I hate being pale

[Pricelessadvice]

Does anyone else pale just hate wearing summer clothes?
Undortunately I’m not even a nice even pale. I’m outdoorsy/farm/livery yard so I tend to be ‘patchy’ where my arms and face and neck get weathered but the rest of me is practically blue it’s so white. I wear a vest top and I look like a patchwork quilt. I have to fake tan my legs because they are just awful- freckly, white and horrid. No summer clothes look nice against my skin 😞 I also have freckles, again in patches, so looks awful. But fake tan is time consuming and messy and never looks great. I just want to put a pair of shorts on and not have to go through the rigmarole of tanning.

People constantly comment on how white i am and it just makes me more self conscious. I can’t help the skin I was born in. I burn horribly after short exposure to sun and then just peel and go back to my natural colour. I never catch the sun evenly, I just burn. I don’t understand why it’s acceptable to mock people who are pale. Surely we should be past making horrible comments about skin type?

I love summer but hate summer clothes. I feel far more comfortable in winter clothes where I can hide my skin from people’s comments.

I was walking behind a girl before with beautiful olive skin- even and flawless. She looked gorgeous in her clothes.
Anyone else have this problem?

I’m very pale and I’m afraid fake tan is your only answer. You just need to get better at it

fake tan is not the “only” answer.

you can also just be pale and learn to overcome societal conditioning that says it’s ugly.

I used to hate it OP but then I started getting snappy with my retorts to unsavoury comments. “Why are you so pale?” “Because it pisses people off”. That conversation shut down everyone in the vicinity and I was happy to sit and give eye contact through the awkward silence.
“Wow, have you tried tanning over a length of time?” “I’d get skin cancer before I got a tan”. Mentioning the “C” word shuts people up pretty quickly. I would never comment on somebody’s appearance like that so I find it incredibly rude, if they’re happy being rude, I’m happy snapping back. It’s usually leathery, sun damaged people that make the comments anyway. I’m not sorry for existing, it’s their problem, not mine!

Im in my forties too OP and after years of wishing I could get a nice even tan I've given up! I am 'outdoorsy' too (have horses) and I keep my face, neck and arms covered in sunblock. I also wear a baseball cap and t-shirts with a collar turned up to protect my neck. Legs are always in jodphurs and boots so don't get seem anyway. If I do wear 'normal' clothes I try to embrace my paleness now. Floaty layers, linen, maxi dresses, flowing skirts etc.

Us fellow horsey people must be easy to spot 😂Tanned arms, a watch strap, a weathered face and deathly white rest of our body!
And a slight whiff of horse pee, just to top it off 😅

Thank you for the fake tan tips - I am currently using the drops you add into moisturiser (isle of paradise) but will definitely try dove and st tropez next.

I’m so pale I’m nearly translucent. My “tan” is most people’s normal colour. I hate it. I look unwell. It’s not “self hatred”, it’s just the fact that I look tired and unwell at all times.

Do you though?

or is it society telling you that pale = unhealthy?

I am very pale and don’t think I look tired and unwell. Sometimes I look tired because I am tired. It’s not my skin colour.

yet from very early on in life I have been told I need a “healthy tan”, that I would look so much better with “a bit of colour”. It took me a long time in my teen years to break out the cycle of trying to tan, burning, then going white again. I realised that was far more unhealthy than being pale, and I’d end up with skin cancer which is definitely not healthy.

years later and now I know what makes me look tired. It’s not my skin colour. It’s lack of sleep and exercise. I am now much healthier taking care of that- good sleep habits and a decent diet and exercise plan does more for me than trying to cover up tiredness with a tan ever will.

I look unhealthy because I look unhealthy. Nothing to do with society. I am nearly translucent. You can see the veins all over my fingers and my palms. My legs are horrendous.

Me too. I am often stopped in hot countries and asked why i am so pale.

i don’t look horrendous. Or I choose not to believe i look horrendous. Yes you can see blue veins through my skin, on my hands, arms, legs, and torso, but so what. It’s normal. I have a healthy, functional body and what it looks like is irrelevant.

it is society telling me I must look this way or that to be acceptable. I disagree.

you probably would think i looked horrendous, tired and unwell based on your standards 🤷‍♀️

Having visible veins is not unhealthy. Being pale is not unhealthy. If you are unhealthy a tan won’t help, getting healthy will.

Ginger (now grey) pale skinned horsey outdoor person.
My arms look brown but it's just my freckles joining up, looks like a tiger loaf!
Every other bit of exposed skin just goes red.
Except my legs, which stay deathly pale, unless I lie in the sun when they burn and blister.
I use a tiny amount of Palmers gradual tan on my legs when I can be bothered.

I hear you Op

I am very pale and rose-toned so I tend to go bright red in the face when I’m hot. I’m the second-lightest porcelain foundation colour you can buy. I tried self tanning but I swim a lot and it just doesn’t help. I also have vitiligo so some parts of my skin are extremely patchy and pale - my arms, legs and chest in particular. I have to use spf 50 pretty much all the time!

I do dislike my skin but in the past few years I’ve learned to care less. I appreciate society being more tolerant and I accept that I will never meet even average standards of physical beauty, so I concentrate on being fit and toned and being a nice person.

Get a spray tan? You’ve got nothing to lose as it is just temporary. You could get the palest spray tan which won’t look too different but will take off the paleness. It is only recently that I have realised that many women you see with healthy tanned looking skin spend a lot of time and effort on it and aren’t like that naturally. From the research I’ve done it seems that a professional spray tan isn’t that expensive and they can come to your house and do it there if you prefer. Go for it!

No need to take it as a personal attack

In fairness, if my whole skin tanned like my freckles do, I’d look great 😂

@TwinTantrums it’s never said in a positive way.

Agree. I've had complete strangers shout across the pool area "look at how white she is!" With their pals then laughing along. It seems fair game to make fun of people's skin tone. This woman wasn't the smallest build, put it that way, but I bet if I'd made a comment on the size of her arse it would have been absolute carnage

It seems like people think it’s ok to tell you how white you are, yet if you pointed out how fat someone was, you’d be considered to be pretty rude!

Exactly, body positivity only seems to extend to your size, not your shade!

I don’t agree. Most white catwalk models are very pale. And think of Tilda Swinton, Gwendoline Christie, Lily Cole, Elle Fanning, Cate Blanchett etc etc.

I like my pallor. But, as I would burn in a cave, I dress for it. In hot weather, I stay cool and covered up.

I know the feeling.
If the freckles only joined up….

I’m pale . It’s hard in summer. I remind myself that pale skin looks amazing in autumn and winter especially with a bold lip! As I’ve aged I am more comfortable with being pale and the fake tanning is so bloody annoying sometimes I just can’t be bothered! I wear light trousers or longer dresses and use a sunblock so my face stays pale like my body. I still hate the heat and sun but at least it never lasts long in uk 🤣

The best response I’ve seen is to look them dead in the eye like they’re idiots and just say flatly “It’s my skin colour.”

I’m struggling too with my skin condition flaring up. I’d love to get to enjoy summer fashion.

My mum was exactly like you OP, very pale freckly skin that burnt and never tanned, uneven. She hated it. I don't know if there's a solution, really. I am also very pale but a sort of 'glowing pale' that is even and looks OK. I would never wear fake tan, it would look so weird on me! I look good in navy, and strong colours like turquoise, dark pink - in fact colours with a blue hue to them, rather than orange/yellow.

The only time I had something rude said was in Morocco with my then husband, two passing men said 'look at that white chicken' in Arabic, which I didn't understand but of course my 'D' H had to pass on! But of course everyone stared at me there because I was so different looking!