Toddler mealtimes. Save me from this hell

[showmethegin]

Looking for some advice. DS turned 3 last month and mealtimes are pushing us to the brink. I’ve struggled to find answers on the internet as he isn’t a fussy eater and he isn’t refusing food. He will pretty much eat anything but it is so so so slow. We all have the same and we’re sometimes sitting at the table for over an hour for one meal. It’s torture!

If he was just not interested in the meal it would be different, I could just breezily take it away but he DOES want it. He wants to eat loads just over 2 hours!!

Part of me thinks he is stalling bedtime as this behaviour really peaks at dinner time. Has anyone else been through this?

Yup!

We eat together too, but after everyone else has finished we get up and do things (obviously there’s an adult in the same room still).

I think that speeds DD up and bit because she gets fomo seeing her sister playing.

You don’t have to stay sitting at the table. When you are finished, if he’s still going, get up and sort the kitchen, put the washing on, load dishes. It’s lovely to have family meals, but I won’t just keep everyone sat there forever for one of us.

You might also try not going straight to bath and bedtime after, say he gets to play for 10 minutes, which might motivate him to eat with everyone else.

Also worth checking that it’s the right portion size. A 3 year old will actually eat quite a small amount, so it shouldn’t take an hour. Unless he’s not hungry. In which case, I’d just end the meal. He doesn’t have to finish everything. If he is truly hungry, it might be motivation to focus on eating.

I used to allow about 5 mins for the slow eater then everyone else could leave the table.
The others just got fed up and fidgety waiting for the last one (who talked to much)
It was definitely a tactic to delay bedtime

Put a time limit on meal times and after that everyone be else can get up and live their lives. I'd give the slow eater a little bit longer, but I'd also cap their time and not let it go on forever.

As pp said, review portion size too.

Agree with pp you really don't all need to stay at the table and stare at him past a certain pont.

We have a slow eater, we don't make his brother stay at the table once he's finished. One parent stays and clears up, stacks the dishwasher etc (our table is in the kitchen) whilst chatting to slow eater and keeping him company. Sometimes we put on an audiobook as well.

Don't indulge him by waiting, just end the meal after a reasonable time, any food left goes in the fridge or the bin. He's obviously not hungry. Your time and sanity is too valuable to waste waiting for him.

Meal times are about socialising as much as eating. Let him play and just feed him when he's interested/hungry, with healthy snacks, or the food left in the fridge from yesterday.

If you dont want to end up putting food in the bin/fridge, just let him play at the table at mealtimes and put MUCH less food on his plate. He probably doesnt need much food. (This will change when he's a teenager and the food will disappear from the fridge before it even gets to the table.)

Give him an extra 10 minutes after everyone else then end the meal. If he's hungry he'll eat.

We have an older child like this. At 3 they were just super fussy though so not like this, now older they're a much better eater but often eat soooo slowly. We don't all sit waiting on those occasions. They're the eldest so the little ones are often well done much earlier and gone off to play. Me (and DH, if he's there for dinner which is about half the week due to work) don't just sit and wait. We tidy the other stuff up or do housework or play with the other two or whatever. There's always someone else in the room wherever possible as I try to avoid them being alone to eat but we don't just sit at the table doing nothing. I don't take the meal away at a certain point or anything because it's a struggle to keep my child a healthy weight as it is (Vs being underweight). They would eat less overall if I did that and they can't really afford to eat less, for their health.