Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Is this a rude comment? - Pregnancy

17 replies

SREF2025 · 14/07/2025 20:21

So I'm currently pregnant with our 4th and final child.

We're friends with a couple and see them about once every two months.

They have one child and decided to only have 1, one reason was that she suffered from postnatal depression after birth. They both seem happy with their choice.

When they were here last time and I told them that I was pregnant again, the guy said loudly: "Again!?". Later in the evening he said that he wanted to "gift us protection for Christmas". I replied that the baby was planned.

My husband doesn't think much of it and said that he probably just tried to be funny.

However, my mother and a close friend of mine think it's really rude.

I'm not sure what to think of it. It doesn't sit right with me, but would you consider this rude?

We never make comments to them about their choice to stick with 1 child.

OP posts:
MsNevermore · 14/07/2025 20:25

Urrgghhh.

I honestly think people who say stuff like this don’t realise how fucking weird it it 🥴

I’ve got 3 DCs who are all very close together in age. The amount of people who said stuff like “Haven’t you figured out what causes it yet?” Or “Don’t you have a telly in your bedroom?” was ridiculous.

I just made a point of making the asker of the stupid question really uncomfortable by saying things like “Why the sudden interest in my sex life?” 🫠🫠🫠

Watch them squirm.

cc99xo · 14/07/2025 20:25

Honestly if this was me I’d probably just assume they were having a bit of banter - although I’d at least be expecting them to be happy for us and say congratulations too alongside having a joke. I guess it just completely depends on your relationship with them and your type of humour, but that’s genuinely just my opinion

BakeOffRewatch · 14/07/2025 20:28

Incredibly rude in my opinion, as the occasion of any wanted pregnancy should be met with congratulations and felicitations. He might not have meant it maliciously, and some people think it’s ok to say things like this or make jokes about abortion. He’s your friend so it’s for you to judge if it falls in to your values and comfort zone. If you’re having a fourth, I’ve heard from friends that they get comments all the time so unfortunately you might have to learn to rebuff them!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
MyUmberSeal · 14/07/2025 20:28

It’s not rude, just humour that’s not to your taste. Sort of thing my husband and his mates say to each other.

FlowerPower2525 · 14/07/2025 20:34

MyUmberSeal · 14/07/2025 20:28

It’s not rude, just humour that’s not to your taste. Sort of thing my husband and his mates say to each other.

Yes I know people like this too. I would take it as banter too.

cyvguhb · 14/07/2025 20:40

Not necessarily rude but if I hadn't already marked him down as a bit of a knob I would after those comments

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 14/07/2025 20:42

MyUmberSeal · 14/07/2025 20:28

It’s not rude, just humour that’s not to your taste. Sort of thing my husband and his mates say to each other.

I agree with this. It's not rude so much as low quality banter, the type of daft thing people can say after they have had a few drinks really.....

Fujree · 14/07/2025 20:44

I personally think it’s quite rude, although suspect it was a poor attempt at humour rather than maliciously intended.

I got a lot of similar comments when people realised I was pregnant with my (planned) third - to the extent I stopped telling people. They are also all almost exactly two years apart, so people liked to comment on what might happen nine months before that time of year.

Weird, but I think only worthy of an eye roll and move on. Though I would love a fourth and am actually largely put off as I imagine the reactions would be so negative.

TomatoSandwiches · 14/07/2025 20:49

It's something that people who think they're funny say.

ghostyslovesheets · 14/07/2025 20:50

People are just rude when it comes to pregnancy - like you become public property and everyone has the right to an opinion!

I had two girls and was pregnant with a much wanted 3rd (girl - knew she would be) after 3 MC - everyone ‘trying for a boy, still wanting a boy, DH must be desperate for a boy, are you going to keep trying till you get your boy’ etc.

comments like ‘are you sure it’s just one in there?’ ‘Are you getting a TV now’ drove me mad

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 14/07/2025 20:52

It's a shit, predictable, boring attempt at humor - but no malice to it

Moveoverdarlin · 14/07/2025 21:14

I don’t think it’s rude. He was just shocked you were going for a fourth.

I remember going for dinner with a male boss, he had three young boys all close in age and was generally tearing his hair out most days under the stress of 3 boys, 2 dogs, a SAH wife and a high powered job. He was in a constant state of stress.

There was five of us at the dinner and he announced he and his wife were going for one more… we all looked a bit confused and said ‘Is Sarah pregnant then? He said ‘yeah due at Christmas.’ We all said something along the lines ‘Bloody hell’. It’s a lot and it’s not easy, that’s why he was surprised.

cyvguhb · 14/07/2025 21:29

Moveoverdarlin · 14/07/2025 21:14

I don’t think it’s rude. He was just shocked you were going for a fourth.

I remember going for dinner with a male boss, he had three young boys all close in age and was generally tearing his hair out most days under the stress of 3 boys, 2 dogs, a SAH wife and a high powered job. He was in a constant state of stress.

There was five of us at the dinner and he announced he and his wife were going for one more… we all looked a bit confused and said ‘Is Sarah pregnant then? He said ‘yeah due at Christmas.’ We all said something along the lines ‘Bloody hell’. It’s a lot and it’s not easy, that’s why he was surprised.

How do you know he was shocked? Even if he did have such a weirdly strong reaction to an everyday bit of news in what world is suggesting protection as a gift a normal thing to say.

Is he implying that the OP is unaware of the concept, can't afford a pack of condoms? It makes no sense to me at all although I am assuming he is over the age of 12

101jobs · 15/07/2025 06:38

I don’t think it’s rude.

ResidentPorker · 15/07/2025 06:41

If you’re desperate to be offended then I suppose you could take it as rude. I wouldn’t be bothered.

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 15/07/2025 07:27

You’ve taken offence so you clearly think it’s rude. Which is ok, that’s how you feel.

However, step back and consider the intent behind the comment. Was he deliberately provoking you or wanting to upset you? Or was he trying to make a joke about it? Jokes often fall flat depending upon how they are received (in this case you were offended) but honestly, I doubt he was trying to upset you.

FlamingoFloss · 15/07/2025 07:29

I’d say just banter

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread