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Is it a bit unusual that he wants to spend quite so much time with me?

4 replies

Barcosebook · 08/07/2025 09:57

Relationship of about 9 months.

We were friends for a long time before we got together and saw so much of each other then, that a lot of people assumed we were a couple before we were.

Since we got together we see each other most days. We both have lifestyles that mean we have plenty of time, and often it will be for an hour or two in a busy day that involves lots of other people/things too, but it's rare we don't see each other at least for a while.

It's all good and relaxed, not an issue if I say let's give tonight a miss, but even when a day's plan doesn't include meeting up, he'll often call and suggest something, or adding to the planned contact.

E.g. yesterday we went for a run together. Just an hour in between work and evening plans. But then he suggested squeezing in a walk too. I said no I needed to get back and shower, which was fine.

Tomorrow we're doing an event. Something we'd both be at whether we knew each other or not. He's meeting an old school friend for dinner afterwards. Lovely, go and have a great time, I'm more than happy to have a quiet evening (after the event, so it's not like I'm doing nothing!). Then he's asked me to join them for dinner. The friend is perfectly nice, I'd have a nice time if I went, but I also know friend feels a bit pushed out since we got together, so I've said no you go and have a good eve with X. Which he's accepted without comment.

Maybe it's all lovely, and as I said he's not forcing himself on me, always takes no for an answer without any complaint, it just feels a bit unsual that he literally wants to fill all his time with me!

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/07/2025 09:59

I don’t think it sounds unusual, maybe he’s just a bit more into the relationship than you are.

Cheesystick · 08/07/2025 10:15

Sounds like he listens to and respects you. Why are you trying to find a problem and self sabotage?

Barcosebook · 08/07/2025 10:16

Cheesystick · 08/07/2025 10:15

Sounds like he listens to and respects you. Why are you trying to find a problem and self sabotage?

You're probably right. I'm very much an if it seems too good to be true kind of person.

OP posts:

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Cheesystick · 08/07/2025 10:29

Some people like to spend lots of time together (him) and some people need more alone time (you). As long as he respects what you need and say, and you sometimes compromise and do things he'd really love you to do with him, it's all good. You're only incompatible if he wants to see you seven days a week and you only want one evening a week or similar.

Some couples even live together! Shocking I know ;)

Don't look for problems where there aren't any.

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