Husband changing from shift work to Monday - Friday hours

[Confessionsofashopoholic]

My husband works in emergency services and has always worked shifts since I’ve known him, he’s been working them for approx 15 years. He’s applying for a new job which would be a working pattern of Monday - Friday, 8am - 4pm. I’d craved this normal pattern for years but now I’m use to it, I’m anxious about the change. I should also say that I am autistic and change for me is a struggle anyway. I’m not sure what I’m worried about, I think I just need reassurance that it will be better than shift work. Shift work is hard as I’m often on my own but I’ve got use to it though I love having him home and it is hard. Shift work is great for childcare, usually one of us is home so it’s great for school pick ups and drop offs as well as school holidays. We don’t have any help from family etc so it’s been really helpful. The tough side of shift work is - Being on my own a lot, our daughter misses time out with her dad, its unpredictable, he’s never off on time because of the nature of the role, I don’t sleep well as I’m always checking if he’s home safe, I don’t ever have that Friday or weekend feeling, we can’t plan anything as his job takes priority and is often unsociable hours. Has anyone else had a husband / wife / partner who spent a long time doing shifts and then going to a typical working pattern? Did you find it better, was there anything that was harder or anything that made you feel it was the right decision?

My husband is also emergency services; he’s mostly worked shifts but has done a fair few stints of office hours.

Office hours are good because the working days are shorter, so he has more time every day/fewer stints of being completely knackered from 3 x 12-hour late off night shifts. Also because he’s predictably home in the evenings and at weekends to take part in family life.

If you are also working full time office hours it’s worth having a conversation upfront about how you will share things like dd being off school sick.

Do you prefer and does he prefer the Mon - Fri over shift work? I work part time and a fairly flexible job so if our daughter is poorly it should be ok but it has come in handy when my husband is off day a Mon and Tuesday and I’d only have to have taken 1 day off. I think I’m just nervous of the unknown but equally I think it will benefit family life so much. I’ll have more freedom and stability too, I’m on my own a lot and stuck in the house once my LO is down for bed. I’m sure it will be a good thing, I think I’m just nervous as I don’t know how it will look or work, it’s a big change

A slightly different view but DH and I have both avoided applying for internal roles because they involved shift work. For him, it was 5 days, 4 nights with weekends off. For me it was 06:00-18:00 hrs, 2 on, 2 off, 3 on, 3 off, so working EOW. We'd have barely seen each other and we don't even have any kids.

Yes that’s the thing, we don’t see eachother as much as we would like, it works well for childcare for us but then equally our daughter doesn’t see her dad for 4 days sometimes where he’s sleeping when she’s up and off to school and then when she’s home from school, he’s already gone back to work. I was looking at the financial implications, we would be down by around £4000 as he would loose anti social hour shift allowance and bank holiday pay. I think we would be wealthier in health though, eating better and having a sit down meal at a normal time, time to go the gym as we would have evenings so we could take it in turns, decent sleep etc. I know money isn’t everything too… it is a nice to have and takes the pressure off but I’m telling myself health is wealth too 😅