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Has useless parenting now spilled over into how people treat their dogs?

123 replies

Gumbo · 18/07/2025 10:42

This morning I went for an early walk to the shop along a lovely path beside a river. The path is used by everyone (including cyclists) so it's normal to encounter a wide range of people on it - although because it was early hardly anyone was about.

I could see a woman with a dog (not on a lead) walking towards me. It was clear that the dog had been in the river, and since it had been raining it was also very muddy. As I got closer I heard the woman say to the dog, "gentle, 'Milo'", then as the dog started heading in my direction, she said it a couple more times. The dog completely ignored her and leapt onto me, cheerfully planting copious amounts of mud all over my clean top and trousers. I was telling the dog to get down, while also calling to the woman to get him off me as he was so muddy. She pointlessly stood there telling the sodding dog to be gentle...

I think I may have told the woman she was a fucking idiot.

I've seen this sort of ineffective parenting, where the kid continues to do what it wants knowing there will be no repercussions, so was wondering whether this is now the same lot of people who are also unable to control their dogs?

OP posts:
cramptramp · 20/07/2025 08:49

OP I would have aimed a knee at that dog jumping up on you. I absolutely agree with you. I know of people who have been ‘unable’ to housetrain their dogs properly so they use the house as a toilet at night and if they are ever left for any time.

PeonyPatch · 20/07/2025 08:51

Fragmentedbrain · 18/07/2025 10:54

I tried to kick a dog that did this (it was a hard repetitive leap as the owner just stood there). It ran away at that point but the owner looked aghast like how COULD YOU.

Quite easily, mate.

You tried to kick a dog, and you’re saying quite easily mate?

Paints a certain picture of you…

LindaMo2 · 20/07/2025 08:53

I have a lady I see every morning walking her dog. He is friendly but barks loudly at all dogs he sees. Her response (whilst holding the lead which is at full stretch) is to say something like ‘don’t be such a naughty boy Billy’ in a gentle voice. One day I approached her (with my quiet, well behaved dog) and suggested she preempted him and just gave a sharp jerk on the lead (I showed her how to do it, to distract not to hurt him) and just say a sharp no, praising when he wasn’t barking. We practiced, using my dog as ‘bait’. At first she stretched out the nooooo and said it gently. I explained it was about tone, not the word itself. ‘No’ is a short, sharp word. Dogs may respond to phrases and tone of voice but they don’t understand English. She soon got the hang and took control. A week later and he is a different dog 🥰. It’s just about training the owner 😂😂

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ridl14 · 20/07/2025 08:57

I don't know if it's worse than in previous years but was quite annoyed this week - out for a walk with my baby and my friend and her two kids. She's never taught them to be scared of dogs (though quite reasonable to teach caution) but they have a real fear of them.

Her 7yo DD was in tears seeing a greyhound bounding around off a lead and coming towards us, we'd told her the dog wasn't paying attention to her but she was really scared. So we stood so she was behind my pram and with me and friend between DD and the path.

The dog owner was basically laughing at us as he went past, my friend even said "sorry, it's completely irrational" but I thought it seemed really callous not to make any effort to gather his dog, and to react like that seeing a child in tears. We crossed paths with them later in the park again and it was the same!

Edit: I have to say, I have come across many more responsible dog owners who have held their dog on a lead by their side as I walked past with the pram. Assuming their dogs were well behaved anyway but it was just kind and reassuring to see that

Fleur405 · 20/07/2025 09:01

I do think the number of people with dogs who have zero idea how to control them has gone up significantly in recent years - especially since covid. I can’t understand it. Aside from the fact some people are scared of/dislike dogs and it’s therefore antisocial not to factor that in, how can you keep your own dog safe if you have no control over it?

For the record I’m a huge dog lover.

spoonbillstretford · 20/07/2025 09:03

Irresponsible parenting is not a new phenomenon. And a lot of people who have dogs have never had kids.

spoonbillstretford · 20/07/2025 09:06

verycloakanddaggers · 19/07/2025 16:11

Was the world a better place when more people treated both their kids and their dogs with violence?

There was no golden age of parenting or dog ownership.

This.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 20/07/2025 09:19

I recently lost my temper and told a man that if he couldn't stop his dog from chasing around my 6 year old (who was scared, and at one point started crying) then it should never be off lead. We were actually on a beach that is supposed to be dog free in the summer, so really the dog shouldn't be there at all, so I think saying it should be on a lead was pretty reasonable! A random uninvolved woman (who also had an off lead dog on the dog free beach) started lecturing me saying that I must be teaching my child to be scared of dogs and would make him more anxious by making a fuss. She said the dog was 'clearly playing'. The dog owner clearly thought the whole thing was very amusing, including that I got upset (I wasn't crying or screaming or anything, but I did raise my voice in saying the dog should be on the lead).

