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Missing Holiday Husband

18 replies

ThatKeenJadeLeader · 14/07/2025 14:26

Just need a vent.

My husband and I are recently back from a once in a lifetime holiday that we had been saving for.

My husband is fantastic day to day and a great dad but we also run a very stressful company where the staff have taken to jokingly calling him 'Angry Ryan'. He's not rude to anyone he's just very strict with our employees to be on top form for customers and doesn't take any shit lets say. He's just very stressed in general and always has been really.

Any other holiday we have been on he still replies to odd whatsapps and urgent emails but this time we left the office in the very capable hands of two of the office girls and one of the lads on the road as the supervisor as it was a once in a lifetime trip.

My husband was a different person! He didn't touch his phone once other than in the evening where we spoke to our kids on video call (we are taking them away next month for family holiday). He was so engaged with the local customs and sat for ages on the beach speaking to waiters, learning about their religion etc, playing football on the beach with the little local kids, going out and buying them sweets and flip flops (in the most non weird way possible 😅). He was so relaxed and chilled out it took me aback a couple of times. I posted some pics to our work group chat and everyone replied saying omg he's smiling, bring this version back to the UK!

Now we are back to reality and he is his normal running round everywhere getting stressed out self and I am missing the man from our two weeks away.

I feel like booking a holiday every month after this.

OP posts:
MaryTheTurtle · 14/07/2025 18:29

Have you told him?

Yesyouknowit · 14/07/2025 18:30

How involved are you with the business?

he sounds run ragged

but he also sounds like he’s a bit of twat at work

Yesyouknowit · 14/07/2025 18:34

we are taking them away next month for family holiday)

clearly a seasoned mumsnetter and thread starter 😆

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

IReallyLoveItHere · 14/07/2025 18:35

It's great to know that the other him is in there, so what is needed to get it out.

Can the business afford more staff to lighten the load? If not, is it genuinely viable - I'd suggest that a business that makes you work every hour and completely change your home and work personality to keep it alive is not longterm viable.

Has he had health checks? Bloods and blood pressure? Does he eat and sleep ok? No alcohol issues? I'd worry, stress needs to go somewhere.

I hope you find a solution.

IReallyLoveItHere · 14/07/2025 18:37

Yesyouknowit · 14/07/2025 18:34

we are taking them away next month for family holiday)

clearly a seasoned mumsnetter and thread starter 😆

Exactly 😂

Worried8263839 · 14/07/2025 18:37

Yesyouknowit · 14/07/2025 18:34

we are taking them away next month for family holiday)

clearly a seasoned mumsnetter and thread starter 😆

Haha I thought exactly the same

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 14/07/2025 18:38

It's all very well sucking up to the customers but if you treat your staff like shit they will eventually leave. Which isn't a very sustainable way to run a business and something he needs to consider. Back your staff, treat them well and they will want to stay long term.

MrsMoastyToasty · 14/07/2025 18:39

Is the business in trouble?

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 14/07/2025 18:45

Am I the only one who felt sad for DH? So, there is a lovely person underneath who is never allowed to come out unless in a once in a lifetime holiday?
I don't think there's much you can do, OP, but it would be great if he could integrate this relaxed person to his "normal" persona.

AnaisVB · 14/07/2025 19:19

Worried8263839 · 14/07/2025 18:37

Haha I thought exactly the same

I don’t get it?

Bookcovermisleading · 14/07/2025 19:22

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 14/07/2025 18:38

It's all very well sucking up to the customers but if you treat your staff like shit they will eventually leave. Which isn't a very sustainable way to run a business and something he needs to consider. Back your staff, treat them well and they will want to stay long term.

This ! Treat staff in a respectful way..they are human beings as well, trying to pay their bills and have a life ,like you and your husband !

Worried8263839 · 14/07/2025 19:31

AnaisVB · 14/07/2025 19:19

I don’t get it?

Had OP not have added that she was taking her children away on holiday she’d have likely been flamed for leaving her kids behind and not giving them a holiday

Delatron · 14/07/2025 19:37

He needs to work on his stress levels then. It’s not really acceptable to be all angry at work. Not a nice environment for people. Is he stressed because he is short staffed? Business in trouble?

Long term chronic stress will be having a huge impact on his health. What does he do to relax? Any sport?

AnaisVB · 15/07/2025 18:07

Worried8263839 · 14/07/2025 19:31

Had OP not have added that she was taking her children away on holiday she’d have likely been flamed for leaving her kids behind and not giving them a holiday

Oh blimey! Thanks for the insider info 😀 x

CooCooCachoo · 15/07/2025 18:10

Worried8263839 · 14/07/2025 19:31

Had OP not have added that she was taking her children away on holiday she’d have likely been flamed for leaving her kids behind and not giving them a holiday

Or for drip feeding, most heinous of sins….

CooCooCachoo · 15/07/2025 18:12

Is there any chance of one or two of the three employees that stepped up and managed things while he was away stepping up more permanently so he can delegate more day to day?

HotCrossBunplease · 15/07/2025 18:15

Sorry he’s stressed again but I misread the thread title and thought your husband had gone missing on holiday! Phew.

Sidebeforeself · 15/07/2025 18:33

I don’t think it’s acceptable that he’s known as angry Ryan to be honest. “Taking no shit” is often a euphemism for aggressive behaviour.

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