Comments from son

[Usernamenotavailable19]

My son who is 6 asked his teacher if it’s illegal to marry your sister, I thought kids ask weird stuff occasionally and they say things that don’t make sense but according to his teacher they are really concerned and find it weird.
I’ve never been told he’s made any comments like this before. I’ve asked my son and he said ‘my friends were asking me’ I feel like the teacher is really judging but I think it’s just a weird question he’s asked and he obviously doesn’t want to grow up and marry his sister.
has your child said anything that’s caused the school concern? What should I make of the teachers response?

Anyone?

Completely normal question. My son was quite unhappy around that age when he found out he couldn't marry his sister (after figuring out that he couldn't marry mommy because she was already married).

Seems like a massive overreaction from the teacher

Surely kids ask things like this all the time!

I wouldn't give it another thought @Usernamenotavailable19

Well, my 3yo (at the time) DGS is going to marry me when he gets older and flies a plane.🤣🤣

Yes, totally normal question for this age!

Unless there was more to it, teacher is being ridiculous. What exactly are their concerns - future incest?! 😂

For goodness sake. Totally normal question from a curious child.

Totally normal question from a child that age. Teacher seems clueless about what's normal behaviour.

Crikey the teacher actually thinks there might be incest massive lol. I would be having a word with her myself to explain how ridiculous her thought process is.

Thanks all. I think I’m going to talk to the head teacher and say I thought the teacher is over reacting. She’s made me feel likes somethings wrong

I remember my son drawing pictures of monsters (not particularly scary ones) and the teacher asking if I let him watch horror films at home.

Er, NO. 😭

So to deal with this over reaction by the teacher you want to escalate this to the Head?

This place is so so funny sometimes..

It's a perfectly normal question that a child that age might ask. They don't yet have any concept of the rights, wrongs, laws and social nuances or expectations around marriage.

If the teacher is implying that there must be incest involved at home then she is seriously overstretching and overthinking, I would think. I'd tell her so, and that there is no need at all for concern. Only approach the headteacher if she refuses to back off and looks like pressing the issue with referral to social services. That would be very twatty of her and is hopefully extremely unlikely.

I remember wondering the same thing probably at a similar age. It’s very normal and seems an odd thing to be concerned about. Did the teacher contact you specifically to tell you this or was it just casually mentioned eg at parents evening? Could it be that you’ve overthought the teacher’s concern or could it be that that he has actually said more than that eg is it illegal to have sex with your sister? Any safeguarding concern will be logged by the school so if the teacher genuinely has a concern, I would expect the head to already be aware.

My nephew thought he was going to marry me when he was about 5 and I was about 33. Just a cute funny story… nothing weird about him, me or anyone in the family!

Ridiculous. I remember wanting to marry my brother and planning a trip to the Pope to OK it 😆
I also remember my own DS asking me to marry him aged 4 ❤️
Utterly normal and just needs to be gently and kindly explained as it's coming from a lovely, innocent place.

Wtf is wrong with the teacher? They're the only weird one in this situation!

I have 2 boys and a girl, they have all asked me this and said that they want to marry each other. I think it just shows that they have a great relationship and really care about each other.

Did you miss the bit where I said the teachers made me feel like somethings wrong? I’m not trying to get the teacher in any kind of trouble but she clearly doesn’t know what’s appropriate to report back to parents and what the she should just ignore.

My sons asked me if men could marry other men as they want to marry each other. They’re 5 & 8. Totally normal. They also want to marry me 😂

Oh dear, I think this is quite an overreaction from the teacher. My nephew was most perturbed the other day when he found out he couldn’t marry his Mum. I’m pretty sure it’s just them working out how the world works

I’m glad you’re all saying it’s normal.

I’d be putting in a formal complaint about this, not least because of the distress and bloody worry she’s caused! Also because she needs to be stopped before she overreacts about another child asking a question such as something about procreation or sex! I can’t even imagine what she’d come up with in that scenario….

Did he actually use the word illegal?

I would go back to the teacher and ask her to clarify what's going on. If your son has asked this one question and has done nothing similar all year, it's one thing. Is it a pattern of saying unusual things?

Nope no pattern and no concern to me whatsoever.

Very normal. Just this week, my 4 yo dd said she wanted to marry her 10 yo brother. He told her it was illegal (and gross) and she isn't deterred!

My ds wanted to marry me when he was younger too. I wouldn't even class it as unusual. They see 'marriage' portrayed at home, in films etc... and they become curious about it. But they don't have any concept of romance or attraction, they just think it's two people who get married and it makes sense to them, to marry someone they like - so a parent or sibling is a good choice to them!