Do you think people can tell if your house is usually a bit of a mess?

[Cleanmessyhouse]

Even if you spend hours cleaning and tidying it before they visit?

I think you can probably tell with my house. We don’t give off a house proud vibe. Lots of stuff needs doing, redecorating etc. and it’s a bit cluttered although not overly so. There are bits I just don’t ever seem to get to very often such as dusting blinds. And most of the time it looks like a bomb has gone off as we have four young children and never seem to be able to keep up with it all. So we have to really put quite a lot of time and effort in before we have guests over.

I have friends who

1. live in messy/cluttered houses and don’t appear tidy up before we visit (planned visits!)
   and

2. have houses that are so immaculate I can’t imagine they’re ever any other way

and then I suspect a lot of us live somewhere in between, but to what degree, I’m not sure.

Only a random musing as I sit here waiting for the floors to dry after finally getting round to mopping them. DD1 is having some friends over after school and then I have some friends coming this evening. They all have show home standard homes so I’ve spent all day trying to polish my turd of a house. They’re relatively new friends to me so they’ve not been round before - I guess I’m wondering if they’ll be able to tell I’ve basically been preparing for this evening all week!

I am definitely overthinking this too as we will be sitting in the garden and they’ll only ever need to pop in to use the loo

I've never thought about it. I notice if someone's house is untidy or unclean but I wouldn't wonder when they'd last cleaned and tidied if it wasn't messy.

I go to see my friends and not their houses. Unless it was minging or felt an unsanitary place to eat or drink, I wouldn’t be bothered to be honest. I’d hate to think that someone had run themselves ragged preparing their house for my visit; I just want to enjoy their company 😃

Literally do not care. Do not judge. Except one of my oldest friends where I do tidy as I go sometimes but I'm only there once every few years and mainly it's because she would do the same for me and I would be soooo thankful. Unfortunately partner does care and doesn't really like people in his space so we don't have people round often .

I'm sure people can tell. When I do my big clean ups there is still shelves that are cluttered that give me away!

If the cleaner doesn’t do it on her weekly stint, I certainly won’t be doing it before visitors.

Honestly I've only ever been in one house that felt unclean. There were several cat trays dotted around, all had poo in and the house smelled damp. The rest of the time I can't say I even notice and I definitely don't go looking for dirt and mess.

I can, but i think that it takes one to know one, if that makes sense

I grew up in a house that was frantically cleaned before guests came, and I now live in one (trying desperately to change) so can spot another like me 🙈

I'll start thinking like you OP as soon as men do.

I'm 56 and still waiting.

My house is clean and tidy enough for me and my family. I don't compare it to others houses as they don't affect me.

When I go to visit anyone I hardly notice my surroundings and if I do I'm neutral about it completely.
Some of my friends houses are what you'd call cluttered but what do I care? I don't live there so it doesn't bother me.
I have other friends whose houses are immaculate nothing out of place everything clean, in good shape, neat is a pin.
I just think , if I think anything at all, that they have way way too much time on their hands!
When I visit I concentrate on the people I'm visiting!

I think there’s such a spectrum. I grew up in a fairly chaotic house so the fact I can keep things ticking over is impressive to me! I find most of my friends houses messier than I’d be comfortable with having people at mine - but my mum did crazy rush around tidy ups and I think it’s well ingrained in my that you have to hide your cluttery ways. I have to actively remind myself it’s friends who love me that are visiting and they don’t care. I suspect people who grew up in a more consistently tidy home feel a bit less like they’ve got something to prove?

As an aside, I feel soooo uncomfortable in immaculately tidy homes - a friends mum’s home makes me feel on edge. Not a speck of dust and so minimalist, I feel like I’ll do something wrong every time I’m in it!

The thing is I don’t care about other people’s houses either, not at all. But I think my issues stem from growing up in a really messy and dirty house and my Mum just didn’t care. I look back and I’m so ashamed and embarrassed by it (there are lots of other issues with my childhood that are intertwined but let’s not get too deep). I was always so jealous of friends with these lovely, clean, nicely decorated homes. I love it now when my home is tidy and clean.

I definitely care more than my visitors do!

The things that will give me away today are:

dusty blinds
haven’t cleaned inside windows
cobwebs (I’ve got most but they are everywhere!)

and let’s hope no one goes in the utility room or our en suite, or takes too close a look at the shower in the family bathroom (they would have absolutely no reason to do these things but I still worry!).

My house is and always has been very clean and tidy. Not minimalist but leaning that way. This comes naturally to me. I can look at a space and immediately know how it should be organized/ decorated/ and maintained. Can’t always afford my dream decorating but I can always keep it clean. This started with my own bedroom in middle school (age 12or 13). Visiting family this week and dear nieces house is messy with stuff everywhere…every bedroom bathroom kitchen living space is messy. While it does surprise me is doesn’t bother me. She can live how she and her DH want. She’s very very particular about her clothes and jewelry and accessories but how she puts these perfect outfits together out of her jumble of a closet with mounds on the floor and stuffed full is intriguing to me. I always think….they just don’t mind the mess. It’s natural to them just as being clean and organized is to me. I often feel messiness starts with simply owning too much