Biting at nursery - how to deal with it?

[Newusername87]

My DS (3.5) is being repeatedly bitten by another boy in his nursery. We get incident reports on average once a fortnight, and it’s been going on since the start of the year. So we’re now on double figures. Last night’s was on his back, normally the little shark bites are on his torso or arms. Each time they leave a bruise and it’s still there this morning.

The nursery don’t give me the name (understandably) but the kids can talk so I know it’s the same boy each time, which the staff have softly confirmed. The boy’s parents are informed, but not that it’s the same ‘victim’ each time.

What should I do? Nursery places are at a premium, I can’t really take him out. But equally my baby is getting chomped (and no other kid seems to be, it’s just him, he must look extra juicy) on a regular basis.

I could message the mum directly? Or leave it and hope the boy grows out of it?

Does he like the other child? Sometimes if it's the same biter/victim every time, it's because they're friends and insist on playing together anyway. If he isn't friends with the other child, then the nursery needs to work on keeping them separated.

No don’t message the mum. The nursery really should be ‘on it’ more. When I worked in a nursery we had one person responsible for the biter at all times, you needed to react before the teeth made contact. I know that’s sometimes difficult with staffing ratios etc but it really shouldn’t be allowed to repeatedly happen. I’d be having a talk with the nursery to ask what their strategy is.

The nursery need to supervise more carefully. 20 years ago my ds was 'the biter' we were referred to the health visitor (totally useless, suggested putting a rawhide bone on a ribbon round his neck!!!!) I did however provide 'chewlery' which enabled ds to take his frustrations out on that rather than other toddlers!! My gp suggested biting him back (she was old school but even then that was out of the question!) Speak to the nursery manager, your question should be 'what are you doing to keep my ds safe' whilst they also assist the parents of the biter to stop this behaviour (in our case it was related to 'teething pain' as his teeth developed late so providing cooling rings etc helped stop the behaviour) Not nice for anyone but the staff should be supervising better and it's not for you to approach the parents