I actually like dogs - we had dogs when I was growing up - but people have gone absolutely bonkers over them.

JohnofWessex · 20/07/2025 09:29

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 20/07/2025 09:19

I recently lost my temper and told a man that if he couldn't stop his dog from chasing around my 6 year old (who was scared, and at one point started crying) then it should never be off lead. We were actually on a beach that is supposed to be dog free in the summer, so really the dog shouldn't be there at all, so I think saying it should be on a lead was pretty reasonable! A random uninvolved woman (who also had an off lead dog on the dog free beach) started lecturing me saying that I must be teaching my child to be scared of dogs and would make him more anxious by making a fuss. She said the dog was 'clearly playing'. The dog owner clearly thought the whole thing was very amusing, including that I got upset (I wasn't crying or screaming or anything, but I did raise my voice in saying the dog should be on the lead).

I actually like dogs - we had dogs when I was growing up - but people have gone absolutely bonkers over them.

Pick up a suitable object and threaten give the dog a good wack with it - follow up if needed, you are allowed

TheaBrandt1 · 20/07/2025 09:31

More I felt angry just reading that. The arrogance of those taking dogs on a dog free beach.

We would seek out dog free beaches when ours were toddlers. Still remember the image of a woman with her nose literally in the air walking her enormous dog smack through the beach. The entitlement was astounding.

Im indifferent to dogs but get pissed off when they encroach on me. One large dog leapt up at me out of nowhere on a walk muddy paw marks on both my shoulders. The wet owner’s response? “He never does that”. Well he just bloody did you prat.

JustBiscoff · 20/07/2025 09:31

1000DayChallenge · 18/07/2025 10:50

Absolutely.

There was a post on here the other day from a women who was out for a picnic with her special needs son who was scared of dogs. In order to protect him from a dog (not saying the dog was dangerous, but her son was frightened) I think they hid, and the dog ate their picnic

My daughter works in a garden centre that allowed dogs, but so mych expensive stuff was getting ruined by dogs weeing on it, that they banned them. There was so much backlash that they’ve allowed them again

This wouldn’t be at Gates by any chance? I remember the backlash some months ago!

TheaBrandt1 · 20/07/2025 09:34

My dad kicked off a yappy dog in a shop that lunged at my sister who was in her buggy so couldn’t get away. The dog owner was outraged but dad was unrepentant. If your dog approaches others and you don’t like their response to your dog that’s on the owner for not controlling or training it better.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 20/07/2025 09:43

JohnofWessex · 20/07/2025 09:29

Pick up a suitable object and threaten give the dog a good wack with it - follow up if needed, you are allowed

I wanted to whack the owner, not the dog!

I think the issue is there is such a disconnect between how people see their dogs and how others experience them. This was a small staffy type, which I think the owner thought was clearly playful and harmless, but was terrifying to a 6 year old. Unfortunately, his fear of dogs actually comes from a similarly stupid owner. When he was 4 a highland terrier type dog leapt up at him in the woods and scratched his face - it drew blood. He remembers it, inaccurately, as him being bitten by the dog, which isn't what happened but I can understood how it was how it felt to him. He is now scared of all dogs and particularly that they might bite them. That owner also chuckled indulgently at their dog's shenanigans, and on that occasion I was so blindsided by it all that I didn't even say anything to her.

loveawineloveacrisp · 20/07/2025 09:46

Fragmentedbrain · 18/07/2025 10:54

I tried to kick a dog that did this (it was a hard repetitive leap as the owner just stood there). It ran away at that point but the owner looked aghast like how COULD YOU.

Quite easily, mate.

That's disgraceful. It's not the dog's fault it hasn't been trained.

Liverpool52 · 20/07/2025 11:10

loveawineloveacrisp · 20/07/2025 09:46

That's disgraceful. It's not the dog's fault it hasn't been trained.

So they should risk injury because the dog hasn't been trained? Completely agree it's not the dog's fault, but that doesn't mean a person shouldn't be allowed to defend themselves.

JohnofWessex · 20/07/2025 11:35

Thinking about it

Smear mud on the dog and owner

Gumbo · 20/07/2025 11:46

cramptramp · 20/07/2025 08:49

OP I would have aimed a knee at that dog jumping up on you. I absolutely agree with you. I know of people who have been ‘unable’ to housetrain their dogs properly so they use the house as a toilet at night and if they are ever left for any time.

😯If some people aren't even housetraining their dogs that takes useless owners to a whole new level! Surely even these people must have toilet trained their children; I mean, who wants to live in a house that smells of shit?

