Bumble BFF and The London Lonely Girl’s Group

[SnugGreyAnt]

Has anyone had any good experiences on Bumble BFF or this Facebook group called The London Lonely Girl’s Group which has over 100000 members?

I live in London and am turning 40 next year. All my friends have now moved out of London recently and I told myself to be brave and try to make more friends.

To be honest my experiences were horrific! Particularly with the women off that Facebook group. I met with several women separately (for an introvert like me it took a lot of guts) and I found them all really negative, whiny,
moaning about men and everything else.

They all were in therapy (one woman broke down 2 minutes after I said hello because she had just split up with her boyfriend). They were all like this.

I know someone mean will say its me and I’m
the problem. But I do have friends that are all good socially and I think I am quite good socially. I also found the 2 women I met off Bumble BFF to be extreme left wingers who were very angry about politics constantly. One said she wanted the UK to go down! The other developed an obsession with my best friend and kept contacting her on social media repeatedly. I think she was desperate for friends and that’s why she became obsessed with my friends.

To be honest, my experiences were so bad I don’t think I can handle trying to make friends again for a while!

I’m interested in this too- I’m the same age as you and would just like a few friends to go to the theatre with. DS in late primary school and I’ve drifted from nct/ school mum friends but just want someone to go to the theatre with, not act as a free therapist.

Have you tried making friends through a mutual interest as a first port of call? Might be a better starting point. I tried Peanut once which is essentially BBFF for parents and similar - nothing in common as a starting point, and you tend to post there when you’re desperate and in the doldrums so it’s not a great pool to fish from.

The whining and negativity is probably why they’re lonely tbh!

You don't seem to be vetting people before you meet them. It might be an idea to chat for a while and dodge those who display extreme views or whine a lot.

Approach it like dating and just meet up for a quick coffee at first to see if you click. If people burst into tears or start ranting about Stalin, make a quick exit.

I’d be a bit wary of anything calling itself a ‘Lonely Girls’ Group’ - I get that it’s for women but the name sounds more like a support organisation for young teenagers & as someone upthread said, something you’d go to if you were in the doldrums.

I'd highly recommend Meetup, there's an app or you can use the website. I belong to several walking/hiking groups and it's a great way to meet people, there's no pressure you can drop in and out of conversations as you like, see some nice places and get some exercise! Some organise weekends away too which can be good.

I also belong to a theatre group and probably go once a month. I've been going for several years, there's a core group of people who attend and it's nice to catch up ... we usually go for a drink afterwards and chat about the play.

I've joined dining out groups and other random stuff, board game afternoons, brunches etc. Like any situation, you're not going to hit it off with everyone but I've made a couple of good friends who I see outside of the groups. I'm in London and had a similar situation to another poster when several friends left for pastures new a few years back.

Thanks for your replies. I didn’t vet anyone I met at all in advance which in hindsight was probably naive of me.

I met up with anyone who liked my post on the Lonely Girls Group and anyone who I matched with on Bumble BFF.

I assumed it was a numbers game and if I met with loads of random strangers I would click with them. Totally wrong of me and I will be more selective in future!! I’m not going to give up but may try Meet up.com and meet with women I have a mutual interest with.

My friend just went to a TimeLeft event - never heard of them before but looks cool. Dinner with 3 strangers. Worth a shot op??

Why not arrange a group meet up via the FB group /BFF or meet up, get a group of 5 -10 people together to go for a drink/ see a show. Better use of your time to see if you click with anyone.

I'm in a cinema /theatre WhatsApp group with some women I met through a walking group, we'll post if there's something we fancy seeing to see who else is interested.