Is it time for me to block this 'friend'?

[LoungingInMyPJs]

I use the term friend loosely as I've never physically met this person and probably never will.

So, I have a number of chronic health issues and have joined several FB support groups over the years which have been very helpful.

Around 10 years ago a fellow sufferer of one of my health issues started private messaging me as we had very similar symptoms. She seemed lovely so we exchanged numbers and have been messaging each other almost daily since (mainly her messaging me these days tbh).

However, it became apparent early on that she has health anxiety. She will flip between one issue to another. Over the last few years she seems to have gained control over the health issue we had in common and I don't often find her complaining about those but she still messages me daily and often several times a day regarding many, many tiny problems. For example she will send me photos of a gnat bite convinced she will get sepsis, a pain in her big toe will be bone cancer, another photo of her sore mouth because it is mouth cancer and on and on it goes. She will ask me time and again is she ok, what would I do, have I ever experienced this etc? On and on.

I'm a kind person and spend my time helping people whenever I can but this is getting draining. I have a huge amount of stress in my life right now, not only due to the exacerbation of a health issue that she doesn't have and for which I am awaiting surgery for but I also care for a parent with multiple serious health issues including dementia and cancer. I also have kids at home, hers are grown adults who no longer live at home.

I am drained all day, every day.

This 'friend' is fully aware of my life struggles but rarely acknowledges them (My parent has been in hospital for the last 3 weeks and she's only asked about it once - my RL bf messages me every day asking how things are). Every time my phone goes ping, ping, ping my DH will say 'oh bloody hell, is that Sue again? Isn't it about time you blocked her'?

I hate the thought of blocking someone, I'd need to block her on everything (WA, FB, IG etc), it seems so harsh, she obviously needs reassurance and a friendly message back but I don't have that to give right now, my own life is in the pan atm.

What would you do? Is it time to cut the ties with this person? I'm dreading doing such a thing, I've never blocked someone from my life before.

Yes if you have already told her to stop, or suggested a weekly catch up or whatever. If not then I’d offer her this one opportunity . Then I’d block if she continued.

Yes, you do need to get a grip on this. But you don’t have to block her. At least not yet.

Start by replying more slowly. Wait an hour on the first day before replying, two hours on the second day, four hours on the 3rd etc until it’s a couple of days between replies. There’s no need to explain or apologise for the delay in replying. It will be hard but, you can be sure she will reduce her bombardment. If she asks you why you haven’t replied or if there is anything wrong, tell her the truth that you are incredibly busy at the moment. Then suggest a weekly catch up. That is a completely reasonable thing to do. There should be no conflict or offence involved.

This will involve a certain amount of discipline on your part for perhaps 2 or 3 weeks and then things will be back to a reasonable level of contact given your present situation.

If your friend can’t handle that then, yes you may have to block. But try it first. I have done this to a couple of friends and it meant that our friendship went back to something I could handle, without them being dumped. Because I did like them, I just didn’t like being bombarded.