3 year old keeps running off everywhere we go

[Blondiecakes]

Hi everyone,

my son turned 3 in May, he doesn’t speak yet so I’m unsure of his level of understanding, but he runs off every time we go out. He refuses to hold hand, he will very rarely follow me and if he does it will be for a minute or two and with a lot of prompting. He has a harness but he will still try to run the opposite direction otherwise he will throw himself on the floor and refuse to move, same without a harness, so he’s strapped in a pushchair every time we go out. If we go inside a shop in his pushchair he will
scream the whole place down.
When I take him to the park he will try and open the gates and run away, every time, within minutes, I have a 1 year old so I find constantly chasing him hard, especially when it’s a bigger park.
i found a smaller park with a heavy gate that he can’t open, but it’s surrounded by flats and some ground flats keep the door to their terrace open so he will try and enter every chance he gets!

He will run and run and ignore me completely when I ask him to stop or just look back at me and smirk and continue running.

is this normal?

Thank you

No it's not normal if it's to the extent that you describe. Every 2/3 year old has probably tried to leg it one or two times, but not every time they go out. Together with not speaking at the age of 3, your child almost certainly has some additional needs.

Nope, it's not 'normal' . Your child may be neuro diverse but obviously can't just be diagnosed on the basis of being a 'runner'!

You've said your DC is non verbal too. Has this been flagged with HVs? Have you considered an assessment? Does he go to nursery?

No not typical. Has he been assessed for having extra needs? To be non verbal at 3 is unusual and combined with his not being able to follow instructions, would indicate he needs assessment/speech therapy/intervention (earier the better!)
Most toddlers will leg it now and again but to be screaming in a stroller by 3 is unusual.

It's not in line with typical development, no. Neither is being non-verbal at three.

I would go and see your HV.

Being non-verbal at 3 is the main concern here. Have you sought out a medical assessment for it?

Being a runner is normal even if excessive in some cases like your son. You'll just need to be extremely vigilant and preempt what he's going to do before he does it. If you have help, you'll need it to be able to take both kids to the park as your 3 year old seems to need constant supervision outside.

Please seek medical attention for support.

As others have said it’s not typical behavior.
the speech is a worry. What support is he getting for this ?

Also ask your GP or HV for a referral to have a hearing test; delayed speech can be connected to hearing and don’t assume his hearing is fine because he can hear a sweet wrapper rustle at 50 paces.

No it really isn’t normal. A 3YO should be speaking in short sentences and should listen to you most of the time even if impulses still get the better of them sometimes. Mine liked to do everything at a run at that age but would always stick to where we were supposed to be going, not run in a random direction or try to escape places that are supposed to be fun like the playground.

Is your little one on the health visitor's radar? Does he go to nursery or preschool?

No it's not typical for a three year old to this extent and reminds me of ND kids I've worked with over the years, the lack of speech and the running.

If he's not already being seen and assessed etc he needs to be. Early help is crucial.

Keep him safe in a pushchair op. There are larger ones for older kids (eg maclaren major) if he's getting too large for a regular buggy.

Also if he's not at nursery get him into one so he's being observed as well as it giving you some time for 1:1 with your youngest.

Its hard. No not normal as others have said. Try harness and wrist strap always and keep a treats/rewards bag with u, whatever motivates, even pictures of something, also try pictures to show him where/what your doing. So park home, snack, sitting down etc. You need to try to see if he understands any of this- probably some- and what the motivation to run is- what does he get? Your attention as you run after him? To he get to go home if he runs? Does he get put in buggy? Think through your moves. You have my sympathy because this would be hard without a 1 year old too!

Oh also try makaton-basic signs so he can tell you he's hungry/ toliet etc. Just look up on YouTube. Frustration for not being verbal won't be helping.
Also think what you do when he lays on floor / screams etc. Do you ignore? Pick him up? Put in buggy etc. Whatever you do try something else! He obviously likes the reward he's getting now