old lapped them at least 3 times round the same lap in the park. Ask them right now what their biggest achievement is : they would say; getting a job this summer - minimum wage and hospitality and washer up and learning how hard it is and getting so much respect for people that do that job and learning to finally ride a bike in Year 12/13. Not the grades!

It’s ‘greater depth’ if you’re referring to academic achievement.
outstanding would refer to an effort grade more likely.

in answer to your question, other than hear them read, nothing. We haven’t done extra study books or even homework at primary. It’s 99% down to natural ability and the child’s attitude. My DC didn’t start getting GD until the last 2 years of primary though.

I would not put that kind of pressure on your child. It tends to result in misery and sense of failure when they get “below average” in just one area.

My son and daughter both got above in three (not handwriting) I have done nothing extra with them, son I expect is neurodiverse - he was teaching maths to some of the class in year 5! Daughter loves to read so has always been forward with her English and spellings, during lockdown I noticed she struggled with maths so we focused on that a lot in lockdown and back at school it just seemed to click and she got it. It makes no difference so I wouldn’t stress too much just be supportive, read with your child and make sure they have a good balance.