Keeping DC friendship issues proportionate

[CokeZeroPlease]

I’ve really struggled with this since dc started secondary school. Primary sxhooo was pretty easy and stable but since starting secondary it either seems they have a great day or a bad day. It’s generally girls friendships issues waxing and waning we had a good few weeks now they’ve raised their head again. I don’t seem to be able to keep it in perspective however , I’ve spent most of the day anxious and in tears and unable to focus , my sensible mind knows this is totally disproportionate and I cannot insulate them from everything all I can do is make sure she has a good circle of friends out of achool and in confident and resilient (which she is these days are never nice but they tend to all bounce back fairly quickly) I started anti d in March for this and they initially helped but I don’t feel they do anymore and I am reluctant to keep upping.

Out of interest OP what were your teen years like? Is it bringing up stuff from the past for you? I think that often happens with issues our kids face.
Thr most important thing here is that she bounces back from it so you’ve brought up a child who can do that

I totally get you OP I really struggle with any friendship issues my children have. It’s just so hard to see your child going through something like that.

I agree with you that friendships outside of school are really important.

You don’t say how old she is but I found that there was a lot of friendships changed in year seven. Primary school relationships are grown out of and they find friends that have more things in common than the friends they had when they were younger. Primary school friendships can be quite circumstantial.

Thank you all
mine were ok - I was at a very small school for secondary so didn’t have a massive pool and whilst I never felt like I had lots of friends I did make a few good ones . I enjoyed sixth form and university much more.
she is y7, she’s had a set group that she’s been travelling to and forth with (longish journey by train) but they now seem to be leaving her out a bit and she’s been travelling by herself which I hate. Apparently it’s not the done thing to just go up to a different group and ask can I come with you ! I always make sure she has music and a magazine but it’s hard because when it’s all going well she really loves the journey with her friends but it’s not much fun our your own when they’re being cliquey.
I find it so hard to keep it in perspective compared to when she was at primary.
I’m also worried about how the peof y8/y9!” Are going to be
im not sure whether to go back to the doctor and up my meds but part of me thinks that’s not dealing with the root cause of it

OP I don’t have any advice but I am also like this, I really stress over the silliest of things when it comes to my DC’s friendships. I know it comes from my complete inability to make friends and how this has affected me my whole life so I feel guilty that I haven’t been able to model social behaviours to them and worry that I haven’t doomed them to a friendless state (they do have friends so this is completely irrational but there you go!).