How do I know what I want out of Counselling?

[ElsaMars]

I've been offered counselling after thinking I wouldn't be able to access it for free. I know the person will ask me what I want out of it, the truth is I don't know really but I do want and need it.

I have issues around my childhood and I definitely think I'm ND which has made life somewhat hard. I've been on ADs since my first child was 6 months old (now 13) and I have felt extremely low and anxious in the past. I'm in a good place but it usually rears its ugly head again after a good period.

Is this enough for a Counsellor to go on? Thanks

Your goals will become clearer during your first few sessions as you explore your thoughts. Sometimes things appear that the client had no idea about and new goals can be decided later on. Is this time-limited therapy? If so, the counsellor should help you to prioritise.

I imagine I'll get a few, maybe 3 sessions. I would love to just talk and be heard/validated. Maybe that's weird though!
In previous brief counselling in the past its been about drawing and planning and visualising (CBT maybe) but I just want to be free of past stuff and actually feel like it's helped and not just pretending has, to be nice to them 😄

what you’ve said here is absolutely enough to go on and really helpful. And then you also say listened to and a space for you- which is also an excellent and achievable goal!

Thank you!

You don't need to be nice to the counsellor. It's not your job to look after them! If you need to be sad, or cry or show any emotion in your session then that is OK. Your counsellor has been trained to sit with these feelings and work with them.

Three sessions is very few to really get into long standing stuff, it’s better than nothing but it’s not going to scratch the surface of childhood stuff. It’s not just having space to talk about it, it’s being able to process it and understand your own patterns. I’d also hazard that the counsellor will be some form of solution focussed/behavioural counsellor so won’t necessarily know how to unpick the bigger issues.

Id have a think about what’s bothering you now, eg when it rears its ugly head, how does that impact you and use your time to find strategies to minimise the impact on you. That would be a good use of very few sessions, rather than spending your time dragging things up that can’t be resolved in 3 sessions.

What you've said is absolutely fine. Just be yourself, it doesn't matter is you don't have answers to any initial questions.

One thing I would say, three sessions is unlikely to be enough. DH is a Counsellor and has come across people who've had 2/3 sessions and just as things are starting to come out and opened up, they've had to stop without exploring managing mechanisms. So if I were you, I'd ask for ways to manage who you feel and cope with whatever going forward.

Obviously give your three sessions a go, but if they don't help, prioritise any money to have towards long term therapy. DH said the ones who see it through this him, are in a much better place and they're so grateful to him.

Totally reasonable to say "I don't know". Your counsellor should be able to work with you to collaboratively come up with a plan for what is reasonable to achieve/explore within the sessions you have available.