How do you overcome low mood?

[IAm46]

I’m a 46yo mum with two kids 12 and 9. I work from home part time and do yoga once a week. No health or financial issues.

I dont know if I’m perimenopausal but I haven’t felt good about myself for a while, low mood and don’t feel positive enough to maintain good friendships. I had a friend but all she did was talk about herself and her proud family and I felt I couldn’t talk about myself so left her.

I want to do something that makes me feel better. I want to feel more positive. I just want to enjoy life.

I know exercise is good for you but I don’t have the energy other than the weekly yoga.

what has helped you get through these negative days? The sun’s shining and everyone looks happy - I don’t even have a friend to share it with.

Antidepressants, getting out into nature with my dog, small and manageable tasks during the day that I enjoy doing. It's bloody hard work though.

Medication, exercise (I do a 15min youtube work out - I tell myself I can do anything for 15mins) and self care which for me means taking a shower daily and putting on body lotion.

If im feeling really down, it’s usually down to being tired. I take a 30-45 minutes nap and it works I always feel better for it.

Which medications have worked? Do they have side effects. I like taking naps too but usually I get plenty of sleep during the night.

Do go see the doctor as you are probably peri. I remember back then I was severely down in the dumps. Not depressed or anything, just not on form

I did need to go on medication, not a high dose, just enough to keep the anxiety away

I walk. I started walking on my own and then a neighbour noticed and started to join me - friend made. We started to do charity fun walks - met more people. Now I do some serious walking and have made more friends that way

As my mood lifted I started to feel more like I wanted more of a social life so I started going out to events

I cant say I have a huge circle of friends, just maybe 3 who I keep socialising with. One thing I learned is not to wait for others to do the inviting - get out and extend the hand of friendship - someone from Yoga? Invite them for a coffee

Wake up half an hour early, open the window and lie there listening to birdsong, and drinking coffee in peace.
OR
Go for a walk through the fields or in the woods. Most days I see deer , kestrels, buzzards, other wild life
OR
(When cold in winter) relax in a hot bath with scented bubbles and music.

Declining oestrogen was fairly catastrophic for my mood so HRT helped enormously. Also eating lots of fibre/plants (a lot of serotonin is produced in the gut).

Thank you. I don’t know why but I’m in floods of tears reading your comments.

Join a class, something creative maybe? (pottery, knitting, crochet, cookery, creative writing, photography, sewing, jewelry...), learn a new language via your local adult education centre? Join parkrun locally either as a runner or a volunteer, volunteer locally, see a counsellor/therapist if you can afford it. HRT.

running. I run really really slow & not great distances, I don’t think I’m really that fit but the benefits to my mental health are immense.
I know you said you’re too tired to exercise but I find if I don’t run I feel more tired. It gives me energy

Definitely try HRT as low oestrogen causes this. But also, and equally as important / effective in my experience:

• morninh walk in greenery every single day. Either before kids get up if you have a partner to cover, or after school run / before work. Research has shown this improves mood.
• run if you can - start with couch to 5k
• meditation once a day - just 5 minutes can help after your walk. Insight timer is a good, free app.
• gratitude lists at bedtime or when you open your eyes in the morning
• doesn’t sound like you need all those naps if you’re getting good sleep at night? They might be bringing you down a bit.
• vitamin B complex

Thank you all. I’m slightly afraid of the risks of HRT so would be grateful for any thoughts.

as you suggested I went for a solo walk this afternoon before school pick up and it was refreshing.

I’ll try and incorporate running and see how things go.

I have been in peri menopause for a few years and sometimes have low for no apparent reason so I presume it’s the hormones. It’s awful as I can be absolutely fine and then a couple of hours later I feel so low. 😢

I know you say you don’t have the energy for more exercise, but I’ve found it really helps. Running especially seems to help me. Also meditation, eating well, getting enough sleep. I know you’re asking for help on here, but when I feel low I keep away from all SM/forums as I found they often made me feel worse.

If you don’t find anything that helps, then do see a doctor if you feel you can. I know women who have found that anti depressants and HRT have really helped them. 💐

Do go see your GP. If not HRT ( I didn't go on it ) then Sertraline or similar for the anxiety. I and I know many other women have been helped tremendously with Sertraline . Other then a wee increase in the anxiety at the start, I had no further side effects and I found coming off them easy as well - tapered, not cold turkey

Exercise of any description really helps. I do advocate walking as you need nothing more then comfortable footwear and a spare 20 mins . Walking so helped me, even the hot flushes that came weren't so bad if I had had at least a mile walk a day. Those first miles were hard work, now I walk on average 10 miles a day. If I miss a day or two then I feel myself getting antsy again

This time of life is pretty challenging. My generation were told nothing, Thought it was hot flushes, night sweats and the end of periods - that was it. No one told us about the crippling anxiety, the feeling of utter loneliness , the feeling that we were losing our marbles , the mood swings, the irritability , the itchy skin - so many minor irritations but one complete mess juggling it all and trying to carry on regardless