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Am I not a feminist, not really?

2 replies

FullyLined · 10/07/2025 22:18

I have grown up in Soviet Union where women’s emancipation was part of political agenda from the 1920s. There was never, ever a feeling that I was not boys’ equal growing up in terms of academics or professional aspirations. Home environment was very different - lots of men were alcoholics, women carried all of the burden. My mother was deputy Head Teacher, wrestling my pissed father to the ground to get him to sleep. My friends’ families were the same or divorced.

I have lived in the UK for over 20 years. I am in a senior professional role, managing all male team. I am married to a wonderful man who pulls his weight. I have certainly felt insignificant as a woman on a number of occasions. One example would be being at the industry event, a Customer on the stand always heads for a bloke and assumes I am in Marketing.

But, I like it when men open doors for me and offer to help with the luggage. Sometimes, I pause at the door to let a man step in, just to see if he does it.

Not sure what the point of this post it is, certainly not to challenge awful stats on domestic violence or women’s rights in other countries. All I am asking is can you really be a feminist if you learn to pick your fights and still enjoy being treated like “a lady” on some occasions?

OP posts:
FancyLimePoet · 10/07/2025 22:43

I like those things too. I also have a professional career, but I couldn’t date a guy who didn’t earn more than me. I embrace my femininity; I take care of my appearance, I do most of the childcare, love pottering about in the kitchen, taking care of my home, hosting family and friends,buying the Christmas/birthday presents.If had to steer the ship due to ill health etc then I could step up a gear and work full time etc.

TBH I think most woman have the worst of both worlds now and no time to embrace their femininity.

youreactinglikeafunmum · 10/07/2025 22:49

I'm a feminist

If I were dating, I'd expect the gentleman thing to be done and to be protected and taken care of

Until then, I can take care of myself, which I see as the ultimate feminist act

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