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Bullying in primary school - helping DC recover

7 replies

CircuitMaze · 09/07/2025 09:58

Does anyone have any words of advice for helping a 10yo mentally recover from being bullied at school please?

As soon as we found out what was going on - verbal bullying - we contacted the school and it was dealt with immediately and effectively (the children involved have stopped).

DS(10) is a sensitive soul and this has hit him like a ton of bricks. All of his confidence and resilience has pretty much gone, he hates going to school and his emotional state is all over the place - think tantrums and screaming over the smallest thing. He can go for days when he is OK and then it starts again. He cries a lot and he is so negative about himself. The real kicker as well is that his (former) best friend dropped him a while ago and is now good friends with the bullies (but he wasn’t one of the ones who bullied him).

He is terrified that the bullying will start again, particularly when he moves to y6 and has a new teacher who he is convinced won’t know about the situation, nor will handle it as well as his current teacher. The teacher and Senco have agreed that they need to be careful what class he is put in for y6 (3-form entry) to ensure the bullies are not with him.

The school have him on a waiting list for a counselling service that visit the school, he is seeing a nurture TA each week for 20-30 mins (but from what he tells me he clams up and doesn’t tell her how he’s really feeling), and we are waiting for a local child counsellor to contact us next week when she is back from holiday who is highly recommended.

So, what can we do in the meantime to help support him? All the reassurance and love we can provide isn’t enough 😢.

OP posts:
MageQueen · 09/07/2025 10:01

I don't have any advice specifically, but this sounds like quite an extreme reaction to what was a relatively short period of bullying that was handled well by the school. I think it's really good you are seeking professional support because either there's more going on than you realise, or he has his own reasons for this level of upset.

Why is he supported by the SENCO? Is he ND?

simsbustinoutmimi · 09/07/2025 10:03

I would be moving schools, even though he’s only got one year to go.

now the bullying has very rightly been dealt with as such, he will likely be know as a grass and may be ostracised. Does he have close friends at school? Did they do anything to try and stop the bullying too? Or just let him get on with it?

it sounds like they haven’t bothered punishing these bullies properly, the fact they’re having to be careful what class he’s in etc. It shouldn’t matter if they’re in his class as they’re meant to be leaving him alone now.

edit: i see his friends have deserted him. please consider looking at other schools. Being lonely and ostracised (by his friends, bullies and maybe others if he’s labelled a grass) is awful and just as bad as bullying. I think he deserves a chance to be happy elsewhere.

his mate deserting him for his bully is just as bad as bullying him himself in my book. Even if he wasn’t involved in it.

simsbustinoutmimi · 09/07/2025 10:06

MageQueen · 09/07/2025 10:01

I don't have any advice specifically, but this sounds like quite an extreme reaction to what was a relatively short period of bullying that was handled well by the school. I think it's really good you are seeking professional support because either there's more going on than you realise, or he has his own reasons for this level of upset.

Why is he supported by the SENCO? Is he ND?

Extreme reaction?

he was bullied badly and his friends have dropped him. Being bullied can be awful and even when it’s over it can leave deep mental scars. Can’t believe this comment.

MageQueen · 09/07/2025 10:14

simsbustinoutmimi · 09/07/2025 10:06

Extreme reaction?

he was bullied badly and his friends have dropped him. Being bullied can be awful and even when it’s over it can leave deep mental scars. Can’t believe this comment.

What I mean is that it was dealt with extremely well and frm the sounds of things, didn't go on for long. I'm not disputing what he's feeling, I'm saying it's quite a big reaction and so I agree with OP that she needs to seek proper support for him becuase I'd be concerned that there's more going on.

As the parent of a child who was bullied, and who has had to deal with that, I'm 100% udnerstanding of the impact, believe me.

CircuitMaze · 09/07/2025 15:13

MageQueen · 09/07/2025 10:01

I don't have any advice specifically, but this sounds like quite an extreme reaction to what was a relatively short period of bullying that was handled well by the school. I think it's really good you are seeking professional support because either there's more going on than you realise, or he has his own reasons for this level of upset.

Why is he supported by the SENCO? Is he ND?

He has possible Dyspraxia and awaiting diagnosis and as part of this condition can cause emotional issues (it’s not all physical as commonly believed).

He is a sensitive child and his best friend moving on and becoming friends with his bullies is a pretty horrible feeling when you’re 10yo. They had been friends since Reception too.

OP posts:
CircuitMaze · 09/07/2025 15:16

To be clear, DS was bullied for a few months before we found out.

I was looking for anyone who has been in this situation that may have some words of wisdom etc.

He has friends at school and does not want to move either.

OP posts:
simsbustinoutmimi · 09/07/2025 15:59

CircuitMaze · 09/07/2025 15:16

To be clear, DS was bullied for a few months before we found out.

I was looking for anyone who has been in this situation that may have some words of wisdom etc.

He has friends at school and does not want to move either.

Where were his friends when he was being bullied

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