I have no one I can talk to, can I talk to you?

[Cliffedge25]

My anxiousness comes from my job, my work and my constant struggle with imposter syndrome.

Today when presenting something I was dreading, people from a particular dept pounced on me yet again. But there were others too. In the room were 4 of the big bosses and a person from HR too. I was jumped on. It was just awful.

I noticed that some of the bosses went off into a room at lunch time (it’s been a full day 2. Departmental meeting) and when they came back, mood had definitely changed.

I have an awful dreaded feeling that this is not going to go well from here on in.
I think they want me gone.
I am the main wage earner. I feel so low and know that they just don’t care.

I think that I am not being paranoid, but need a level head to make a plan for when HR come at me with letting me go. (I’ve been with them for 4 years)

There are no jobs in my field and have not been for about a year so while I’m desperately searching, it’s not good.

I’m sorry you had a bad day. I don’t think they can just sack you if you have been there for four years. They need to give you a warning and put you on probation first. You might be reading too much into all of this. It sounds as if you need some counselling to deal with your imposter syndrome. Also, in future, when you have to do a presentation you need to practice it several times. I once found myself doing a presentation to the top boss and his side kicks. I was shaking so much I had sit on the table so I know how difficult it can be.

Practiced until the cows come home. Still not good enough and got pounced on.

Can you speak to the most approachable senior to you and say xyz presentations are something you find difficult, what do they suggest to support you?

Were you really jumped on or were they trying to do their job?

Good idea.
Thank you