(And yes, the knee would probably have worked better than me using my arms to try to move the muddy animal off me...)

OP posts:
PeonyPatch · 20/07/2025 11:56

Just FYI, I am a dog owner, and I have two sausage dogs. My eldest sausage dog is 8 yo and she is very well behaved indeed. We house trained her, and we can walk her off lead. Took to puppy training classes. Very well socialised. My youngest is 11 months old and she’s been a lot trickier to house train (possibly as she’s miniature compared to standard). They are a tricky (and stubborn breed) but absolutely not dangerous at all. The pup barks a lot and anyone and everything but this shouldn’t be mistaken for poor behaviour or me being out of control. I keep them on leads in enclosed public areas and areas where there are lots of people or other dogs, but I’ll let them off lead in parks and open spaces because they need a good run around - especially pup.

I am absolutely astounded at the ignorance on this thread and how people say they are likely to kick a dog if smear mud on dog or owner. Absolutely disgraceful. My dogs are better behaved than some children, but both dogs, puppies & children can misbehave and act out of character sometimes. That is life. I take full responsibility for my dogs at all times and would expect the same from parents.

That gives no one the right to threaten abuse (kicking a dog) or vile behaviour such as smearing mud on an animal or dog owner. I’d never do that to a child or their parent.

PeonyPatch · 20/07/2025 11:58

Gumbo · 20/07/2025 11:46

😯If some people aren't even housetraining their dogs that takes useless owners to a whole new level! Surely even these people must have toilet trained their children; I mean, who wants to live in a house that smells of shit?

(And yes, the knee would probably have worked better than me using my arms to try to move the muddy animal off me...)

Nobody does, but sometimes accidents happen. Have you ever tried to housetrain a dog or a puppy yourself?

TrtseHkpr · 20/07/2025 11:58

JohnofWessex · 20/07/2025 08:34

Contact Police, Dog Warden & Highways

ALSO you can defend yourself against a dog in the same way you can a human so if they allege the dogs got kicked they wont get far with it

NB as its a farm Gun Licensing as well as they probably have shotguns and it might be a useful stick to beat them with

Edited

Thank you, I'll speak to the local dog warden

DancingDucks · 20/07/2025 11:59

Yes. The amount of useless dog owners I see on walks with my own is worrying. People with dogs that they can't control are a danger and inconvenience to everyone. Don't get a dog if you are not prepared to learn about the breed and train your dog accordingly.

GoFaster83 · 20/07/2025 12:03

Devilsmommy · 18/07/2025 11:58

This is exactly what I'd do. Telling me your dog is friendly is fucking pointless because to a dog I'm not

So you would potentially deliberately cause internal injuries to an animal because it jumps at you? I mean if it attacks aggressively sure, but if its a lack of training from an ineffective owner do you really think that's ok? The seagull chick outside has been shouting for a week and it's annoying as fuck. Im not going to go out and kick the dude.

Devilsmommy · 20/07/2025 12:06

GoFaster83 · 20/07/2025 12:03

So you would potentially deliberately cause internal injuries to an animal because it jumps at you? I mean if it attacks aggressively sure, but if its a lack of training from an ineffective owner do you really think that's ok? The seagull chick outside has been shouting for a week and it's annoying as fuck. Im not going to go out and kick the dude.

Yes I am. If you don't want your dog to get a kick then keep it the fuck away. The seagull is completely different because it isn't physically invading your space. Though I get the noise would be annoying.

GoFaster83 · 20/07/2025 12:08

Dogs jump. And its annoying, im not saying otherwise. My dog has been trained not to unless someone invites her up for a high 10. But I would have to feel very very threatened to ever kick an animal.

Britneyfan · 20/07/2025 12:18

SaintGermain · 18/07/2025 13:38

I have six dogs, all large breeds except for one. All under control.

I despair when I see a Cockapoo (ginger/tan curly haired cross breed) as I’ve yet to see one that has been trained and is under control.

How can anyone live with the over excited yapping is beyond me but the owners seem to think that because it’s a small, cute little dog, no one is going to mind it in its usually frenzied state of jumping all over your dogs or you.

I can’t stand this breed mix, it appears to be very popular with first time dog owners who go have no concept of training, diet or how to manage a dogs behaviour when out.

Nearly every owner I’ve met of these pesky dogs has admitted they haven’t done any training other than their own (feeble) efforts and don’t understand the importance of socialising the dog at all young age.

A good friend has one of these dogs, she is a first time dog owner but has really put in the effort to train him and look after him, and he’s super well behaved and sweet. It doesn’t jump or yap at all. She takes him for an hour long walk every day, rain or shine, which I was impressed by as she was not a walker before she got a dog!